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Open Poetry #28

You're Gone.

exhale
Senior Member

since 2003-06-13

Posts 646
Alberta,Canada

0 posted 2003-09-14 02:00 AM

street lamps
blinded by the harsh,honest light
stop yelling
what did i do wrong
start walking away
thats what you do best
just leave
footsteps in the dark
you're gone

[This message has been edited by exhale (09-14-2003 02:01 AM).]

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

1 posted 2003-09-14 03:35 AM

feelings expressed well...

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-09-14 12:50 PM

I know someone like this

what they do best, yeah

sigh

mytuesdaywishes
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox

3 posted 2003-09-15 11:38 PM

ouch...it hurts no matter what. it hurts, but the better person never walks away. you're strong and passionate. keep writing. maybe a little more description and feeling, but keep it real, dont fancy it up too much. make it yours.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

4 posted 2003-09-16 04:39 AM

Nice....James

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