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Open Poetry #27

Unbalanced

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2003-06-16 08:17 PM

I am like
a character without any
distinguishing characteristics.
I am like
a paper doll without any
color or old fashioned clothing.
Like
A storm without a rainbow.
Or a jockey without a horse.
And I loved you
like a priest loves an athiest,
like a flower loves a destructive foot.
I carry up hill, my hands full of water.

Your mouth gets dryer as I curse
the unbalanced ground below me.

Ratleader

Member Rara Avis

since 2003-01-23

Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass

1 posted 2003-06-16 08:22 PM

.....An entertaining juxtaposition of the normal and the bizarre.....or, to put it more succinctly, Wow!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Laqe
Member

since 2003-06-15

Posts 72
Michigan, US

2 posted 2003-06-16 08:25 PM

I love this, it's very original.
It can be taken different ways, too.. That can help a poem stand the test of time, if it can be uniquely interpretted. Very nice.

.Echo.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

3 posted 2003-06-16 08:27 PM

Excellent contrasts here...much enjoyed.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
dancing with you in the summer rain~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2003-06-17 03:32 AM

cool write!

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

5 posted 2008-02-06 09:54 PM

Enjoyed the Write K

ARCTIC WIND

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