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Open Poetry #27
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The fall
| Open Poetry #27 |
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The fall |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn 
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She stood framed in the window Watching the city below As it went about its business Occasionally splashing her With its colors She had said, she was a stranger here Her pale beauty and gentle way Attested to that But, there she stood In this nicotine painted And whiskey-fragranced room Marveling at the mundane around her She had said, she just dropped into town And wouldn’t be able to stay But, she was here now Fresh out of bed All legs and warmth and murmured pleas So, I watched her watching While I toyed absentmindedly With a feather and her badly bent halo And recalled her saying That she was looking for something And never said what But, what she had found Seems to have been me [This message has been edited by wranx (06-21-2003 03:21 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very cool write! and maybe she'll stay? |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
And that's a good thing...to find. This is so nice wranx~ I take it, it's warming up down by the river? I hope so, for your sake. |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
i am sure it is...h |
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brian sites Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475usa |
well and aint that a damn shame....  yes........ this is classicwranx.... a beauty |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
wranx, Sensitivity has its own view, well done. |
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dreambuilder Member
since 2003-03-23
Posts 319caddyshack |
Poor poor girl must have fallen pretty hard when she bent that halo in a smoke filled room with a poet & whiskey run run away - lol good write wranx make sure its real & not the whiskey lol her name may be bob |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
'But, there she stood In this nicotine painted And whiskey-fragranced room Marveling at the mundane around her' You've captured something in this Ed, that I've tried many times to get into words. And if I ever wanted to steal a verse, it's the one I quoted...lol. Really glad I stopped for the read! It played perfectly in video too.  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
But, there she stood In this nicotine painted And whiskey-fragranced room Marveling at the mundane around her She had said, she just dropped into town And wouldn’t be able to stay But, she was here now Fresh out of bed All legs and warmth and murmured pleas So, I watched her watching While I toyed absentmindedly With a feather and her badly bent halo ==================================== looks to me like she found a soft place to fall... love the tenderness and quiet adoration in this poet sir.. me thinks there will be further inspirations to come.  No matter what the differences |
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skyshine 
since 2002-02-07
Posts 3058Beneath the northern stars |
Sometimes you find the best things unexpectedly!  ~Elizabeth Dreams last for so long, even after you're gone... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Gentle yeti? She had to be looking for you, because the yeti is notoriously difficult to find...unless he wants to be.  |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
And you found her too...great read as always.. believe in what your heart feels... |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
you really know how to honor a moment, and another's soul |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
wranx What she came for..the way you saw her with your heart, makes me think that you are most worthy. |
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Second Self Junior Member
since 2003-05-15
Posts 15 |
Hey, this is realy good! Really! Got a book deal yet? |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Thanks all! This is only a reflection of someone from a long time back. I just dressed her in feathers. Ed |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
excellent write ed, been awhile since you've graced the blue or i'm blind..could be a combo |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
I love your style, always.... This gets me: So, I watched her watching While I toyed absentmindedly With a feather and her badly bent halo And recalled her saying That she was looking for something And never said what But, what she had found Seems to have been me |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
The write does not lie in what she seeks it lies in what you seek . . . xxoo |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Ed...this is lovely...your heart is showing. I enjoyed this. Hugs, ~Vicky "My friends are my estate." |
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Velociraptor1 Junior Member
since 2003-07-23
Posts 14Australia |
She is a lucky lady Some terrific phrases you have penned m'friend and the imagery is smashing. Maree |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
ooops Daniel forgot to sign out :shrug: She is a lucky lady Some terrific phrases you have penned m'friend and the imagery is smashing. Maree fate is not just |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"But what she had found seems to have been me." I like the way you wrote this...James |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
A wonderful treasure she found in you, Ed Special. Beautifully written. ~Tier |
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Gina Culliney Member
since 2003-03-08
Posts 170 |
Hauntingly profound and very soul provocative indeed. |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
This is awesome. Love every word. Chris "At one glance |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
And recalled her saying That she was looking for something And never said what But, what she had found Seems to have been me I love this, Ed. Yep, I'll bet she found what she was looking for.  Hugs  Ethel |
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walker Member Elite
since 2001-02-11
Posts 2240Florida |
Loved it. |
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