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Open Poetry #27

Hawk

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

0 posted 2003-07-30 02:11 AM

Seize me by the nape of neck
And carry me away
Safely in your talon grip
Soaring, to the skies

Skies beyond the world I view
I want to see the truth
Seize me please, and lift me up
And take me to that place

Place your eyes upon me now
Enfold me in your wings
With watchful, piercing, hawkish eyes
Your love will be released

Released to him the nape of neck
That carried him away
The world was safely in his grip
Before I turned away

Velociraptor1
Junior Member

since 2003-07-23

Posts 14
Australia

1 posted 2003-07-30 03:39 AM

I liked how this rhymed

Daniel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

2 posted 2003-07-30 04:25 AM

wow, nice ending

Sunnyone
Member Ascendant

since 2000-07-06

Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England

3 posted 2003-07-30 06:17 AM

I really appreciated the thoughts in this poem, and then I noticed the form it took from verse to verse, how it carried over from last word to first...Excellent!!!! Sometimes poetry is not just the thoughts put to pen, but the shape that they take...~~S~~

Accept these small gifts from my gypsy heart ~~S~~

cusick
Senior Member

since 2003-07-27

Posts 668

4 posted 2003-07-30 08:13 AM

How wonderful to be able to fly with the hawk. Perhaps you shouldn't have turned away. Now you will never know. Excellent poem. Maggie

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