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Open Poetry #28
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I was lucky & you a rose
| Open Poetry #28 |
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I was lucky & you a rose |
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lucky Senior Member
since 2000-01-17
Posts 1601Idaho 
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I was lucky & you a rose despair is why I had to leave but the trouble with leaving is staying away so long that it makes the spirit ache your dancin' like a gypsy surviving on Spam and I the hippy smokin' a ride into Tucson lookin' for a peace train got to watch your step yer running out of time standing on the boulevard underneath a Wool Worths sign eating a bacon lettuce tomato trying to blend in pressin' a rhyme between the vellum of foreign parchment down at the fisherman's wharf the market hums & a ferry runs into a foamy strait I guess we kinda burnt the candle a little low didn’t see which way to go down those old hotel corridors hoping to start a flame ‘cause we lost the one we had I was lucky and you a rose Speaking of ghosts, wouldn't you know here comes mine again... |
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| © Copyright 2003 Dale W. Gwaltney - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Dale, my friend...I always enjoy going down the path of your words....sort of like watching a piece of your movie, and in color! |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
I really dig this, a lot. I'm saving it, if you don't mind. |
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RomanticPoet Junior Member
since 2003-08-25
Posts 34Florida USA |
Quite Interesting; I enjoyed it, the lack of punctuation or an extra space beteen line breaks kept me busy, no breathing space there. but content was wonderful. We Feel,We Write,We learn; We Write More |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
I really like this write for all the raw emotion, and then for the artistic visual design of it, too. And then, do you think she realizes what she has lost? ~K~ [This message has been edited by Kahlil (08-29-2003 12:18 AM).] |
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