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Old_Shoe_New_Laces
Junior Member

since 2003-06-16

Posts 31

0 posted 2003-06-17 08:54 PM

'Replications'

I squint my eyes as you
cross your legs
from east to west.

We have arrived
somewhere in time, amongst
a desert, near a jungle,
at a gas station, next door
to a liquor store, next door
to an adobe hut with a clothes line and
three dirty children standing out front.

They scratch their necks
with stunted fingers and
stare into the sun with
black wet eyes,
concered with something
north or
south of us.

We are
somewhere in America
open and exposed
like cactus blossoms
caught somewhere
between the wind and
carbon deposits.

I think of you and
the red dress you wore
the day you
stepped off that bus.

The sky
everywhere empty and
the sun
closer
than before.

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

1 posted 2003-06-17 08:58 PM

I'm honestly at a loss for words, but I'll cover that up with making that the first thing I say. This poem has great power, somehow I was kind of into it before I finished the second line. I really enjoyed it to the core,

Thanks!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2003-06-17 09:08 PM

this is a very cool write...
creative and unique imagery and personifications..love the last verse's impact.
Welcome to Poetry Land..nice to have you here with us. I will keep an eye out for more of your impressive work.

No matter what the differences
No matter what the cost
When words become our weapons ...
All that's beautiful is lost.

DeVante'

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

3 posted 2003-06-18 01:15 PM

wow...

Cpat Hair

Member Patricius

since 2001-06-05

Posts 11793

4 posted 2003-06-19 08:47 AM

well done..the imagery is strong the use of words compact, concise and select...

enjoyed this... a great deal.

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

5 posted 2003-06-19 08:55 AM

fantastic writing

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

6 posted 2008-02-23 12:06 PM

love the name!

ARCTIC WIND

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