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Open Poetry #27
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Losing Doug
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Losing Doug |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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Losing Doug I saw you today and didn’t know you, striding pointless through the random shade, your heavy shoes unconscious of the litter, the city grass scarred with eucalyptus sticks and the tracks of dogs and other bums. I couldn’t have stopped, the light green and a bus down on me from behind, you just a guy with a week of beard a gray-stained ruck and a wide leg stride that yelled of years without an equilibrium. Suddenly I knew – oh Doug, what happened? What drench of time put out the spark and turned your steel gray eyes as blank and raw as the window of a slot machine? How did your hair, your arms turn old so soon? They said you loved her through the end and after, hit the bottom when she did it, or no bottom. Was that the start? The mirror told me the tremble, a hand’s unconscious search for something solid, something round and real and glass. Could I have helped, parked somewhere, talked, or would the help have turned to something else? Would you have known me after fifteen years, the knowing force more pain, draw you to ask what you would have to ask, that I could not refuse? If I would go back tomorrow, are you there? Is it that you do what you do there every day, or have your shoes carried you away somewhere into the past again, mine, yours, back to a memory, back to the friend I knew and now do not? [This message has been edited by Ratleader (07-26-2003 07:49 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Oh my...Ed...this is by far the most touching piece that I've read from your pen. It just reached in and grabbed my heart and wouldn't let go. I don't know if your Doug is 'real' or fictional, but I do pray for every 'Doug' out there...and there are so many. Thank you so much for sharing this, Ed. Hugs, ~Vicky "My friends are my estate." ~Emily Dickinson [This message has been edited by vlraynes (07-26-2003 03:25 AM).] |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
He's very real....in fact he's the friend I mentioned in this poem, a while back, and "she" is the person that poem is about. /pip/Forum64/HTML/002737.html It broke my heart to see him, and to know there's nothing whatsoever that I can do. I sort of knew this about him already.... There are women in this group who act like the person in that poem, and the way he is can be part of the damage they do. It's one of the reasons (though far from the only one) why I avoid 'em, won't have anything to do with 'em once I see who they are. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> ______________Ratleader______________ [This message has been edited by Ratleader (07-26-2003 03:52 AM).] |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Haunting Ed, beautifully written i can't begin to imagine how I'd react, what course I'd take.. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ed, yes, and as I resound what I said earlier . . . a black widow indeed . . . what can you do? I dont know but this tugged the strings for me xxoo |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
"People" emotionally affect other "people" - sometimes intentionally and sometimes not... Would that we could avoid the hurting part, eh?.. Well penned, RL...  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The poem is very vivid and moving..how hard it is to not be able to save someone we care about from themselves...poignant write poet sir...good to have you back from your break and I dont mean to sound like I am starting a debate..but about your reply to this... I just want to add...there are many men who do this too..any one whose been here very long, knows the game "the poet collectors" and not just in "this group" --we see this on-line all the time... at some point we need to either learn or get used to getting burned. *jaded moth getting off of soap box*  "How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you." |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Hey, leather-head! Glad to see yer words again. And this is just fine, yes indeed. Sorry 'bout your friend. I just hope that I',m not seen as someones "Doug" Ed |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Welcome back! You've been missed! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Welcome back, my friend... This was worth waiting for! Your pen packs a powerful punch... and the ending leaves us all wondering about those we know on paths to destruction... is there anything we can do... was there? All I know for sure is that this is one I won't forget... you've portrayed Doug so vividly another heart aches for him. When I read this kind of excellence, I don't wonder why these blue pages seemed empty without you... superb work! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I have seen this too, Ed. And although I do my best to help out my friends old and new, now...sometimes it is sort of selfishly because by helping them I forget what ails me, at least for those moments. Not too sure about "There are women in this group who act like the person in that poem, and the way he is can be part of the damage they do." in your response to another...and I, too, pull back from knowing more or sometimes believing in more than exists. I guess we all wish that there were no facades but the truth is, you can even be with someone for years...and in the end, never really know them. A heartfelt write, Ed. Nice to see your words. hugss Maureen |
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Janette
since 2001-07-20
Posts 2843Chicagoland for now |
"or have your shoes carried you away somewhere into the past again, mine, yours, back to a memory, back to the friend I knew and now do not?" Splendid writing here for a lost lost friend, such a pity and oh so very sad. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
You wrote so vividly that I could see Doug striding down the street. You have been missed around here sir. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Thanks, friends....it is truly good to be back after my little haitus, and I missed this group even more than I expected to. Special to JM -- yes, men too! In fact, that poem I cross-referenced, "Hearts On A String," was actually written because of a man in this group. I detest that in men, and won't associate (here or elsewhere) with a man who does it. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed...It's so good to have you back! This poem has so much power, because it touches on something I think we have all felt at one time or another, and because your words are so real that we can see the hidden wounds and the heart of Doug and the poet. Fabulous writing!  |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
A striking post Ed. Touched my heart, for some can never recover from this hurt. TD |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Sometimes and for some people the only valid choice is to join the ranks of the walking dead. You would have done him no service to stop and point out who he was somewhere inside he knows and chooses this instead. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Doug was one of the few guys I've ever done guy things with....to most men, having a friend who drops by at random, going down to hit balls in the batting cages, hacking through a round of golf or a game of chess, those are ordinary things...not to me. He was completely special, and there are cracks in my heart from seeing him like that now. And I wonder what Jessica would say....probably pretend she didn't know him, even though she romanced him for months....just turn those gold eyes of hers away and make believe he was nobody she knew....but then, maybe he was just that, even then. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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