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Open Poetry #27
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icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2003-06-21 01:07 AM



I should have met you in Paris,
on the Metro
at midnight,
when it was raining;
instead of watching you
walk through my door,
a shiny new propeller head
freshly out of training
as my technical consultant,
or some such nonsense from the blue.
My gods, are you allowed to know
I've got boots older than you?

Why do you blush so deeply,
suddenly
when we speak
you cross your legs,
tightly
you fidget in your seat
as if the chair,
on which you lightly perch,
is moving underneath you
without allowing you control
when I ask if you can tweak my system,
just a bit,
to make it do what it was made to do.

We were speaking of a task,
a bit of work
at best a boring chore,
that either could be done
or be ignored;
sitting close
I watched your pupils dilate,
your delicate bow of upper lip
tremble with the weight
of troubling thoughts
as you hesitate,
in the middle of a word.

You seem to lose your train of thought,
then pick it up a few stops back.
Was it something that I said?
Is there something I should know?
Or, have I just mis-read
the flashed repeating messages
showing in your eyes
as subtle as a cloud writer
littering my sky?

©2003 by icebox

© Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved
Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
1 posted 2003-06-21 01:12 AM


You are indeed a naughty man....well done, sir!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2003-06-21 01:12 AM


Well.

Smile.

Now I know why YOU can't sleep.

This is the kind of thing that keeps a man up at night.

OH SOMEBODY STOP ME...

I don't mean to make light of the artistry of this with my jokes either. As always, you stun me with your ability. (see? I just type that stuff--sigh.)

Loved the poem.




Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
3 posted 2003-06-21 01:21 AM


grinned through this..questions questions
Edder
Senior Member
since 2003-04-02
Posts 671

4 posted 2003-06-21 01:29 AM


seems i've made a career of misreading these messages. acting on the ones i shouldn't, ignoring the ones i should. enjoyed

[This message has been edited by Edder (06-21-2003 01:50 AM).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2003-06-21 01:59 AM


Yes, for sure...seems like she got you going a little bit...James
Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
6 posted 2003-06-21 02:09 AM


Can't really live up to the awesome replies..but I must say, I love your style.
1slick_lady
Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088
standing on a shadow's lace
7 posted 2003-06-21 02:36 AM


"I watched your pupils dilate,
your delicate bow of upper lip
tremble with the weight
of troubling thoughts
as you hesitate,
in the middle of a word."

...have to love a man with an eye for detail...h

CastleGuard
Senior Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 760
Alberta, Canada
8 posted 2003-06-21 02:51 AM



Questions?

Hmmm, methinks...she thinks...

...perhaps you should try new shoes....

Or not.



CG

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2003-06-21 03:18 AM


very cool write ice! what a way you have with words!
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2003-06-21 11:33 PM


icebox....a small piece of time to have filled with so much observation.  Enjoyed!
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

11 posted 2003-06-21 11:45 PM


"Or, have I just mis-read
the flashed repeating messages
showing in your eyes
as subtle as a cloud writer
littering my sky?"

Had to smile at this ice.  You do have a way of painting a moment...

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
12 posted 2003-06-23 12:50 PM


Oh yeah how easy it is to mis-read...how open to interpretation the signals given...classy this...
Midnitesun
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Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
13 posted 2003-06-23 12:58 PM


Hmm. Skywriters at night....
Maybe let those lights glow a few more times, to make sure you're on the same wavelength.
You have a wonderful way of capturing the tiniest details, the most elemental emotional moments.

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
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In Your Poetic Mind
14 posted 2003-06-23 01:49 PM


I love how you write!!!


L~

Brad Majors
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since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647
Georgia
15 posted 2003-06-23 01:51 PM


amazing
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2003-06-23 02:11 PM



I want to say "tease!" but I won't...
for the intricacy of this is delicate,
and leaves a hint of a gentle man
there,
in the clouds.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
17 posted 2003-06-23 03:34 PM


The title makes me wonder about what you mean...but I will leave your demons alone..I have enough of my own...

Loved the write, as I always do.  

Susan C.

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
18 posted 2003-06-23 10:32 PM


Ratleader ~ Well...yeah. *grin*

serenity blaze ~ Nope, that's not why!

Aenimal ~ *grin* (no, I didn't - I was a good boy)

Edder ~ I feel the same way.  Now I just keep looking around for women who have a Santa fetish.

JamesMichael ~ *smile* just enough to notice.

Kaoru ~ Thank you very much for reading and for taking time to comment.

1slick_lady ~ Well, the devil IS in the details! *laugh*

CastleGuard ~ I think I might have been wearing new shoes that day.  Maybe that was it?

passing shadows ~ Thank you for the compliment.

Martie ~ Well, I knew that observation was all I was going to have. *smile*

Duncan ~ Why thank you, Sir!

Paula Finn ~ Well...yes, it is easy to mis-read.  I almost gave up reading because of that (or was I just going blind?). *grin*

Midnitesun ~ *laugh* When I was young, I tried to figure out a substance that would glow in the sky for use with sky writers at night.  Never found anything that wasn't toxic though.  Thank you for your compliment.

Greeneyes ~ Thank you very much.  I love green eyes! *smile*

Brad Majors ~ *laugh* The only appropriate response to that is : DUDE!

Sunshine ~ Thank you.  Teasing can be a harsh blade.  Though I admit, it can be fun with the right people.

Susan Caldwell ~ Oh, no mystery in the title.  I have often thought that if I was a person pure of heart, I would never mis-interpret another's intentions.  Of course, in my case, that has to remain idle speculation.  *grin*

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
19 posted 2003-06-24 05:25 AM



Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
20 posted 2008-08-12 11:03 PM


HA! I enjoyed it


ARCTIC WIND

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