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vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

0 posted 2003-07-23 07:18 PM

This My Prayer

In the silence of the meadow in the morning
With the only sound the waking of the wildlife
May you listen to His spirit in its guiding
On your journey through the twisting paths of your life

May He bless you with the strength of inner healing
That your soul will feel the comfort of His presence
May you know that in that moment of revealing
You will surely see the beauty of His essence

May He constant be your trusted true companion
May He lead you on your quest for all you're seeking
When your path may lead you through a lonely canyon
May you hear His voice in comfort softly speaking

May your heart be filled with knowing that He loves you
May you feel His quiet presence in mentation
In your travels, may He always safely keep you
In His refuge free of worldy trepidation

This, my prayer for you, today and in the morrow
May your heart be filled with peace and free from sorrow

~vlraynes

Okay...now for a little explanation.
This is something that I wrote for the workshop this month,
and after talking with Nan, I decided to share it here.
The meter is pyrrhic/spondaic hexameter, and if you'd like
a more in depth explanation of what that is, you can visit this workshop thread.

Just for a little further clarification, using the first stanza
as an example, this poem should be read in the following rhythm...

""In the SILENCE of the MEADOW in the MORNING
With the ONLY sound the WAKING of the WILDLIFE
May you LISTEN to the SPIRITS in their GUIDING
On your JOURNEY through the TWISTING paths of YOUR LIFE"

So...I hope this little explanation made sense
to you, and now I think I'll just rest a bit.
I think I broke my brain writing this one..LOL.

"My friends are my estate."
~Emily Dickinson

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2003-07-23 07:23 PM

It is SING, it is SONG, it is great!

Don't even ask me to try...
but I can appreciate the rhythm, the timing, the control, and most especially, the effort required to pull together something that most cannot!

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

2 posted 2003-07-23 08:20 PM

All that and a sonnet-like rhyme scheme as well... Did this take you eons to write? I would need a week for something like this - It's absolutely great!!!...

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

3 posted 2003-07-23 08:38 PM

Vicky...beautiful in sound and meaning...loved it!

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

4 posted 2003-07-23 08:41 PM

Keeping this one for study...

Lady?

shaking my head...

You've got a lot of words to lay on us yet!

Remarkable writing from a remarkable friend and poet.

Love you.

NewEnglandlazurlu
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-01-04

Posts 7470
A Mountain Paradise

5 posted 2003-07-23 08:53 PM

Vicky, a beautiful prayer, exquisitely written with thoughts that bring tears.

May this bring peace and healing. AMEN!!

Hugs, Marti

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

6 posted 2003-07-23 08:59 PM

Vicky, you know that I love this. I love the thoughts behind the words...I love the rhyme...the rhythm....the construction of the poem. I also appreciate the time that you took to put this together. I hope that you don't mind if I keep it to study, too. I need to print it off to study the way I want to....if you don't mind?
This is just so beautiful, Vicky!!!

Hugs

Ethel

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

7 posted 2003-07-23 09:03 PM

May He bless you with the strength of inner healing
That your soul will feel the comfort of His presence
May you know that in that moment of revealing
You will surely see the beauty of His essence

May He constant be your trusted true companion
May He lead you on your quest for all you're seeking
When your path may lead you through a lonely canyon
May you hear His voice in comfort softly speaking
=============================

*shaking me head*
now will ya look at this...
Im STILL scared of a sonnet and you take this on....not only is the poem a high inspire but the work involved studying.
VERY VERY well done POETESS Vicky-girl.
You have a muse for every occasion...from humorous to dark to down right impressive.

( I got your email..will w/b soon)

"How could I stand here with you and not be moved by you."

LH

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

8 posted 2003-07-23 09:05 PM

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

9 posted 2003-07-23 09:14 PM

just fabulous,, and beautiful..

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

10 posted 2003-07-23 10:04 PM

Wonderful in every way! I was just outside on my porch with a friend. She and I were reading from the Bible. When I lay the Book on the step, a butterfly landed on Revelations 2. It was like no butterfly I had every seen. My friend and I just looked at one another...Within moments, the same butterfly landed on the same place in the Book. Sorry, I just felt I needed to share that with you. This prayer is a perfect part of my evening.

Thank you!

Patricia

angelblueyes
Member Elite

since 2003-07-19

Posts 2148
Oklahoma

11 posted 2003-07-23 10:57 PM

This is a wonderful prayer and an absoulute great write.I apprciate the time you took to write this.No way could I come close.You are a true poetess that shines on us all.
angelblueyes

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

12 posted 2003-07-24 08:58 AM

OkayGirlFriend~
See what happens when you sit quietly in the meadow-of-your-mind~

You just 'know' this one is mine for the keeping~

NOW- because you probably won't ... I will~
quote:
I just did a little bit of research on the meter late last night and didn't actually start on the poem until about an hour or so before posting it.
AMAZING !!!!!!

Yeppers, when you make the time to listen ... it happens~

Vicky ... this is an outstanding piece of penning~ So much wrapped in the lines of thought ... gently flowing ... easy on the heart~

I love you~
*Huglets*
~*Me

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Ladybug
Member

since 2003-06-17

Posts 236
Massachusetts

13 posted 2003-07-24 09:15 AM

A very comforting, and beautiful prayer. Excellent job with the meter, it flowed very smoothly!

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end...

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

14 posted 2003-07-24 09:55 AM

I always enjoy a well rhythmed poem.

A beautiful prayer, Vicky

hugs
M

Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

15 posted 2003-07-24 10:00 AM

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

16 posted 2003-07-24 01:56 PM

This is a beautiful prayer...James

Lady In White

Member Elite

since 2001-02-12

Posts 2799
USA

17 posted 2003-07-24 04:17 PM

My friend,
I do believe
your flood gates
have been opened.

Has Phoenix been warned
it's going to rain?

dgvarner
Member Elite

since 2000-05-13

Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida

18 posted 2003-07-31 10:47 PM

hm..i'm not a fan of such rhythm....but the writing is very well done..and a wonderful write i might add..

i believe.."southern tidings" would be proud to publish this one m'friend..

yes, this one should be published somewhere..

enjoyed..hugs, g

I want to run naked in the Blue!

Kielo
Senior Member

since 2002-02-11

Posts 1109

19 posted 2003-08-01 05:47 PM

That thing what Rhonda said.

Kielo

I'll never know the cost, but all of Him is more than enough for all of me....

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

20 posted 2003-08-01 05:51 PM

yeah I echo what they said

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

21 posted 2003-08-01 05:58 PM

I may never understand what or who "He" is but it sure is a beautiful prayer!

Thanks for sharing it.

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