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Open Poetry #28
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Biology
| Open Poetry #28 |
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Biology |
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Eromyna Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306Pheonix, AZ, USA 
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Body is the image is the object is the cage Spirit is the fire is the fuel it is the rage Soul is the surreal the intangible profane "I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation." |
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| © Copyright 2003 Shay D. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wandering glider Senior Member
since 2001-04-04
Posts 501aloft |
Oh, I like this, or . . . if you don't mind another point of view, the last verse could be: Soul is the real the tangible sustained w.g. |
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eminor_angel Member
since 2003-05-22
Posts 323Canada |
you have such consistent structure in the first two stanzas that it's kind of jarring when you break it in the third ei. no "it is" and the last line doesn't rhyme with the other two last lines of each stanza. Nice read though. |
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Eromyna Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 306Pheonix, AZ, USA |
Interesting change of perspective. Thanks for mentioning it. As far as the structure changing, I can probably work on that. This one just sorta spilled out this way. "I don't need to scream for you to deem me aggravation." |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I like this..a lot. *bumpity bump* |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
ditto. I like this too :-) Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Eromyna Enjoyed the reads. |
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TexUS Member
since 2003-03-20
Posts 228 |
Much said in this---Awesome read-thanks! |
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