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Open Poetry #27
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Mirror (Haiku?)
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Mirror (Haiku?) |
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ToRPoR New Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 9 |
Trees stretch to the sky. Mountains float over sinking clouds; placid mirror of water. |
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| © Copyright 2003 ToRPoR - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Close on your attempt, Sir. Welcome to Passions! A Haiku, which normally deals with only the subject of nature, should be in either 5-7-5 [syllable] format, or 3-5-3. Very concise lines and thought. Senryus are based on the same syllable count, and deal with nature mixed with personification; or anything that comes to mind. Please, check your E-mail for a Special Greeting! Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen? |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Beautiful entrance! I do adore the simplicity yet passion which goes into each line Lovely . . . xxoo |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
ToRPoR Good try, try again. |
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Wind
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
yes, you came close...it was still lovely |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Although your attempt wasn't the traditional 5 - 7 - 5 line scheme, the projected image was magnificent. Haikus and Senryus Three lines of five, seven, five Projects images Thanks, Melton |
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ToRPoR New Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 9 |
AWWW my!! Thank you so much for the CARD .. WOOHOOO :P Sooooo beautiful. THANK YOUUUU. And thank you all for the warm welcoming. What a bunch of great people. A family indeed. I'm very happy to be here  I know about haikus and Senryus, because I spent a great deal of time researching them. I fell in love with them, so to speak. Although there are no rules as such concerning the syllable count, people have come to take the 7/5/7 form as classical. you would still see beautiful "free-verse" haikus or haikoids still. Well my mother tongue is not English and some words confuse me with syllable count. But I do try my best. I guess this is 5/7/5 still, if I'm not mistaken. And it's from an image I saw in a poetry contest Thank you all again |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Welcome to Passions! Enjoyed your first post. Have fun here! Chris "At one glance |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Welcome to Passions. Enjoyed your write. Nice first presentation. ThisDiamond |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Welcome to Passions. I hope that you like it here. I enjoyed reading your first post.  Hugs  Ethel |
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ToRPoR New Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 9 |
OOOOPS thats was indeed 5/7/7 .. hehe .. a new form perhaps? lol Ok I am reposting with 5/7/5 form .. just deleted the word "Placid": Mirror in itself is flat and "Placid", so I beleive this is much better. Trees stretch to the sky. Mountains float over sinking clouds; mirror of water. Tnak you all |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nothing like persistence... a syllable count of 5/8/5... you're getting closer!!!  |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 nice imagery here!Welcome to Passions! |
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ToRPoR New Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 9 |
Ok got it (I hope) Trees stretch to the sky. Mountains float on sinking clouds; mirror of water. |
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