Open Poetry #27 |
Longs Peak |
Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
The sky touched the mountain where we tread An early start and with some dread Finished sun crept over the peak The path sent up the mountain The climbers stepped the path The wind careened off the clouds Rocks grew and blocked paths Flowers stood along the path Night started the climb Fog caressed the keyhole Breath gasped and feet cried Small lights found the path Three climbed and searched Light imagined the mountain Time held us and showed the way Days end breathless and bent Soft victory Emotions spent Life’s thrill and family deed Softening light meeting a need |
||
© Copyright 2003 Paul Tofte - All Rights Reserved | |||
Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Paul...this is fantastic! I felt as though I were part of the party climbing this mountain. Extremely well done and so good to read you again!!! ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~The breeze that kissed you on the face, |
||
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Hi Paul "Light imagined the mountain Time held us and showed the way" I love those lines...sounds like you had a great experience. Thanks for sharing it with this poem. I hope you took pictures? |
||
Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Paul So many wonderful images were portrayed through your words which were so very much enjoyed. It's so nice to see you here again, I have missed your smiling face. I haven't been posting much lately as I have been busy with other things in my life so my writing has had to take a back seat. I hope you are well. Take care......Sue I am in motion |
||
passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
what a scene you painted...I felt like I was there...and want to go back |
||
Goodknight Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386Ohio, USA |
Thanks everyone for your comments - it was a special time for me my son and his wife as we climb Longs Peak in Rocky Mountain State Park in CO. We made it to the keyhole and the fog turned us away then. Amazing time and it is a very special place - thansk again for reading and commenting on my pome - Paul |
||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Sounds beautiful. Nice to see you. Sandra |
||
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Sitting here sipping the almost-last of this bottle of Old South wine, and trying to think which part of this poem hit me the hardest.... Imagery, I think -- there's real meat here, genuine creativity in the imagery...things like "The wind careened off the clouds Rocks grew and blocked paths" and "Fog caressed the keyhole Breath gasped and feet cried" That's about as good as imagery gets, anywhere, any time. Well done, Paul -- you really nailed this one. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
||
angelblueyes Member Elite
since 2003-07-19
Posts 2148Oklahoma |
I so enjoyed the images you gave and the flow of your words.I could've been right beside you. angelblueyes |
||
x8x_bigmike Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 130California, USA |
Time held us and showed the way Days end breathless and bent Soft victory ________- Great imagery...soft victory, emotional resonance. Mike _____________________________ |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
The dread was justified. *S* One of my friends... the father of my best friend in college who became my friend in his own right... fell from Longs Peak. But what a place of beauty and awe it is... Flowers stood along the path Night started the climb Fog caressed the keyhole Breath gasped and feet cried Small lights found the path I'm so glad you and yours came home safely to share this with us. Excellent write! |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |