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Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2003-08-16 12:23 PM

Rest thy heart, my mind does say
to quell the fear of battle nigh.
As warriors gather on this day
to hear the battle’s chilling cry.

A shield and sword, a mighty heart
A glint of eye and sharpened steel.
A soul most brave, the waited start
of what is dreamt, of what is real.

To swing the blade, to face the foe
To walk one’s path to destiny.
To march the moor, to wield the blow.
To charge head high, still wild, still free.

For in the blood of warring men
pride is flowing a molten fire.
Though all will war and few will win
their fight is fought with pure desire.

[This message has been edited by Magnus (08-16-2003 12:34 PM).]

MoniDaPoet
Member

since 2003-08-14

Posts 73
California, USA

1 posted 2003-08-16 12:30 PM

I'm sure Mr. Shakespear and you are distant cousins. Aside from the use of Old English, you have a very Shakespearean tone to this piece, which I can appreciate. I would like to see you focus on other subject matter more relavent to the immediate world around you, of course, using this same style. Oh and I would suggest you fix the typos. With that said - great read!

I have only my genius to declare!

[This message has been edited by MoniDaPoet (08-16-2003 12:31 PM).]

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

2 posted 2003-08-16 12:37 PM

Nice having the pleasure of your review. And for
the record....Shakespeare ends with an e.

This very much relates to the world around
me in the present tense,  though expressed
in an olden way.   And I did unscramble the
two words that were not separated by a space.  Once you become more familiar with
my writings,  you will see that I can write
varying themes and styles.  Glad you enjoyed.

[This message has been edited by Magnus (08-16-2003 01:04 PM).]

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

3 posted 2003-08-16 12:41 PM

Magnus . . .
such insight
not only did this remind me medieval
times . . . it reminded me of what we go through every single day . . .
battling or attempting to -
this thing called LIFE
brilliant
xxoo

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2003-08-16 03:04 PM

Magnus~

'As warriors gather on this day
to hear the battle’s chilling cry.'

Oh ... this is so real~
I can almost hear the arrows whizzing by~

You pen such marvelous poetry, my friend~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

5 posted 2003-08-16 03:21 PM

To swing the blade, to face the foe
To walk one’s path to destiny.
*******************************

Great line... I usually don't like "rhyming" poetry (not that it isn't good, it's just not my bag), however this one is very, very well done. You should be proud, Sir.

We are all equal but we’re individually different
and able to reach the impossible if we try.

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

6 posted 2003-08-16 04:21 PM

To swing the blade, to face the foe
To walk one’s path to destiny.
To march the moor, to wield the blow.
To charge head high, still wild, still free.

Yes, this is it..the spirited words I shall carry in my mind. In my times of weary, I will recall the spirit of these words...and I will press on head high, wild eyed, and FREE!

Thanks Barry. I needed this wonderful write today.

Patricia

CastleGuard
Senior Member

since 2003-04-30

Posts 760
Alberta, Canada

7 posted 2003-08-18 03:30 PM

Darn, almost missed this one.

As for me, I feel your poetry is very related to the present, and / or timeless issues, albeit a lot of it may be wrapped in a classical 'wrapper'.

Thoroughly enjoyed this one, Magnus. I hope you keep on creating such gems, as this one, (though I say this with a grain of selfishness on my part

).

Long live rhyme and meter!!!

CG

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