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Open Poetry #28
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The Synergy Of Synaptic Simile.......Duet with icebox
| Open Poetry #28 |
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The Synergy Of Synaptic Simile.......Duet with icebox |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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The Synergy Of Synaptic Simile Bring me your ocean with Atlantic moonlight's road paved in timeless sand, pathway to some other world. When the storms ride hard keeping the Valkyries’ pace, night becomes a home; the sand holds the key, there is no mystery in water or in heat, the winds rush before the building storm. Send me your Pacific thoughts of freedom’s gentle kiss that I may wrap it as a shell around me in the wind. I remember the way to Arizona, the map of air blistered, then blustered, eating skin with red rocks. Sweat salt encrusted shirts, broken axle roads, the paths of prayer draw me to Chaco memories; the sand holds the key in power paintings gently poured in song, then blown away before the building storm. Today I can stare into the blasted ruins of buildings laid out in patterns matching the Sun and Moon so simplistically that it seems as if they are the broken dreams of my own childhood, left behind for me to fix when time returns to clarity; I know exactly where the doors and missing walls belong. The sand holds the key. I can see the dances that bring the skies to life just as I see you stand before me, though transparent without shadows, reaching for my hand. Here the air is clear, the way is filled with layers taken again and again by time, dropped like separate footprints that have walked across the sky. The sand holds the key, making the fluid real and keenly woven in the moan of wind that takes it, we become the travelers’ touch. And underneath the flowing sky, the hum of old words leaking into every sunset, whispering to the snow along the ridges on the mountains of the gods, the sand holds the key unmoved by life's struggles in the valley cauldrons far below. Only time holds for the sea still memories dissolved in fluid folds, the sand holds the key blown in waves from you to me, wedged into time no sandstone lasts against the current’s conduit of silt and slide alive from winter’s storm and rage, trudged on feet across the pass, taking without thought the dreams of bones, the buildings like twigs, tossed and no longer home. Where then is the path of time, of the moon across the sea, sailing on the fluid memories? The sand holds the key. The soul’s reality, each particle a leaping stone as thoughts flow through the world and shimmer back from you to me. And to what purpose all this blowing about? Flowing in and out through spinning loops, until in time within the fires of life we draw essential sustenance simmered in emotion’s broth, the grit of our existence relaxes and is no longer left to chance. The sand holds the key unlocking all the boundaries, releasing all the burdens we’ve acquired over time, until in our thoughts and dreams our energies are at last unleashed to be souls linked and intertwined, and free to dance. I remember the way to Arizona, but now I see it fastened to my map in a different way, as if caught and tangled tumbleweeds straining to escape are at last blown free from the chain link and barbed wire laced across their destiny; to get there through the doors of time, after sailing all the moonlight’s highways in the sea, it has always been the sand that holds the key. [This message has been edited by Martie (09-08-2003 01:30 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Gorgeous! I can't tell which ball Gherig hit and which was whomped by The Babe, but it doesn't matter, because they're out of the park. I think I like this duet thing. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Brava! One of the best duets I have read here in a long time! Please gift us with your blending of pens more often. ~Hugs to you both, Nancy~ ~ Summer can't be over... |
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Ishmael Member
since 2003-06-01
Posts 51 |
This is of the finest kind Ish |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie You two are so cool I got a chill. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
The similtudes of structure were very effective in demonstrating the synergistic synapses inherent in this fascinating collaboration. lol Now I have to read my reply to make sure I understand it!   & EA |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A beautiful blending...thank you!  |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Excellent combo -- I knew your styles would meld.... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Great duet - loved the feel and the meter and the story - loved it all - Paul |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
James...Thanks for coming out to the ballpark and for the cheers. Nancy...Thank you for such a nice compliment..icebox did most of the work..I just had fun. Ishmael....Thank you. EA....A great reply! Made me smile.  Karilea...thanks, my friend. Ed....it was a comment of yours that got me thinking about the posibility..thanks! Paul....thankyou for taking the time to read..I know it's kind of long. I always appreciate your comments. icebox..thank you for gracing my poetic thoughts with those of your own. It was a pleasure to duet with you *grin*...I hope we can do it again.  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sy...oops, sorry I missed you...allow me to warm you up. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
MartieSisAndIcebox~ Magic penning ... the loveliest of dueting~ Too many uniquely special lines to single out just one~ Love the all of it~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
I just smiled all the way through this..that same giddy feeling i get when looking through the works of dali or the rennaisance masters [This message has been edited by Aenimal (09-08-2003 03:40 PM).] |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I'm dittoing Raffie on that one.. Amazing work. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Martie and Iceman, this is awesome. Very good writing, you two.  Hugs to you both Ethel |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I knew I was in for a treat when I read the names of the authors... and I wasn't disappointed. *S* This is excellent... May I play Oliver and ask "More, please?" *S* |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Today I can stare into the blasted ruins of buildings laid out in patterns matching the Sun and Moon so simplistically that it seems as if they are the broken dreams of my own childhood, left behind for me to fix when time returns to clarity; I know exactly where the doors and missing walls belong. The sand holds the key. I can see the dances that bring the skies to life just as I see you stand before me, though transparent without shadows, reaching for my hand. Here the air is clear, the way is filled with layers taken again and again by time, dropped like separate footprints that have walked across the sky. The sand holds the key, making the fluid real and keenly woven in the moan of wind that takes it, we become the travelers’ touch. And underneath the flowing sky, the hum of old words leaking into every sunset, whispering to the snow along the ridges on the mountains of the gods, the sand holds the key unmoved by life's struggles in the valley cauldrons far below. Only time holds for the sea still memories dissolved in fluid folds, the sand holds the key blown in waves from you to me, wedged into time no sandstone lasts against the current’s conduit of silt and slide alive from winter’s storm and rage, trudged on feet across the pass, taking without thought the dreams of bones, the buildings like twigs, tossed and no longer home. Where then is the path of time, of the moon across the sea, sailing on the fluid memories? The sand holds the key. The soul’s reality, each particle a leaping stone as thoughts flow through the world and shimmer back from you to me. ================================ the sand indeed holds the key...but when two exceptional poets hold court, pen and muse become the key to stunningly impressive poetry. A mere moth such as I lack words to tell you just how impressive. This goes into my library and will be printed out to read (and learn from) many times. When was the last time you felt this high, |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very well done!!!! No big surprise two poets such as you two would work well together..and no surprise this is a great piece of writing... but it is a joy..to read. I enjoyed! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Yay! Oh Icebox and Martie, this is just beautiful, sweet friend, I know of the visions you displayed together because I have been to Chaco Canyon, and I have seen the sunbeam move across the adobe walls, expressing the cycle of the years, and the whole syzygy of spiritual calm encircling the canyons! (big hugggsssssss) God Bless You, sweet friends, this is a classic I'm adding to my library, we all love you both so much! You have such beautiful hearts, sweet Martie and Icebox, thank you both for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you both! Love, Noah Eaton I don't need no proof when it comes to God and truth |
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Greeneyes
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
What a write!! AWESOME and moving.....in complete awe of such talent! hugssssX2 Lauren~ The way you move me |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Ahhhh fantastic! Both of you. A most beautiful blend indeed. keeping this. Maree fate is not just |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Okay...so I'm slow in replying, but it's only because I've been taking my time...absorbing this incredible write. I'm with Janet Marie...I simply don't have the words to do this justice. You two are so amazingly talented and I feel truly privileged to read you. Your words mesh together perfectly, as if from one soul. Simply beautiful... Hugs to both of you... If you judge people, you have no time to love them. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Thank you all for your comments on this duet. It is in my nature to not play well with others, but I was fascinated by the "life" this poem took on as it evolved. There is an old theory in the social sciences that early forms of proto-humans were not capable of abstract thought unless they were in direct contact with another of their species; it took at least two to think. I don't know if that theory really is valid for our primate ancestors, but it is clear to me that in writing a duet, when it works, one plus one equals more than two. Martie, thank you for your patience and your amazing open heart. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Smiling wide. Two of my faves--and this is just delightful. And ice? I'm sure Martie will back me up on this--you DO play well with others m'friend-- This is a joy to read. And I'm one of the lucky ones who have had the experience of writing with both of you on separate occasions, and I must say, you both made me comfortable (I was very initimidated at the prospect) And yes, Ice, I did indeed go unexpected places with both of you. (Doesn't Martie's spirit remind you of that of a deer? So gentle and graceful...) I'll shaddup now. Smile. I just came in to applaud. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Such a wonderful inner portrait, Martie. Especially loved: Today I can stare into the blasted ruins of buildings laid out in patterns matching the Sun and Moon so simplistically that it seems as if they are the broken dreams of my own childhood, left behind for me to fix when time returns to clarity; Core |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
This is a thousand poems within a poem~ and it shouldn't be missed by anyone. So I'm bumping ya...flower bouquets for you!!! Encore, encore!!! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
ooops [This message has been edited by BluesSerenade (09-30-2003 02:56 AM).] |
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