Awake(ok littlewing..my second try..splendor)

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Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

0 posted 2003-07-26 04:05 PM

Whisper through the night so cold,
     tonight is black, tomorrow’s gold
          I’ll wait until the morning breaks,
               and stand here while the surface quakes

            You always shiver, never burn,
         you make mistakes but never learn
      It’s time you saw the world in white,
   embrace this place without a fight,

    I still don't see what holds you down,
         what turns your eyes from blue to brown
              I'll take you somewhere else someday,
                   Away from trouble and dismay

            Gravity will always win,
         but splendor’s hidden in your skin,
      Tonight is black, tomorrow’s gold
   it’s time for you to break the mold

(much much better. Splendor wasn't as hard as happiness...)

[This message has been edited by Wind (07-26-2003 04:20 PM).]

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2003-07-26 04:09 PM

Fantastic write Liz!!
I love this!!! A keeper for my library.

~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~The breeze that kissed you on the face,
Has held me in the same embrace~

[This message has been edited by Enchantress (07-26-2003 11:28 PM).]

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

2 posted 2003-07-26 04:09 PM

Splendiferous! Mellifluous! Lyrical!

Much enjoyed l'il darlin'!

EA

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

3 posted 2003-07-26 04:12 PM

thanke

                                  ...<>...^.*...........*....*.*.*...^.*.......*.                                                 .*...
.*<>....*                *...<>*......                      ^...^.....**..........**        ^***           ^***<>....        .... ...**..<>..*..         .<> ............           ....^**.........                        ...............            ......  * *    *   *<> .^...    .......  . ... ... ...*...*     <>..^..
..............      ....   <>..           . . . .....   ...
...<>..^....* ...... (this has no point

) ....* ......^...* * * ..**<> ......... .... ** ....<>....* * .....* * .......* <> ** ..... .... ...... ......*....
.....*........ ***** ......*....<>........ <> <><>* ..... ............... *** ..........*....... <> .......<>.*

[This message has been edited by Wind (07-26-2003 04:41 PM).]

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

4 posted 2003-07-26 04:35 PM

BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LIZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

wooo - hoooo
BRAVO BRAVO
*tossing roses*

This is awesome!
I knew you had some happy in there
*wink*
really, this is amazing
thank you
xxoo

[This message has been edited by littlewing (07-26-2003 04:36 PM).]

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

5 posted 2003-07-26 11:17 PM

Liz, this is an awesome write. I love the way
you formatted it, too.

Hugs

Ethel

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2003-07-27 01:55 AM

back to breathe . . .

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

7 posted 2003-07-27 01:59 AM

Great job on this, Liz...I like...yes I do!
Hugs,
~Vicky
"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

8 posted 2003-07-27 03:06 AM

Liz, OMG! This is an awesome piece! I just knew you had it in you and I'm glad you let it out!

into my library!

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

9 posted 2003-07-27 10:03 AM

Ah, yes, beautiful form and rhyme. I love this one Wind !! hugs, Chris

"At one glance
I love you
With a thousand hearts."

— Mihri Hatun, Turkish poet

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

10 posted 2003-07-27 10:17 AM

I do believe
we have a winner....

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

11 posted 2003-07-27 02:41 PM

Thanks guys...this wasn't blindingly happy, so I liked it. I'm glad you guys did too

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

12 posted 2003-07-27 04:04 PM

you are a terrific poet,,,,dont ever stop
windygirl

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

13 posted 2003-07-27 04:20 PM

Wind

"Gravity will always win,
         but splendor’s hidden in your skin,
      Tonight is black, tomorrow’s gold
   it’s time for you to break the mold"

Sweet!!

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

14 posted 2003-07-27 05:00 PM

Great writing Liz could be one of your best, least its one of my favourites

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

15 posted 2003-07-27 05:29 PM

lol..what are ya guys saying? ya want me to be hopefull from now on? I shall try

El_Campeador
Senior Member

since 2003-01-29

Posts 761
Ohio, USA

16 posted 2003-07-27 06:01 PM

This one is really good, Liz. I would have to agree with Aenimal, and say it is one of your best.

“We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

17 posted 2003-07-27 06:22 PM

haha..didn't notice that I passed the number line..

vandana

Member Patricius

since 1999-10-22

Posts 10463
USA

18 posted 2003-07-27 07:26 PM

nice

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

19 posted 2003-07-27 08:16 PM

this cheered me up. yep, one of ya best m friend.

I, however, still feel like this

Instant karma's gonna get you.

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