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Open Poetry #28
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Please Read My Work Because Nobody Ever Does......!
| Open Poetry #28 |
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Please Read My Work Because Nobody Ever Does......! |
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LukeatNFFC Junior Member
since 2003-07-09
Posts 42Nottingham, England |
The War-Part of a Story I'm Writing. Acts as an introduction. Never-ending, Death was always pending, Silence greeted every cheer, Sunrise brought no end to fear. Cold and silent, War had never been so violent, Laughter greeted every hope, In the darkness, hard to cope. Alone in Languish, Parents exalted in Anguish, Nobody needed the death call, As another child had to fall. I'd appreciate it very much if someone actually responded to my work, in a negative or positive way........Please...? |
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| © Copyright 2003 Luke - All Rights Reserved | |||
Nightshade 
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Gee, Luke, maybe you should post this in Dark. It's Sunday and well.....a lovely day really. Your writing is quite good, but there are soooooo many poets in Pip now, it's hard to respond to each and every one. I was told that as long as I am satisfied with my writing....that's what really matters...not the amount of comments I receive. Keep on writing my friend, and maybe try some "gentle, happy thoughts."  hugs, Chris  |
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MorninGlory Member
since 2003-08-30
Posts 175Oklahoma |
I think it takes a while for people to get to know you here, I'm new too, but I also agree with the concept that it is more important to be happy with your own work than to rely on the opinions of others. Always nice to get comments of course, but I think many times our work is being read, they just don't have time to leave comments sometimes. Hang in there, I'm going to, I have to write, so I think I'll stick around a while! Lets enjoy our visit here.. ~ becky |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
It is a good write Luke. It's so very hard to respond to each and every member especially when the number I believe is over 7000 now. I do try to read as much as possible, but time limits the amount I can respond to. Just because you don't get the replies you would expect... does not mean people are not reading what you write. I do! ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~ Summer can't be over... |
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JilGirl Member
since 2003-05-24
Posts 364Washington |
I agree that this is a very fine write. I understand the feelings when it appears that no one cares, but as already mentioned by other members, replies are inadequate and that leaves a poet wondering if their work is good enough and even if they fit into the membership. Take heart! If you like your own writes, eventually others will too. A good rule regarding replies is within the PIP guidelines. I try to answer three others before I post a new write. Then, I also try to reply to the writes of those who reply to mine. I believe that to be very important. It takes a while. Just hang in there and keep posting your fine poems. Blessings! Shirl 'Tiz feathers that make the bird - Always remember to keep them fluffed but, never, EVER ruffle them! [This message has been edited by JilGirl (09-14-2003 04:15 PM).] |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Sunrise brought no end to fear I can relate to what I read in the news..war..and personally. Nice work, Luke. M |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Luke, this is a very fine write, even though it is sad. I'm sorry that you aren't getting the number of replies that you would like to get. As somone has already mentioned, in the guidelines, it is requested that if you want replies it is good to reply to at least three poems of other poets for each poem that you post. This isn't a rule like I have seen at some poetry sites, but it is a good idea. If you will notice, most of the ones who get the most replies to their poems, reply to other peoples poems. The amount of replies someone gets certainly does not measure the quality of the poem. So, please keep writing. Thanks for sharing this one with us.  Hugs to you, Luke  Ethel |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
enyoyed the write n read,, Luke, Perhaps you should take some time and go in the Discussion forum and study the many threads in the Alley forum,,, and in other areas of PiP,, to enrich your knowledge, |
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froggy Senior Member
since 2003-06-23
Posts 1893Michigan |
Very nice read indeed Luke. :-) |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Oh WOW do I ever know that feeling! Seems like all I have to do is post a piece of my soul here, and it drops like an anchor.....and one little thing that I literally wrote in 30 seconds as a message to a friend, floated for more than a week, not long ago. Tis a puzzlement..... This poem has a hard subject that will make a lot of readers uncomfortable, so maybe they will bounce off it....Don't be too bothered if that happens, just do the best quality that you're capable of creating, and know it's good. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Gee, Luke, I'm thinking this is beginning to be in need of a new title?  It's a good intro. Is it for the book overall, or is there an intro to every chapter? |
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MARK V SHELDON Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 3015In a corporeal internship... |
...write it, and they will come... I'm losing hope that humanity will ever learn its lesson that war is not the way. It seems that "we're" stuck in a permanent circle which has no end to it. Maybe after "graduating" to the next life/level will "we" learn our follies...? In any case, this was presented well and seems to make for a compelling introduction to a story which may have many possibilities. -MVS You CAN make a difference: |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
I think this is great, and yeah...it needs a better title. if you amke friends, you'll probably get more replys and feedback And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots!" |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Welcome to Passions Luke. This is the first of your works I have seen. Nice clean style...brought the emotions into easy eye. ThisDiamond |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Hi! It certainly pays to advertize! I think I'll try that line the next time one of my poems sinks into oblivion! lol  Remember the three R's! Read, Write & Reply! It works!--most of the time!  Now that you have our attention, let's see some more of your work! --and as far as this poem goes, you're on the money regarding war. War is never-ending on this planet. It has an ugly face and it sucks!--and when children fall, so too does our humanity. Peace & Light, EA [This message has been edited by Earth Angel (09-14-2003 11:13 PM).] |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
No one needs another death call. So true, so true. But your title apparently isn't a true statement any longer.  |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Luke~ Nice job! Is the entire book about war? Susan |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"Nobody needed the death call." So true, needs nor wants...James |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (big hugggssssssss) Oh Luke, I am so very sorry yo haven't gotten the number of replies you deserve so very much, sweet friend, I, myself, was just like you and many other members here before. In fact, I joined Passions around Christmas of 2000 and didn't get noticed until one entire year later, and it just comes to show that perserverance is the key to feeling like family! (smiles) Reading and commenting really helps to boost your number of replies, sweet friend, that way many will want to return the favor to you happily! (sigh) Your poem is very powerful, dearest friend, I don't believe in ANY war, and never will, and when someone lies to a nation about the excuse to start a war, that's even worse and I lose all my respect for liars! (sad sigh) You speak with true conviction and heart, sweet friend, God Bless You, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Luke, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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