Today I Broke Down And Cried.

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Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-08-03 03:17 AM

Today I
broke down
and cried.

We are
so similar,
we let
winter end
in our hands.

should we
drift,
may we
lose our way
together.

trembling lips
linger.
I have hardly
been your shelter.

I will
always hunger
for something
more to give..

I have given
nothing.

But I fear
I
have too
much to lose
in you.

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

1 posted 2003-08-03 03:52 AM

very touching write,,,

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-08-03 04:28 AM

I have had todays like that

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

3 posted 2003-08-03 05:10 AM

and you are heard...

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2003-08-03 05:48 AM

You wrote this good...James

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

5 posted 2003-08-03 07:57 AM

I have known this...and you have expressed it well.

Patricia

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2003-08-03 08:30 AM

Expressed, Very well.

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

7 posted 2003-08-03 10:05 AM

Very nicely done. Enjoyed ! Chris

"The suspense is terrible.
I hope it will last!"
-Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

8 posted 2003-08-03 10:11 AM

Kaoru
They say confession is good for the soul.
Enjoyed the read.

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

9 posted 2003-08-03 10:29 AM

sad, and yet?
Kaoru, as long as you keep giving, your heart will mend and be stronger in the end.
(R.Kenshin would agree)

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

10 posted 2003-08-03 10:34 AM

Nicely done.

Susan C.

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

11 posted 2003-08-03 11:19 AM

nice. i like the thoughtful pace of its. its almost like stream of consciousness. the close usage of give/given was a bit redundant however.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

12 posted 2003-08-03 01:45 PM

I hate it when I never know what to say...I feel like crying tho...you know what actually Tori Amos comes to mind when I read some of your poetry..*shrugs* I hope that's not a bad thing...*goes off now*

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

13 posted 2003-08-03 02:33 PM

But I fear
I
have too
much to lose
in you.

always the risk in getting close to someone though but sometimes (i hear) there's gain

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-21

Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

14 posted 2003-08-03 04:52 PM

The only gift is a portion of thyself.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

[This message has been edited by Local Rebel (08-03-2003 04:57 PM).]

eor
Senior Member

since 2002-09-26

Posts 959
blues & greys

15 posted 2003-08-03 08:49 PM

seriously, this almost made me cry...fantastic write

"in a past life i was a woodcarver's knife: the sharpend blade of a wood cutter, the eldest son of the chief's brother: a maker of drums"

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

16 posted 2003-08-03 10:02 PM

sorry I missed this. I am so sorry, please cheer up?

beautifully expressed

insanity is not a crime

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

17 posted 2003-08-03 10:08 PM

SharaRose
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~

18 posted 2003-08-03 10:09 PM

Your heart is so sincere somehow I don't think he could miss knowing it and that without you even having to say it. This is so full of heart-

SharaRose @-->--

Suetang
Member Ascendant

since 2001-03-07

Posts 5187
Melbourne, Australia

19 posted 2003-08-03 11:03 PM

Hello Meghan

Your words were so delicate, yet so very sad.

Take care......Sue

I am in motion
I am blue
Love is an ocean
I'm anchored in you
- Shawn Mullins

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

20 posted 2003-08-03 11:10 PM

True value is measured only by what you give away.

There is strength in what you say, and much emotion.

Thank you for sharing it.

Amature2
Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 416

21 posted 2003-08-03 11:18 PM

Kaoru, this reminds me of a song by Longwave called Tidal Wave, a line in it goes like this, "The hardest thing you ever gave away, is the hardest thing to keep".

"No matter what obsticles life may bring, remember, You can fly" author unknown

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

22 posted 2003-08-03 11:26 PM

Kaoru, your words really touched me....
they were so sad and heart-felt. Thank you,
sweet lady, for sharing your heart
with us in this wonderful poem.

Hugs to you

Ethel

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

23 posted 2003-08-04 12:23 PM

Thanks to you all for your replies, so many that I cannot say thanks individually..

I'm glad to be of service.

Thank you, come again..or something to that degree.

wornways
Member

since 2001-10-18

Posts 204
CA, USA

24 posted 2003-08-24 03:20 AM

  Also an expressive write. I find your choice of line breakage interesting.

  When you read such a piece as this, do you pause at the end of each line or read straight through?

  My tendency is to pause at each line break, digesting the words expressed within the line before moving to the next line to digest it and then incorporate it with the previous line, and so on through to the end.

  Cheerfulness,

green_itchy_stuff
Senior Member

since 2003-06-26

Posts 1929
New Caney, Tx

25 posted 2003-08-24 03:30 AM

This is a nice poem.

GIS

a trickle of music from a well
let it spill and roar like hell!

{Lord knows Im a VOODOO CHILD}-JIMI

ctowen
Member Elite

since 2001-10-18

Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT

26 posted 2003-08-24 03:15 PM

Seasons change ...

life springs,
from summer heat
we fall once again,
into cold of winter
and await the warmth
in the hands of time

      Funny thing ...
         like the circle of seasons,
          love finds a way home.

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

27 posted 2003-08-24 03:26 PM

I'm still with you.

Kielo

lucky
Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 1601
Idaho

28 posted 2003-08-24 03:37 PM

a lot of reading between the lines...

my favorite: "we let winter end in our
hands..."

This is excellent, I could build a page
from just this.

dale

[This message has been edited by lucky (08-24-2003 03:40 PM).]

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

29 posted 2003-08-24 04:57 PM

We are
so similar,
we let
winter end
in our hands.

Love the image of this.

Wonderfully expressed.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

Amature2
Member

since 2001-01-08

Posts 416

30 posted 2003-08-26 08:34 AM

"I have given
nothing.

But I fear
I
have too
much to lose
in you."

Wow!!! As I read this again, this line caught my eyes.

[This message has been edited by Amature2 (08-26-2003 08:36 AM).]

timothysangel1973

Senior Member

since 2001-12-03

Posts 1725
Never close enough

31 posted 2003-08-26 12:33 PM

"But I fear I
have too
much to lose
in you."

~AMEN~

[This message has been edited by timothysangel1973 (08-26-2003 12:34 PM).]

Connel

Senior Member

since 2002-11-04

Posts 736
Florida, USA

32 posted 2003-08-26 01:01 PM

Beautifly writen.. the way you put this together, perfect.. Great write.

Read ^ there, because you are reading the wrong part!

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