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Open Poetry #28

Footsteps ReVamp

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2003-08-31 03:22 PM

In the stone,
Lost in some mountain crumble
Without rain
Just cold snow on tips of white
Yet thunder endless rumble
And footsteps
Move with constantly stumble
Till mountain
Turns to sand;
While I slide
On the ground that is shifting
Go aimless
As burning sun turns to night
Within the random drifting
And footsteps
Are no longer fit for lifting
Till the sand
Turns to sea;
By water
The creeps close to my laying,
And soulless
All my spirit become a blight
To battered for last praying
Far too parched
For any words now saying
And footsteps
Come to end
In still wind;
Between the mixed blue and blue
Listless cloth
Bleached like clouds of pure white
No passing but coming to
My stillness
Where exhausting walk did spew
They drop sail
On my trail
Of footsteps;
Carry my tired body in
Below deck
Wrapping my blisters just right
As unfurling catches wind
And travel
Goes where ever breezes send
Without steps.

Gloom
I have rewritten this to lessen the morose feel of the ending
by request

angelblueyes
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2148
Oklahoma

1 posted 2003-08-31 04:46 PM

Even revamped I still feel your pain in this.I read youo wether pained or happy, because it shows your thoughts, your views, and your dreams.You are who you are and I like you for you.A very deep write that drew me into the being of this write.
Crystal

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

2 posted 2003-08-31 07:48 PM

Thank you, angelblueyes,
You are very kind in your praise
It pleases me you enjoyed this.

Gloom

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