navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » the end is never as eloquent (a repost from somewhere I'm sure)
Open Poetry #28
Post A Reply Post New Topic the end is never as eloquent (a repost from somewhere I'm sure) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

0 posted 2003-08-31 10:55 PM


between you and I
there was this difference:

I wanted you
but didn't need you

you

you needed me
but didn't want me.

After

I needed you.

now it's just
your happiness
at any cost

Go

be you
and I'll just go somewhere
maybe Green Bay
or Cincinnati

where ever it is
I'll be less eloquent


© Copyright 2003 Local Rebel - All Rights Reserved
timothysangel1973
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725
Never close enough
1 posted 2003-08-31 11:14 PM


God Reb!  This is great!
This sounds so much like a story that I have lived, and surely told with another set of words.

"between you and I
there was this difference:

I wanted you
but didn't need you

you

you needed me
but didn't want me.

After

I needed you."

Ain't that the way it always goes?
(atleast for some of us anyway)

Loved this one Reb!

...been wondering where you were lately, guess you are like the rest of us...just living life, and sneaking in here after hours!...

xxoo
Tima

[This message has been edited by timothysangel1973 (08-31-2003 11:15 PM).]

Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
2 posted 2003-09-01 12:46 PM


I love your style.

Somehow things jump out at me from this screen..
Or maybe I'm hallucianating?

Either way, this is good.. goodness.. gooder..gooderer.. I like to slaughter the language at least once a day.

Thanks for this, saving it.

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
3 posted 2003-09-01 01:32 AM


sad sad sad

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
4 posted 2003-09-01 02:01 AM


between you and I
there was this difference:

I wanted you
but didn't need you

you

you needed me
but didn't want me.

After

I needed you.



Reb, this is really sad to me, too. If this was
from personal experience, I hope that things got better.
And that you found someone who wanted and needed
you at the  same time that you wanted and needed them.  
Hugs to you, Reb Hawke  
Ethel


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2003-09-01 12:58 PM


I love your writing, you know


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2003-09-01 01:06 PM


sad to say, c'est la vie

I can relate too well to this one.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2003-09-01 01:20 PM


Rebel

Seems this story is as old as time...but always feels new when it happens to you.  I always enjoy your poems and thoughts...interesting and uniquely you!

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
8 posted 2003-09-01 02:47 PM


Mann that just doesnt sound fair . . .
Reb?  beautiful writing though
always
xxoo

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
9 posted 2003-09-01 08:54 PM


Sometimes we just can't seem to get sychronized and are always one step ahead or behind... You've written it well, nephew. *S*
Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
10 posted 2003-09-01 11:13 PM


Ruth -- yep it truly gets difficult doesn't it?  Thanks

Littlewink -- all is fair... eh?  It was just what was.. thanks..

Martie -- *bow* -- the same old story --  yep me thanks you

Kacey -- kinda sad -- kinda not  -- thanks

Dixie -- yep, I know... and I'm glad -- thanks

Ethel -- well, no... some things just aren't meant to be but thanks for the warm thoughts and the hug..

Helen -- thank you -- I suppose it's how you look at it -- more in a sec..

Meg -- thank you muchly -- we never know where truth may hit us from

Tima -- I'm always surprised at how this simple little, non-complex, bit of words thrown together seems to resonate with people... it seems that when people bump into my site and read my poetry there this is the one that always seems to provoke a comment..

to all...

This really isn't as sad as some may find it though -- at least it isn't in my paradigm -- just two people walking away from each other when the relationship ran its' course -- if I may be allowed to quote myself -- me.. on Love

quote:

The End Game

It's always interesting to me that people tend to characterize the end of a relationship as a failed relationship and consider the last (x number of years) as wasted time or all just a 'lie' that didn't mean anything in a supposed attempt to get over it.  In reality this is self deprecating talk because it is saying about us -- even though the other person is the 'bad' guy the other person was really justified in dumping us because we are too pathetic to be able to discern fantasy from reality and lack the basic self esteem to take control of the situation and dump the other person first.

My question is -- why is it wasted time? I'm sure there was a point in the relationship when things got so bad that one or both really needed to make a move to get out of it -- and probably some of that time was wasted -- but, was all the joy at the beginning wasted time? Just because two people have gone as far as they can with a relationship and one has decided that moving forward is not possible does that make the initial attraction and affection just a lie?

Sometimes the one that knows the relationship has to come to an end doesn't want to make a move -- so they do things to precipitate a breakup by the other person to avoid being the 'bad guy' -- and then unfortunate things happen up to the point of cheating and affairs.

This is all painful stuff I know -- but -- wouldn't it be better to focus on the positive things -- like (x years) were really good -- and this other person chose me -- from everyone else available -- to spend this time with ? And -- I now know a lot more about relationships and giving and receiving love and I'll be ready to share myself again someday and THAT person is going to be really lucky to have me because of who I am and the things I've been through in my life.

I think women tend to take breakups harder than men because of a misplaced value that still exists in our society on female virginity -- and that is really, really, sad.

I may want to look for a one-owner car if I'm buying a used vehicle -- but if I'm picking a life mate I want one that is at least as reasonably mature (and that means in life experience) as am I (I don't want to raise one -- I have children to raise) and knowing her way around in the bedroom would be a bonus as well.

There is no reason to consider any relationship wasted time -- every one is a gift -- because you did have good times together and you now have the benefits and wisdom of that relationship to grow with and move on to the relationship that will be 'right' for you.

Bear in mind though -- every relationship comes to an end in some way or another.




from my essay on Love at my site: http://www.geocities.com/nighthawke700/love.htm

angelblueyes
Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148
Oklahoma
11 posted 2003-09-02 12:32 PM


Yes, I so hear your thoughts.All come to an end and even though it may not be a good end, we learn from these relationships, apply them to the future ones, and move forward still trying to find what we believe to be the ultimate happiness.It is question's unnswered, but the path that we seem to follow again and again.I so enjoy reading your thoughts.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2003-09-02 06:21 AM


Understanding
both sides

but somehow
you remained
eloquent
and
elegant.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
13 posted 2003-09-02 08:38 AM


Let me say first, I really enjoyed the writing...

Now:

"I think women tend to take breakups harder than men because of a misplaced value that still exists in our society on female virginity"

I had a guy once tell me that he didn't expect a virgin but he didn't want a female that had more than a few men.  I looked at him and said "Well, if there weren't so many men like you that let us see your TRUE colors AFTER we sleep with you we wouldn't have so many past lovers."  (I called him a name after that but it's not for my virgin pages of blue to hear).

Reb~Now about that next relationship for you...



Susan

Brad Majors
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
14 posted 2003-09-02 08:58 AM


awesome lr
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

15 posted 2003-09-02 09:44 AM


there is eloquence in even the most painful or tiring things... your simple phrasing here shows us no matter where you might end up..it would be no less eloquent.

enjoyed this bud.. perhaps understood it too well.. but enjoyed it none the less


MorninGlory
Member
since 2003-08-30
Posts 175
Oklahoma
16 posted 2003-09-18 10:37 AM


This is wonderful, so true of the end, never as eloquent as the beginning. I find it easy to write about the good part, but very difficult to write about moving on. Maybe I just want to forget that part. I'm too sentimental I guess, and when I feel hurt, I want to go to a safe place inside, and the words just don't come. Perhaps someday I can tap into that. I like your style very much, and will look for more.

~ becky

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
17 posted 2003-09-18 11:48 AM


"Bear in mind though -- every relationship comes to an end in some way or another"


and bare
in mind
not a sad ending
after all
LOL

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #28 » the end is never as eloquent (a repost from somewhere I'm sure)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary