I was wrong to think... - pipTalk Forums

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Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-08-15 02:47 AM

even as i ride
a wild horse
along the tide..

its seems so lonely.

though i write
tragic towards you..
laughter,
caught between
salty teeth.

it becomes incredibly easy
to ignore
and to pretend
that i can float upon water.

that i can mend
everything with
missing peices.

i embed the stars
within .
i still talk to the sky aloud.

as though it understands
better than most..
if it even listens,
it does not dry my tears.

instict tells me
that you lied..
that the wall was never built,
merely a casual illusion cast.

as i was aside.

it was wrong of me to think
that
there was a horse to begin with..

that something perfect could
possibly exist
that my weak wrists could
withstand the drawing motion.

all this said
to a light polluted sky..

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

1 posted 2003-08-15 02:51 AM

terrific penning n read,,,

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

2 posted 2003-08-15 03:39 AM

Meghan, even though it's sad,
it's beautiful.

Hugs

Ethel

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

3 posted 2003-08-15 06:40 AM

Shadows of emotions are hard to figure out .....


           more so than the "real deal" sometimes.

        Keep both hands on the reins!!

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

4 posted 2003-08-15 06:49 AM

I could defintely relate to your words. A sad but very honest and heartfelt write.

Patricia

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

5 posted 2003-08-15 07:47 AM

Well, Meghan, you made me read this twice. Once for the impact, the second time for a deeper understanding of the poem itself. I like the way you concluded that there's no running away from a problem ... even if one has a horse of any kind...

Very well done.

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

6 posted 2003-08-15 08:04 AM

love this....especially the end lines...ice

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

7 posted 2003-08-15 08:47 AM

i embed the stars
within .
i still talk to the sky aloud.

as though it understands
better than most..

it is there for you always

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

8 posted 2003-08-15 09:53 AM

love reading your poetry

enjoy your words

Lone Star
New Member

since 2003-08-15

Posts 6
Iowa

9 posted 2003-08-15 09:59 AM

so sad...
The mood is as mine this day...

Deb...Lone Star

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

10 posted 2003-08-15 10:05 AM

Meg,

This was brilliant! I love every stanza...every word...every meaning...indeed it does not dry the tears...

Side Bar: You made me want to go horseback riding..but for some reason I want to do it alone...on the beach.

I have come to love your words so, so much.

Susan

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

11 posted 2003-08-16 02:18 AM

at least the sky listens to every word you say unflinchingly, and takes it for hat each letter of each word is worth...

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

froggy
Senior Member

since 2003-06-23

Posts 1893
Michigan

12 posted 2003-09-04 04:39 PM

I like this

:-)

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

13 posted 2003-09-04 05:27 PM

The scary thing? I wrote "Child becomes mermaid" well before reading this. There must be something in the air -- or the water.

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

14 posted 2003-09-05 10:41 AM

though i write
tragic towards you..
laughter,
caught between
salty teeth.

My heart thumped reading this , and some after i'd finished...damn woman, this could be one of your best, or the best.

instict tells me
that you lied..
that the wall was never built,
merely a casual illusion cast.

as i was aside.

it was wrong of me to think
that
there was a horse to begin with..

Can i just say how glad i am you came to live here at pip? the whole theme of this aches, the twists, i think, if i may, i'll print it n put it on my wall. puhleeeese?

Instant karma's gonna get you.

angelblueyes
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2148
Oklahoma

15 posted 2003-09-05 11:39 AM

This is so sad and longing, but only written with the beauty that you can give.

Crystal

ChaoticHazeLight
Member

since 2006-06-13

Posts 71
California, U.S.

16 posted 2007-02-22 07:54 PM

Envious... You're a beautiful person.

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