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Open Poetry #29
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The Last Little Pig
| Open Poetry #29 |
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The Last Little Pig |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg 
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As I departed from my place of dying No heed back o'er my shoulder, no reprise, Regretful not, I clampèd tight mine eyes In vain to keep my starving self from crying: In fields of sticks and straw alone in sway, I took my refuge and revoked my prey--- When through the tumult, on my broken stride, I came upon a clearing in the plain Where, chanting to a humble, meek refrain, A melancholy creature did reside--- His hairs were wet, his skin was black with dirt, And his frail hoofs bore bleeding sores of hurt. He spotted me, expression yet discreet, Reading my knotted tongue its thirst and craving, The moisture of his eyes, an ocean waving, Began to settle---I, upon my feet, Held still a moment, failing to believe The bounty that my thirst was to receive. "My blood is thine," he said, "I beckon thee To eat of me, for I have come to find The world of bricks and mortar none reminds Its subjects of their mindless treachery. I know thy hunger, yes---I hear thy plight, And beckon thee to feast on me to-night." The dimness of the moon, I swear, did flicker As I beheld my object of desire Spread eagerly upon his willful pyre Without a rope or nail---My blood ran thicker Than ever had I felt---His veins did bleed, As I to quench my hunger did proceed. "God bless thee," did he whisper, as I tore His sinew from his bone---"God bless thee, son, For though thou liv'st to torment every-one With every self-same hunger that I pour Into thy soul, hereby I vanquish all." Thus spake the bloody martyr from his thrall. And hence I wander on this nightly plain Which, since the last, has ever empty been Of flesh or feast---My claws fore'er unclean Though I make nutriment of their red stains--- I see the village burning, and bright flames Rise from the ashes, rubbing out my name. [This message has been edited by Local Parasite (10-11-2003 09:52 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Brian James Lee - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
LP...it has been too long since I have read one of your amazings...and this was. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Scintillating -- (dare I say it?) -- as usual.... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Riley
since 2002-07-18
Posts 1038in the pouring rain |
i am trying my hardest to think...WOW ri * the pouring rain kisses my lips with innocence as you look into my eyes * |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Brian, not very much makes me so in awe that I'm speechless....... this did......... Yes, it's amazing writing... Hugs  Ethel |
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Master Senior Member
since 1999-08-18
Posts 1867Boston, MA |
Oh, i missed your command of language... How smoothly it flows and how effortlessly! Great read! |
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pandonov Member
since 2003-10-03
Posts 478b/w conscience and insolence |
hm, dont know what to say,but dazzling.... |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
Nice take on an old tale! How very clever you are. I liked the point of view and flowing words! Sadelite |
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Magicmystery Senior Member
since 2002-02-13
Posts 821Windsor, Ontario, Canada |
Damn!!! BRIAN!!!! I haven't seen much of you lately but this makes this reprieve from absense worth the wait. SOOOOO, you are the wolf.... taking care of business.... taking the last little pig and putting him out of his misery.... the victory looks empty from where I sit though... What a POEM!!!! Of course, I had to read it twice then share it with my son... you remember him??? he's the one that wanted to read your Snowman in his Literature class..... You're awesome!!! Much enjoyed!! Sherry Cherish the good memories of the past and look forward to the adventure called Tomorrow. But above all... be kind to yourself today. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I'm totally speechless... like, totally. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
BJ...one huge, constant smile any more when I read you...tell that learned man you recently wrote of to take a hike...you DO know what you're doing! Bring back the classics!! |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Local Parasite Excellent write and clue. A message passed down to me and you. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
the moth will be back to savor when time allows.  "Nature's first green is gold, |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Amazing! "if you won't let me fall for you |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Oh Brian, it is wonderful to see you posting again, sweet friend, I certainly hope college is going well for you, despite the dilemma with the Creative Writing professor this semester I heard about, and deciding to hold off until next semester! (big hugggsssssss) Perhaps soon I'll come across this same piece of literature and get to understand the whole of this, this is most wonderful, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
A unique, quaintly written poem. Enjoyed the flow and feel of this....and, I am also pleased that I am not the pig!! |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
Thanks, everyone... I wrote up a personal response to each of you but then I exceeded the maximum amount of smilies, and when I hit back, my whole post was gone. So I'll just sum up everything I said in an impersonal general response. First, I'm glad that the flow got good marks, as it's something I'm trying hard to keep up without gumming it down with punctuation and syllables out-of-place. Getting such a positive response in terms of the poem's flow is reassuring, and it tells me I'm not doing so bad after all. Just what I wanted to hear. Second, this poem is meant to be taken seriously, and it's not just plain retelling. I'm trying to use the old folk tale as a vehicle for some kind of allegory. Seymour got it, and I'm sure a few others did, and that's enough for me... I like knowing that I don't shroud my poetry in too much obscurity that it's impossible to interpret with a little thought. Thanks for the reading and the kind adjectives. Parasite Faith is a fine invention |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
whew....talk about fractured fairy tales  *L*You take symbolism to new places here with this one Bri-guy.. quite the twist on an old tale...kinda like POE meets mother goose. As I departed from my place of dying No heed back o'er my shoulder, no reprise, Regretful not, I clampèd tight mine eyes In vain to keep my starving self from crying: In fields of sticks and straw alone in sway, I took my refuge and revoked my prey--- When through the tumult, on my broken stride, I came upon a clearing in the plain Where, chanting to a humble, meek refrain, =================================== Im more than mildly moth curious where ya got the idea or inspire to write this one? (yeah I know, I'm ALWAY curious.)lol  In fields of sticks and straw alone in sway, The world of bricks and mortar none reminds I see the village burning, and bright flames Rise from the ashes, rubbing out my name. youre so cool!!  and as always...I am loving your rhyme scheme. Clever mix of imagery and metaphor..as well as the play on theme of a classic. and hey--your new pic is groovy too. "Nature's first green is gold, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Ok...when I pulled this up from when I had bookmarked it yesterday, your reply wasnt there...I guess my browser didnt refresh till I replied...anyway...you answered my question about choosing this as a topic... "allegory" ya know... when you say words like that... they become very cool...and intellectually sexy. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
yes... I WILL be able to say I knew him when.. you sir are the poet..and me.. the hack.. nice use of allegory to in the retelling point out at least one if not sevral messages to be learned... to bad we forget from generation to generation of the wisdom that went before and of the mistakes repeated to always... a bitter end |
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Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
JM --- I think "Intellectually Sexy" is now the best thing I've ever been called. Thanks, girlie... hugs.Ron --- A bitter end, yes... but no end is the end, if you get my drift. Thanks for lending your brain to a reading of this. I'm glad you took the time to do so. Faith is a fine invention |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Truly gifted, something I've been lucky enough to learn outside your posted word. Miss our chats, plots of anarchy and arguments. As for the new pic, reminds me of a 70's album sleeve which is a good thing. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
this reminds me of this song called disgustipated... not that I dislike this in any way, you have exelent meter and yes, you do get the point across very well. the pictures that come to mind are..well... you are very exelent with words, Brian. I needed something deep like this What about China? Have you seen the Great Wall? |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
"God bless thee," did he whisper, as I tore His sinew from his bone---"God bless thee, son, For though thou liv'st to torment every-one With every self-same hunger that I pour Into thy soul, hereby I vanquish all." Thus spake the bloody martyr from his thrall. A means to an end to the mean...smile. Welcome to Applied Archetype--finding meaning in the chaos of the mundane--as taught by Professor Local Parasite.  with perfect meter too! tell me another story? (Yer a genius yanno...) |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
HI-- I think I have said once or twice before, you have such an amazing talent..... (like the new pic too... )Lauren~ |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Hey Brian, That new picture wasn't up when I read this...... now that is a cool picture....very "Intellectually Sexy", Sir Poet. Hugs Ethel |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
quote: perhaps we are doomed to repeat to 'pigout' until we devour ourselves? Brian, I'm not sure if that's the intent of this write. I'm sorry I didn't see this until just now. I hope to return to it later tonight after my not-so-gainful employment shift ends, as I feel it's a complexity requires more than a cursory reading. Dang, but you always catch me off guard with the depth of your writes. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
'Twas in this time, I do reflect Such wooded walk in forest glen A place thy soul frequents then and again And I, on bended knee in retrospect Feel no remorse for setting free A different self which binded thee Brian? you are brilliant (but you know this already) right here: "God bless thee," did he whisper, as I tore His sinew from his bone---"God bless thee, son, and here: Rise from the ashes, rubbing out my name. self to self, rebirth . . . taking a tale and birthing it into your own, as you always do so effortlessly, it seems This is a true look inside Brian and you are amazing I adore this and the dark beauty I have left with *smile* Suzie xxoo I love your picture . . . your looking at me, right? [This message has been edited by littlewing (10-15-2003 03:29 PM).] |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
a great write that I had missed for a few rounds here... but managed to catch this end of it... your poetic tools worked well here thought I noticed an 'è' instead of an 'e' or is that the spelling of 'clamped' in old English... you tell me... regards sudhir |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
"The dimness of the moon, I swear, did flicker As I beheld my object of desire Spread eagerly upon his willful pyre Without a rope or nail---My blood ran thicker Than ever had I felt---His veins did bleed, As I to quench my hunger did proceed. "God bless thee," did he whisper, as I tore His sinew from his bone---"God bless thee, son, For though thou liv'st to torment every-one With every self-same hunger that I pour Into thy soul, hereby I vanquish all." Thus spake the bloody martyr from his thrall." Brian?...once again, you amaze and impress. Such an awesome story-teller you are... and you tell it with style and class. Love the write, and very much enjoyed the rhyme scheme and flow...perfectly done. You just keep getting better and better... Good to see you stepping into Open, Brian... When the power of love overcomes the |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
. . breathing this little pig . . . |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
and another breath...... |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
just damn awesome |
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