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Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

0 posted 2003-07-25 08:54 PM

You’ve left the house alone,
to let the walls fall down
You’ve turned the ground to stone,
to let the garden drown

You’ve chased away the birds,
From all my leafless trees,
You took away my words,
And left me with disease

Without you, now my shadow’s gone
As if- it too fears me
Your absence now has me withdrawn,
It’s a conspiracy

You’ve broken all the clocks,
to freeze my mind in time,
You’ve closed me in a box,
you won’t tell me my crime

And you’ve left this place alone,
to let the nails come loose,
Yes, you’ve turned it all to stone,
When I can’t tolerate abuse

(The person who this is about..is not me. they know who they are

)

[This message has been edited by Wind (07-25-2003 09:21 PM).]

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

1 posted 2003-07-25 09:09 PM

You’ve chased away the birds,
From all my leafless trees,
=============================

Without you, now my shadow’s gone
As if- it too fears me
Your absence now has me withdrawn,
It’s a conspiracy

You’ve broken all the clocks,
to freeze my mind in time,
=============================

And you’ve left this place alone,
to let the nails come loose,

=================================

Do you know how cool this poem is???
do you know how clever these lines of analogy and personifi are?
For me, there is something so satisfing to watch a young poet come into their own and find their style and poetic step...
You are a bright star on the horizon poetess Liz...and I, among many here, are enjoying watching you streak our blue.

"How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you."

LH

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

2 posted 2003-07-25 09:19 PM

hey..thanks moth-lady. Your replys are always long and thoughtfull, and make me want to keep writing

I'll keep streaking the blue..in red and yellow..and black

Duncan
Member Ascendant

since 2001-08-07

Posts 5455

3 posted 2003-07-25 09:59 PM

Hey kiddo....Be back to comment shortly. Did you get my mail?

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

4 posted 2003-07-25 10:04 PM

Good God, Liz -

these lines are extremely insightful:

now my shadow’s gone
As if- it too fears me

amazing
xxoo

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

5 posted 2003-07-25 10:17 PM

Wow!

You got me hooked into the words..I can't paste my favorite parts because it's ALL good.

Now I can't wait for your next post

[This message has been edited by Kaoru (07-25-2003 10:17 PM).]

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

6 posted 2003-07-25 10:21 PM

I wait here with my lottery ticket, damn the numbers do sound close...

Wind???

this should have been our duet yanno.

There's a lot of wisdom--knowing wrapped in that little package of you.

I'd hug you but I'm afraid you'd kick me.

smile.

Oh what the hell.

I've been kicked before.

now lady, do you yahooooooooooooo?

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

7 posted 2003-07-25 10:24 PM

Dunc- 2 days ago..didn't you?
Sue- thanks honey

Meg- you've got me hooked too

Ser- I don't bite..I'ma sweet thang

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

8 posted 2003-07-25 10:25 PM

Liz...gawd...you never cease to amaze and impress.
There are some VERY cool lines in this piece.
For example...

"You’ve chased away the birds,
From all my leafless trees,"

WAY cool...excellent imagery.

And this...

"You’ve broken all the clocks,
to freeze my mind in time,"

That's just a very cool and creative thought.

Those are my favorite lines, but the whole thing is great!
This is definitely one of my faves of yours.
You just keep getting better and better.

Hugs,
~Vicky

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson
[This message has been edited by vlraynes (07-25-2003 10:27 PM).]

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

9 posted 2003-07-25 10:38 PM

You’ve left the house alone,
to let the walls fall down
You’ve turned the ground to stone,
to let the garden drown

Liz, this is amazing how you felt the emotions of someone else enough to write this wonderful poem for them. You are very talented, my little friend.

Hugs

Ethel

Wind

Member Elite

since 2002-10-12

Posts 2981

10 posted 2003-07-25 10:45 PM

Vicky and Ethel, thank you guys. And Duuncan- you've got mail. Again

SharaRose
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2501
Somewhere out there~

11 posted 2003-07-25 11:20 PM

Wow I love this. I would say how do you do it, but I know how..it's called talent!!! VERY nice to read you!!!

SharaRose @-->--

Of sound, and speech let all lift the hearer!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

12 posted 2003-07-25 11:24 PM

What Vicky said...You do impress...very
much, and very well...

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