You Should Consider Looking For A More Steady Man

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icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2003-08-17 09:15 PM

On the walls of Fort Charlotte
in New Providence Bay,
I search the mute stars
for some way to share
with you
the awareness
of how my life sails,
free on the tides of little intrigues.
I thought of the pirates
of centuries past
turned back by these walls,
the way analogy fails.
The huge cannon balls,
the fire and muskets,
how the cutlass could rend,
I wondered which sides
I'd been on by the end.
I can't explain
where I'm going,
or been;
you offer me love
I offer you sin.
I'll appear
like a sail on the horizon,
at dawn,
then you might turn around
and I'm suddenly gone.
I can't even say
I prefer being alone
I'm just an old pirate ship
with no anchor stone.

©2003 by icebox

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

1 posted 2003-08-17 09:17 PM

simply perfect poetry throughout and the end is magnificent me matey

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2003-08-17 09:29 PM

Open, honest, sincere..and much enjoyed!
Love your style.
~Hugs~

~The breeze that kissed you on the face,
Has held me in the same embrace~

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

3 posted 2003-08-17 09:37 PM

Great imagery, and great words. This adds an entirely new side to being reflective on one's life.
terrific write.

We are all equal but we’re individually different
and able to reach the impossible if we try.

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

4 posted 2003-08-17 11:01 PM

icey . . .

I can't explain
where I'm going,
or been;
you offer me love
I offer you sin.

This stands alone as the most perfect stanza I have ever read
Set sail, Cap'n . . .
xxoo

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

5 posted 2003-08-17 11:22 PM

An excellent write...hmmm...Reminds me of someone I know - correction, someone I knew.

I think I have to read this a few more times.

I enjoyed the verse and the memory you brought to mind.

Patricia

1slick_lady
Member Ascendant

since 2000-12-22

Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace

6 posted 2003-08-18 12:38 PM

I can't explain
where I'm going,
or been;
"you offer me love
I offer you sin.
I'll appear
like a sail on the horizon,
at dawn,
then you might turn around
and I'm suddenly gone.
I can't even say
I prefer being alone"

wow...h

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

7 posted 2003-08-18 02:11 AM

you offer me love
I offer you sin.
I'll appear
like a sail on the horizon,
at dawn,
then you might turn around
and I'm suddenly gone.

Well, Iceman.....at least you're honest
about it and not building up false hope!! LOL

Hugs

Ethel

MoniDaPoet
Member

since 2003-08-14

Posts 73
California, USA

8 posted 2003-08-18 02:27 AM

Very well penned and great imagery!

I have only my genius to declare!

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

9 posted 2003-08-18 04:14 AM

I second that "wow" up there.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

10 posted 2003-08-18 11:30 AM

Icy~

You know this reminded me of my Navy days! Going out on the deck while underway...salt spraying in my face...watching everyone else get sick and laughing at them...ah yes those were the days.

I understood this piece and loved it.

Susan

[This message has been edited by Susan Caldwell (08-18-2003 01:19 PM).]

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

11 posted 2003-08-18 12:35 PM

Excellent poem - great 'wrap-up' lines.

CG

S Arthur Grey
Senior Member

since 2001-03-19

Posts 719
woven by a poet's loom

12 posted 2003-08-18 03:06 PM

Nice, ya pirate!

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

13 posted 2003-08-18 03:09 PM

*smiles and nods* lovely indeed...

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

14 posted 2003-08-18 03:35 PM

"you offer me love
I offer you sin."

I'll take that offer!

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Robert Frazier
Senior Member

since 2003-02-06

Posts 1014

15 posted 2003-08-18 03:40 PM

gritty, salty ole tale of truth. Enjoyed the imagery and soul of the message.

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

16 posted 2003-08-18 04:31 PM

Hey you old reprobate....a cupple of drinks, a few smokes and the right kinda drug...I'm as steady as anyone....good write..as all of your's are..

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