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Open Poetry #28
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One Quick Butterfly
| Open Poetry #28 |
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One Quick Butterfly |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597
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One Quick Butterfly It’s a dead calm evening not a single ash leaf quivers nor a sumac, waiting for the deep red days. This plate glass of a wall seems a realist’s painting, save one quick butterfly, like a brush’s spasm. I must go out quietly onto the deck, make sure this is real, not one of my illusions. It is It is ! And all of the birds must think it strange, or revel in their total control! Tonight I think they fly for the joy of it. But what?! A breath? From the south. Is that you, my dear? Oh, but if it were, I could hear every ounce of your whisper, read every nuance of your lips, feel every inch of your exhale. I could measure the distance of your voice to within a word, a very close word. This calm, this balm, this study in stillness unmeasurable. I do wish you were here! *ooo* © 080703 |
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| © Copyright 2003 Krawdad - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
you painted a vivid poem, enjoyed! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
This plate glass of a wall seems a realist’s painting, save one quick butterfly, like a brush’s spasm. I enjoyed the stillness, and your ending... how I wish! |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
nothing impressionistic here just stark raving real in real good form |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
--I wish I was there too! lol   EA |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
caressingly romantic longing...love these lines so very much: save one quick butterfly, like a brush’s spasm. Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
the northward wind carries many things |
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Legion Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 54 |
I liked this but the ‘It is it is’ line broke the flow for me, would you consider losing one ‘It is’ and tagging the other onto the following line? Just a thought from one amateur to another.  [This message has been edited by Legion (08-09-2003 01:43 PM).] |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
I am in awe...as I am with all your work. Extremely well penned sir. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~The breeze that kissed you on the face, |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Always amazed by your writing |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
love.ly |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Krawdad~ This is such a lovely write ... ~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Krawdad, this is beautiful.......from the title to the last word....perfect. Are you a teacher, Sir? Your poetry is so excellently written. I love it. If you don't mind, I'm going to keep this to study. Thank you  Hugs Ethel |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
I enjoyed reading this, Krawdad, especially the end lines. Top shelf poetry.......ice |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
ecrivan, Thanks, and glad you enjoyed. Blues, The only way I could share it. Local, Compelled to describe it, and went on from there. Thank you. EA, And you would have written something too. VAS, Not surprised you did. Thank you. p.s., Indeed it does . . . Legion, That was a bit of a risk, so I appreciate your comment. Sorry it burped for you. Nancy, And hugs to you for the compliment. Aenimal, You flatter me, Sir. Lady, Ty You might have written something at least as love.ly Marge, Thank you. Appreciate your comment. Ethel, With such flattery I am nearly speechless. But no, I am not a teacher. In fact, I have yet to take a creative writing course. So glad you enjoyed this. Ice, Thank you for the kind reply. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Mr. Kraw, I truly loved this entire piece, hope..longing...all there. These are my favorite lines: "This plate glass of a wall seems a realist’s painting" Oh yes...well done! Susan |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Oh, but if it were, I could hear every ounce of your whisper, read every nuance of your lips, feel every inch of your exhale. I could measure the distance of your voice to within a word, a very close word. Oh, I do know this wishing... yes! *S* But mine's expressed in whines and groans... that never approach this tender beauty. *S* Excellent write!! *S* [This message has been edited by suthern (08-10-2003 09:31 AM).] |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
This is beauty with the sense of longing and hope.Very well penned from beginning to end. angelblueyes |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Krawdad A longer one for you...I like it...the way you painted a butterfly into a still life...lovely! |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Bravo! I love this! *bows* |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
Susan, I was hoping that I could convey the sense of it. Thanks. suthern, I take your compliment seriously. Thank you. angelblueyes, Thank you for your kind remarks. Martie, A pleasure to have you stop by and comment. Kaoru, Glad you liked it. (takes a reluctant bow) Thanks. |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
leaves me breathless.. enjoyed hugs, g "Now would you mind if I bared my soul / If I came right out and said you're beautiful..." B. Adams |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
 If I could have penned poetry once in a life's time I would have chosen words like these. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
You certainly can create a tone and mood with your exquisite poetry. I felt it--I've lived it. A moment in time, not soon forgotten... EA |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
felt every inch of this one Whether on the shoal or on the shore, |
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Ringo
since 2003-02-20
Posts 3684Saluting with misty eyes |
I could measure the distance of your voice to within a word, a very close word. It doesn't get much better than this. This is outstanding... as usual. We are all equal but we’re individually different |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
dg, So glad you liked. Thanks for reviving this. It was fun to write. K, I am immensely flattered! Thank you. EA, Thank you for such kind words. VAS, I thought you might relate to this. We haven't crossed paths lately, I should be here more often? Ringo, Thanks for the high compliment, sir. (But I have no idea where these things come from.) |
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