Open Poetry #28 |
Scrapbook The Moon (with Cpat Hair) |
Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Borders never quite pressed shadows across these eyes some dark veil, in corners of day to shield I's from corona flash over edges of eclipsing thought or frame these lips in touch The dark holds wind sings in bluer tones chorded -- to midnight I remember watching light slip into a cold moon unending through fingers, and silver sliding from tree tops so many words left palms facing upward to be added page by page so that memories saved like this were denied the sting of eyes Flash blurred -- tears cried on offering such alms as these fronds of me so delicate the want bend and seek the dream up over the edge of the world like storm clouds: the voice whispering hauntingly: let me in, soft orchid strokes brushing gold silk stretched to screen "When I see the light again will your heart I read?" Upwards palm in beg I bleed waiting between moment and memory empty rain and echo's the oceans rearrange their affairs it's late now rest I will always belong to you The way you move me I walk with your shadow With your silhouette Leave the light on It always comes Back to you [This message has been edited by Greeneyes (09-12-2003 03:03 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved | |||
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Oh, Lauren and Capt. Ron, this is so beautiful. But with you two writing, I would never expect any less. I would have put a favorite verse, but I didn't want to pick just one out. Hugs to you both Ethel |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
(smiles) Yay! Oh Lauren and Ron, I just love this, dearest friends, Lauren, your wonderful imagery and Ron's fabulous narration both make an excellent photomontage of excellence! (big angel group hug) God Bless You, sweet friends, this is beautiful, I could see as the moon kept changing cycles a new picture or mirage was unraveled, yay, we all love you so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Lauren and Ron, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you both! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
After the loud sigh... the sound you just heard was me throwing my pens and notebooks out the window! Absolutley amazing blending of pens here you two!! Please say you will du-et again..?! ~Smiles & Hugs to you both, Nancy~ ~ Summer can't be over... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Borders never quite pressed shadows across these eyes some dark veil, in corners of day to shield I's from corona flash over edges of eclipsing thought or frame these lips in touch The dark holds wind sings in bluer tones chorded -- to midnight I remember watching light slip into a cold moon unending through fingers and silver sliding from tree tops so many words left palms facing upward to be added page by page so that memories saved like this were denied the sting of eyes Flash blurred-- tears cried on offering such alms as these fronds of me so delicate the want bend and seek the dream up over the edge of the world like storm clouds: the voice whispering hauntingly: let me in, soft orchid strokes brushing gold silk stretched to screen "When I see the light again will your heart I read?" Upwards palm in beg I bleed waiting between moment and memory empty rain and echo's the oceans rearrange their affairs it's late now rest I will always belong to you =========================== OMG......................... I am in elation afterglow.... I am high with exquisite euphoria I am moth giddy!!! I am grateful to have witnessed this dueting...I got poetic tingles as soon as I saw the names... I never wanted this one to end..... my printer is turned on and Im finding a frame...... Lauren Ron "If you hear teardrops falling like rain on the rooftops ... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Exquisite melding of poetic talent and heart! Kudos to both of you! |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
""When I see the light again will your heart I read?" Upwards palm in beg I bleed waiting between moment and memory empty rain and echo's the oceans rearrange their affairs it's late now rest I will always belong to you" Reading this, I wonder why I bother trying to write at all. Incredible you two...truly superb. (Even if it did take me someplace I'd have rather not gone today.   |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
I already know that Lauren can write poetry, but until now, I have not read any of Cpat's, although while meeting with Susan, she did tell me that he could write poetry very well. Therefore, I found Lauren's style mixed with Cpat's - the result was like taking a great recipe and combining it with another outstanding recipe and yielding something completely different, yet excellent just the same. Does that make sense? lol. Enjoyed! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Perfect duet...absolutely seamless, the best of the best, from two of PIP's finest writers. Encore! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Kudos go to Ms Lauren.... it is her magic and talent that make this the piece it is. I simply stood by and handed her pens to write with... she did the rest, which, as usual is magic.. thank you all and thank you Lauren for carrying me through the excersize. [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (09-12-2003 04:00 PM).] |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
in complete awe of this, two of pip's brightest..urgh..words..not...coming..description is futile |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
Capt~ you give me far too much credit, as I would never have come up with these verses with out your pen....for that I am most thankful....thank you for your pen!! ~~~~~ I am so excited that each of you came in to read and give your heartfelt replies....it really makes writing and sharing worth it.... thank you all MUWWWAAAHHHSSS and HUGSSS Lauren~ The way you move me |
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Opeth Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543The Ravines |
Is it just me or does anybody else feel that Lauren is feeling (besides looking) fine? |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well wrap this up with a silver bow and put it under my Christmas tree... Brava! Bravo! |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice duet |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
over edges of eclipsing thought or frame these lips in touch The dark holds wind sings in bluer tones chorded to midnight I remember watching light slip into a cold moon unending through fingers, and silver sliding from tree tops so many words left palms facing upward ================================= I sooooooooooo needed to read this one again.. wind sings in bluer tones chorded -- *sigh* (hoping you two will duet again)(moth begging) "If you hear teardrops falling like rain on the rooftops ... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
(chuckling) Moth... the greeneyed one has to decide on that... but certainly glad you enjoyed... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
see ... me library is full of butterfly lovelies |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
needed to read this gem again. one drop, an ocean ... one seed, the forest ... one leaf, the wind ... |
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