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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

0 posted 2003-08-10 11:28 PM

"Don't touch me!"
I can talk through teeth
clenched
and I don't feel
the throb
of the nerve
just dangling
like Daniel clutched
between the jaws
as the fire
feeds the rage
lions now
released from cage
I offer nothing
but my faith
as the Roman soldier grins--
considering
my life--a meal
for the beasts
within
they keep
a pestle
upon stone...

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

1 posted 2003-08-10 11:34 PM

""Don't touch me!"
I can talk through teeth
clenched
and I don't feel
the throb
of the nerve"

Wow.. Amazing writing!
Love it.

Krawdad
Member Elite

since 2001-01-03

Posts 2597

2 posted 2003-08-10 11:41 PM

Maybe like dried spice, about to be released . . .

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

3 posted 2003-08-11 12:32 PM

You have a good understanding of pain. That is a gift.

Thank you for sharing your other gift of poetry.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2003-08-11 12:40 PM

Your vitality is infectious,
and there is no getting around your verve.

It becomes you, so nicely Serenity!!!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2003-08-11 03:22 AM

oooooo yes!

Local Parasite

Member Elite

since 2001-11-05

Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg

6 posted 2003-08-11 03:26 AM

Entertainment is disgusting.  You certainly nailed it with this one, as always, my dear lady.

I love your first-person experience of the girl being overtaken by the roman soldier, the rushed feeling... very vivid and powerful.  To just be a game for someone, a source of entertainment like that.  Lovely writing, especially your choice of closing... stepping away from the self-scene and turning to see something else, ominous and foreboding...

You and your poetry, Serenity... I just don't get it.

Much love to my special witchy girl.

(The Cute) Brian

Faith is a fine invention
When gentlemen can see
But microscopes are prudent
In an emergency.
~~~Emily Dickinson

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

7 posted 2003-08-11 03:33 AM

Serenity...Yanno Daniel survived the lions den and so will you my friend, because you are that way...Paul
Oh by the way I enjoyed the write as always.

"To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you"

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

8 posted 2003-08-11 09:45 AM

mortar and pestle, rock and a hard place - sometimes *sigh*, it's difficult - you know...(and here I stop making sense, if I ever did), but like an herb, there's an essence there that seeps into stone and pestle. Seasoning and changing, cleansing, maybe - it's too bad we have to lose the original to get it.

I have no idea where that tangent came from, sometimes my brain gets the runs, don't mind me.

Nic

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

9 posted 2003-08-11 03:42 PM

"as the Roman soldier grins--
considering
my life--a meal
for the beasts
within
they keep
a pestle
upon stone..."

Karen, this gave me chills! What a gift to be able to invoke such feeling into your reader...

Susan

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

10 posted 2003-08-11 06:29 PM

a mortar and pestle . . .

who would think of that line?
Godddd . . . this line hit it home, Lady K
xxoo

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