»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #29
»
Golden Rain
| Open Poetry #29 |
|
Golden Rain |
|
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
|
Golden Rain The golden rain tree is misting yellow drops fall fall dusting the soft head of the baby whose eyes are brown questions that read my face then dart to the black bird that appears to fall too with feathers in ebony on lawn it holds a nut a nut that is squirreled by fluff of tail and slide of such down trunk a steal nipped in strut Is this a smile she questions knowing how to read grim and grin though not yet one she feels gold rain not hunger for a seed But she sees I have a preference written in my stomp of foot was it for the one that’s faster or the one who had it first ? -------- 10-02 |
||
| © Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Like this one Martie, on a lighter side, reminded me of the random urinalysis last week....LOL |
||
|
Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
ah Martie... you know I love how you write... nice telling my friend.. nice indeed. |
||
|
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I am still thinkin', ok? |
||
|
Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
Martie, I can just picture the whole scene unfolding. Let me guess. It was for the one who had it first? Just a hunch... Just like the affection that the baby in your hands is receiving from you. She would probably stomp too, if it was suddenly taken away... It’s nice how you can share such tender moments, so eloquently... Very Sweet! Richy |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This was a lesson for me...in how prejudice gets passed on...you see...it would have been the one who had it first, except I have this prejudice against crows..they are usually so self centered and mean...so I was glad the squirrel got his nut...serves him right. Just was thinking how many lessons observing nature can give me...and my granddaughter, too. A prejudice can turn a believe in what is right upside down. |
||
|
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Wonderful Martie... and I appreicate you explaining as well.. One day...one day...I'm gonna write like you!!  ~Hugs~ ~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~ |
||
|
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
always wonderful to read you..and the responses..Barry's hmmmm made me wonder  M |
||
|
Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie You always amaze me with your write.  |
||
|
James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Your crow lacked the courage to stand up and defend what was his own against a challenger. All he had to do was hold on and carry it away, but he didn't have it in him to do that. So he lost his prize without a fight. Can you tell this midwestern child has a prejudice against crows too? You're right, many questions answered and answers questioned in this small package. |
||
|
Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Martie, thanx for unscrewing the knot in my brain... |
||
Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
tender moments....of gifted pen...hugssss Lauren~ There's a song inside my soul |
||
|
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
It's amazing how nature (if we watch and listen that is)is able to teach and advise us mortals. I say too bad for the crow eh? A wondermous write as always Martie. keeping this. Maree fate is not just whose cooking smells good but which way the wind blows (Ani DiFranco) [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (10-10-2003 12:58 AM).] |
||
|
angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
We can learn many lessons through nature, just as I learm many things through your words.Nicely done. Crystal |
||
|
Richy Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 3050 |
See, I knew I was right! Oh yeah! What? I’m sorry, what was that again? It was for the crow??? Oh... never mind... |
||
Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
MartieSis~ Oh fiddledy, faddledy, foo ... I don't care who got the nut ...~ BUT ....... THIS IS PRICELESS - 'The golden rain tree is misting yellow drops fall fall dusting the soft head of the baby whose eyes are brown questions that read my face' Love n' *huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
||
|
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I like James' response very much... nature truly is a realm where the fittest survive. *S* Excellent write... makes us take a look at our own perceptions of how things should be. *S* |
||
|
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Sweet, sweet Martie.....I love the way you teach us in your poetry.....of beauty, as well as lessons in life. Yes, I also love the responses you receive, too. LOL....Barry is a mess, isn't he? LOL I love the whole poem, but this part about your little granddaughter is so sweet..... yellow drops fall fall dusting the soft head of the baby whose eyes are brown questions that read my face Thank you, sweet lady, for sharing your heart with us.  Heart hugs,  Ethel |
||
|
Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
tender moments and insight you share with us Martie...lovely you.... |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
 For you, m'dear... |
||
|
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
LOL, I do understand this scene well. I always wanted the silly shrews to get away with the treats when the raucous ravens threatened them in Alaska. |
||
|
Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Martie - I remember this one and love it that you shared it with us again to ponder the lives we live and the things we do - Paul |
||
|
Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"yellow drops fall fall dusting the soft head of the baby whose eyes are brown questions that read my face" ~ only you...  EA |
||
|
wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Hmmm, see? my own prejudice slants in the other direction. Crows, I believe to be noble creatures, where squirrels are merely entertaining. Ahh, that clever crow, sacrificing his lunch to feed your muse. Very nice Martie, a lovely write. Ed |
||
|
EvocativeVerse2 Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279 |
Amazing as always Martie! Everything I'd say has already been said by the others...so I will leave it at that. Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history! |
||
|
Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Ha-ha, black bird, yay squirrel! (giggles) Prejudice truly is a harmful thing and I don't like it one bit and believe without prejudice, without stereotypes and all that bluster-guster, the world would be so much more peaceful and there'd be no cynics and all our children could grow up to be believing and happy people! (big hugggsssssss) May this child grow with a golden heart just like yours, yay, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Martie, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
||
|
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Wonderful write ... and I learned some new words too! Yes nature is a great teacher! Love and hugs. Margherita |
||
|
Local Parasite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527Transylconia, Winnipeg |
It's difficult to reply, because your work always fills me with reverence... this poem is an excellent example of your ability to bring out the virtues of the senses and animate them with words and pictures. You put so much life into your imagery. My sole criticism is that "stomp of foot" is a bit heavy compared to the rest of the poem. If you intended this heaviness to symbolize the out-of-place footprints of humanity which don't quite fit into the loveliness of nature, then hey, kudos. You can even pretend you meant that if you didn't.  The baby's eyes being brown questions... that's my favourite image in the poem. I remember one praise Coleridge made of Shakespeare was that he has the ability to place a single word so accurately that it completely transforms the image from something simple into something distinct and vivid. You've done that here, I believe. You're a talented woman, Martie. Thank you as always for letting me read and gape at your poetry. Brian Faith is a fine invention |
||
|
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Is it necessary that there be a winner at all? Or a loser? Or that we wish for either? This brings me many thoughts, and feelings to explore. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
