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Oubilette
| Open Poetry #28 |
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Oubilette |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
**************(Hanky-Alert!  ***************(With all the support I've gotten from so many of you on my journal, you have all touched my heart so much and I felt the confidence to post this old poem I've never released before, because it is very depressing and relates to my depression, nightmares, and seizures as a child. Thank you all, wonderful friends of mine, who continue to support me and bring comfort to me as I share everything about me!) Oubilette By: Noah Eaton 2/27/00 I'm not sleeping, it's well past 2 A.M The devil always knows how to make me nervous There's no use in sleeping anymore I've already laid in my grave six hours each day I've been feasting on scraps all this time AND I'M TOO CLUMSY TO FALL INTO ANOTHER OUBILETTE... . . . . . . . . . (slam) . . . . . . . . . My throat has been parched since I've been born I am a baptized vampire starving on my sins It's much too silent to give me reason to scream Already I feel the cancer eating me up within Don't come on down and join this dusk vigil BELIEVE ME, I DON'T WANT TO CROWD UP YOUR SPACE... . . . . . . . . . (slam) . . . . . . . . . All I want is a second reason to bleed Lord, help me understand Jesus better, I plead... Lord, what will I become Will I ever break out of my shell What will my mother think When I can't find my way out of this hell? Pray for me, cause nothing ever comes for me There are not enough tourniquets to ease The blood that I keep spilling... . . . . . I need another neck to drink from I need another dream to entertain Cause all I've seen are Hollywood massacres Every minute I see my skeleton staring across from me... Your words of sympathy are not enough All I want is to crawl inside you and HIDE AWAY... . . . . . . . Hide away... . . . . . . . . . Now my feet have fallen asleep again The demons are trying to tear them apart... Lord, what will I become Will I ever break out of my shell What will my mother think When I can't find my way out of this hell? Pray for me, cause nothing ever comes for me There are not enough tourniquets to ease The blood that I keep spilling... Lord, what will I become Will I ever break out of my shell What will my mother think When I can't find my way out of this hell? Pray for me, cause nothing ever comes for me There are not enough tourniquets to ease The blood that I keep spilling... . . . . . Why me? . . . . . . Why me? . . . . . . . . . Last night I dreamed That the world was set on fire I heard the angels laugh at me And the devil smashed me with a rock... . . . . . . . . . . Last night I dreamed That the world was set on fire I heard the angels laugh at me And the devil smashed me with a rock... . . . . . . . . . LAST NIGHT I DREAMED THAT THE WORLD WAS SET ON FIRE I HEARD THE ANGELS LAUGHT AT ME AND THE DEVIL SMASHED ME WITH A ROCK Right against the back of my skull Leaving me discombobulated once again And how I wish you could feel me How I wish you could feel me How I wish I could trade my soul But what's the use there NO ONE CAN SEE ME THIS FAR DOWN... Lord, what will I become Will I ever break out of my shell What will my mother think When I can't find my way out of this hell? Pray for me, cause nothing ever comes for me There are not enough tourniquets to ease The blood that I keep spilling Lord, what will I become Will I ever break out of my shell WHAT WILL MY MOTHER THINK WHEN I CAN'T FIND MY WAY OUT OF THIS HELL? PRAY FOR ME, CAUSE NOTHING EVER COMES FOR ME THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH TOURNIQUETS TO EASE THE BLOOD THAT I KEEP SPILLING... . . . . . THE BLOOD THAT I KEEP SPILLING... . . . . . . . . . . . . . WHY ME? . . . . . . . . Why me? . . . . . . . . (slam) . I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth I can see the sun set and I perceive ***Live*** [This message has been edited by Mistletoe Angel (09-20-2003 02:58 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Nadia Lockheart - All Rights Reserved | |||
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
expressed with much pain,, glad ya got better and rid of the pains,, |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Noah: this is an amazing write bello - be well, be safe, be you in everything you do. You bless us by being you!  |
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PouringJewels Member
since 2003-09-18
Posts 158Maryland |
Noah, lighten up. Your reply to my poem was so positive, I can't believe you don't see that in yourself. Julia |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Julia in Noah's defense, he did say it was an old poem that he posted He is always positive in his responses and we love him for this |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
Wow. I am SHOCKED. It was extremely good...But so so so weird reading it and knowing it came from you! -HUGS- You're alright, right? All that bad stuff is gone, right? I hope so. Noah, I loved this so much, but it hurts to say so because it was filled with so much pain. I'm so so so glad you decided to post it. Thank you. I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Glad to know it´s an old poem dear Noah, as these words were so full of emotions, stay away from depressions dear friend. I missed reading you. ((hugs)) Charisma |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"How I wish I could trade my soul But what's the use there NO ONE CAN SEE ME THIS FAR DOWN..." Wow ... Noah, excellent format used throughout. I found myself wrapped up in the darkness that you described. Depression is a lonely dark place, and you've described that with an amazing intensity. Well done indeed. Best wishes and big hugs, /Kit |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Wow...this is so powerful Noah. You reach deep within for these words and share so beautifuly. Thank you. Eric |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Noah, you've come a long way Baby! Your presentation was very effective in visually adding to the drama of this write. All of your life experiences, both the good and the bad, have been filling a very creative inkwell. Loving hugs, my Dear Friend! Linda |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Noah~ This reminds me of some of the stuff my daughter used to write, when we were going through what I call the year of hell. Thankfully she is so much better and hey, so are you!! Susan  |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
Noah, thank goodness you have come through all those bad times with flying colors and are now a wonderful and loving man. We are so grateful to have you here, posting and sharing with us. I am especially honored that you dig back and find my poems and always comment so positively. You are indeed a kind and much loved friend. huggles and smiles, Marti Hear Blessings dropping their blossoms all around you. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Noah, reading these poems about your past really hurt. But, I am so thankful that you are doing so well now. I hope that you never have to experience these bad things again. Thanks very much, too, for going back and pulling up some of my poems that have gone un-noticed. That's just like you to do that. You are such a good friend. Lheart: Hugs  Ethel . . . By the way, I haven't been commenting on your journal, but I have been reading. I love the way you are able to put all your feelings into words. Thanks for being you, Noah!!  |
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