navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » I was wrong to think...
Open Poetry #28
Post A Reply Post New Topic I was wrong to think... Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-08-15 02:47 AM



even as i ride
a wild horse
along the tide..

its seems so lonely.

though i write
tragic towards you..
laughter,
caught between
salty teeth.

it becomes incredibly easy
to ignore
and to pretend
that i can float upon water.

that i can mend
everything with
missing peices.

i embed the stars
within .
i still talk to the sky aloud.

as though it understands
better than most..
if it even listens,
it does not dry my tears.

instict tells me
that you lied..
that the wall was never built,
merely a casual illusion cast.

as i was aside.

it was wrong of me to think
that
there was a horse to begin with..

that something perfect could
possibly exist
that my weak wrists could
withstand the drawing motion.

all this said
to a light polluted sky..

© Copyright 2003 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved
QjQ
Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756
U.S.A.
1 posted 2003-08-15 02:51 AM


terrific penning n read,,,

     


garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
2 posted 2003-08-15 03:39 AM


Meghan, even though it's sad,
it's beautiful.
Hugs  
Ethel

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
3 posted 2003-08-15 06:40 AM


Shadows of emotions are hard to figure out .....

          
           more so than the "real deal" sometimes.


        Keep both hands on the reins!!

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
4 posted 2003-08-15 06:49 AM


I could defintely relate to your words.  A sad but very honest and heartfelt write.

Patricia  

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2003-08-15 07:47 AM



Well, Meghan, you made me read this twice.  Once for the impact, the second time for a deeper understanding of the poem itself.  I like the way you concluded that there's no running away from a problem ... even if one has a horse of any kind...

Very well done.

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
6 posted 2003-08-15 08:04 AM


love this....especially the end lines...ice


inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
7 posted 2003-08-15 08:47 AM



i embed the stars
within .
i still talk to the sky aloud.

as though it understands
better than most..

it is there for you always

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
8 posted 2003-08-15 09:53 AM


love reading your  poetry enjoy your words
Lone Star
New Member
since 2003-08-15
Posts 6
Iowa
9 posted 2003-08-15 09:59 AM


so sad...
The mood is as mine this day...


Deb...Lone Star



Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
10 posted 2003-08-15 10:05 AM


Meg,

This was brilliant!  I love every stanza...every word...every meaning...indeed it does not dry the tears...

Side Bar:  You made me want to go horseback riding..but for some reason I want to do it alone...on the beach.

I have come to love your words so, so much.

Susan

eor
Senior Member
since 2002-09-26
Posts 959
blues & greys
11 posted 2003-08-16 02:18 AM


at least the sky listens to every word you say unflinchingly, and takes it for hat each letter of each word is worth...

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

froggy
Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893
Michigan
12 posted 2003-09-04 04:39 PM


I like this

:-)

bsquirrel
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

13 posted 2003-09-04 05:27 PM


The scary thing? I wrote "Child becomes mermaid" well before reading this. There must be something in the air -- or the water.
gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
14 posted 2003-09-05 10:41 AM


though i write
tragic towards you..
laughter,
caught between
salty teeth.

My heart thumped reading this , and some after i'd finished...damn woman, this could be one of your best, or the best.

instict tells me
that you lied..
that the wall was never built,
merely a casual illusion cast.

as i was aside.

it was wrong of me to think
that
there was a horse to begin with..

Can i just say how glad i am you came to live here at pip? the whole theme of this aches, the twists, i think, if i may, i'll print it n put it on my wall. puhleeeese?

Instant karma's gonna get you.

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
15 posted 2003-09-05 11:39 AM


This is so sad and longing, but only written with the beauty that you can give.
Crystal

ChaoticHazeLight
Member
since 2006-06-13
Posts 71
California, U.S.
16 posted 2007-02-22 07:54 PM


Envious...  You're a beautiful person.  
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » I was wrong to think...

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary