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Birthdays and Photographs
| Open Poetry #28 |
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Birthdays and Photographs |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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Birthdays and Photographs I sat staring, still the sting of want waiting for him to smile through crossed arms and tattoos that tore the skin. Even as they sang happy birthday he refused to play pretend through childhood eyes vilifying lies with the truth that I was a mistake. But the cake stood tall as the glee of cousins and classmates permeated the walls covering the blood stains and sorrow screams from the times he slammed my mother and I into the edge of insanity. She grinned at me as the gold from her ring reflected the sacrifice of a woman and how a child would become their hate of putting things on hold and settling for less. The children yelled 'surprise' and laughed my innocence as I blew out hope's flame wishing for the prince who would save me from this. The icing strutted sepia smooth as little fingers snuck a sample still giggling after he called me stupid slapping my face with the TV guide though the lick of lips verified how chocolate never tasted so good. I wasn't humiliated all sense of dignity I once owned was lost years ago as I clutched the balloon that held it's breath with disappointment ready to burst like pinata poured pain. The way he chomped his gum heiling beneath his Hitler mustache was enough to unnerve me synchronizing the way he watched through black pupils like a tiger ready to pounce it's prey forewarning in it's calm of what tortures he may bring. 'I love you, Daddy' I said in my attempt for escape but he got his smug satisfaction by deflating my balloon with his cigarette while his hockey teammate spit beer in my face. I don’t think I ever cried harder in my life. The camera flash molested the moment capturing the quickly dried tears and newspaper print on cheek forced to pose happiness imposter in white dress, a reminder of how ugly I am. I was allowed to hold the Polaroid waving the mediocre hues back and forth until the image grew brave. My mother boasted like a rooster cocking it's body through the dirt as the other mothers agreed 'such a pretty girl.' Now I know why I hate photographs how the false light steals your soul and marks the permanence of hurt. I am the sacrifice of a woman how a child would become hate of putting things on hold and settling for less reliving the same cycle; and the prince who popped my core is the same as he breaking in my dreams with false promises piercing deep to die since the day daddy popped my balloon. I still have that picture. Melissa Long-Monette |
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| © Copyright 2003 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this is beyond painful.... |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
melissa...this just breaks me...please KNOW i hold you...in my heart...and we are not weak...we are strong...helen |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Oh my...Melissa...this is so painful and yet so beautifully expressed. It births a mixture of teardrops and awe... Love and hugs to you, my friend,  ~Vicky "My friends are my estate." |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
Oh ... my ... Words are small and trite, but ... I swallowed my breath. I pray peace for you, and salute your courage. And your talent. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
As ever, you write the heart-hurt well, and draw an etching on one's soul that will not fade over time, much unlike the photograph, that does fade, over time.  Thank you, Melybee, for taking the impossible acts, and realizing that everyone needs to learn through others...  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Melissa, These are the pillars of you life, you must walk between them. wonderful write. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Oh Melissa, how horrible. And how beautiful a poem, the way you show the pain in all its unwavering detail. SO sorry if you experienced this. Sandra [This message has been edited by catalinamoon (08-31-2003 09:43 AM).] |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Melissa, What a master piece. You have made the reader feel the horror and sorrow of both the child and the woman.... Susan |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
This aches through blood and bone. You are strength Melissa, it's in your writing, it's in how you carry yourself. To have lived through this and still be the beautiful, intelligent,amazing friend that you are is testament to the strength of human spirit. ~Nolites tes bastardes carborundorum~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Malissa...as I read this the song...Who left the cake out in the rain" was going through my mind...so powerful and deeply, touchingly sad. Heart hugs to you! |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Melissa - you write with such pain, yet I can relate to what you write, I can relate well... BC |
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angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
As I read this I shed many  for I felt your heartache and pain.It reminded me of my childhood pains, but I also remember that now I am a woman full of life and full of such great things.I hear and feel in your write the pains of the past, but I also feel the strengths of the future you hold.You are an a angelic spirit, a wondrous heart, and an inspirational soul.Hold tight to all that you believe and fly with purity of the dove.Healing hugs to you my friend Crystal |
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