When your love first came to town

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Open Poetry #28

When your love first came to town

jennirey
Member

since 2002-01-24

Posts 198
North Richland HillsTx

0 posted 2003-08-21 07:29 PM

I remember the days when I floated on air
When your smile could paint my sky
When our love was new and fresh my dear
I lived in a constant sigh
Colors were grand and vibrant
Nothing could bring me down

Trinkets and flowers and a few lines of prose
French Vanilla coffee and a kiss on the nose
I was your sweetness I was so fond of this.
This pedestal treatment, was my bliss

But now?
Your smile is slow to come
Disappointments and struggles muddy up our fun
Life has become less than grand
Love has settled on to a familiar ground
And I've slowly floated back down
I want to feel that feeling again
It so hard to fight this frown
I miss that girl who I was when your love first came to town.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

1 posted 2003-08-21 07:36 PM

jennirey . . . I know I miss that person too . . .
nice write
xxoo

gringakiwi
Member

since 2003-08-05

Posts 189

2 posted 2003-08-21 07:39 PM

I miss the excitement and suspense as well. I think you portrayed it very well, and it makes me feel so nostalgic!!

angelblueyes
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2148
Oklahoma

3 posted 2003-08-21 09:38 PM

I hear you and feel you in this write.
Crystal

the_loner_23
Member Ascendant

since 2002-06-08

Posts 5479
Jacksonville, Florida, USA

4 posted 2003-08-21 10:48 PM

I know the feeling. Awesome write.

Cold hands means a warm heart

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

5 posted 2003-08-21 11:02 PM

*
~ ~ fabulous penning ~ ~
*

aran
Junior Member

since 2003-05-18

Posts 34

6 posted 2003-08-21 11:04 PM

The rhyming is done in a well-done off-hand fassion that seems natural. It makes the poem flow and pushes forward the message beyond what the words are conveying.

Very much enjoyed.

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