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Open Poetry #28
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nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines

0 posted 2003-09-09 10:37 AM



Weighting
...
depressions show
the pillows
worn just so
the pounding
and turning of the night
the weighting
heavily of each day
feeling trampled upon

the body moves
bruised from thought
betrayed by words
that cling their fray
to harvest another ...
come-what-may.


"Love is not blind - It sees more and not less, but because it sees more, it is willing to see less."
(Will Moss)


[This message has been edited by nakdthoughts (09-09-2003 10:44 AM).]

© Copyright 2003 Wynter Bliss - All Rights Reserved
teenpoet
Member
since 2001-10-17
Posts 280
Michigan
1 posted 2003-09-09 10:38 AM


I like this.  It sounds...feels...I don't know.  I can't desribe it but you wrote it well.

Let go of your concept of reality and try mine for a while...then we'll see how long you last.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
2 posted 2003-09-09 10:39 AM


"come-what-may"

Sometimes it seems like that is all there is...

  

Susan

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
3 posted 2003-09-09 10:41 AM


Maureen, this one touched me...it hurts.  
Hugs to you, my friend  
Ethel

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
4 posted 2003-09-09 11:27 AM


I enjoyed this. I had to read it twice in order to understand how "weighting" fit into the poem. Enjoyed!
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
5 posted 2003-09-10 09:19 AM


teenpoet, Susan, Ethel thank you for reading and your kind responses.

Opeth...sometimes I make up words...in a way it is about "waiting" and the weight of it all....depression and the impressions made on my pillow from the thumping of it to make myself find an indentation that feels good...somehow thinking my thoughts would eventually find comfort.

Thank you

M

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