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Open Poetry #27
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Pretend Forever
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Pretend Forever |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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Pretend Forever I am bereft, desolate damsel, a coffin full of beauty, unclaimed. Lips, unmoist from vows, poison me a prisoner of hunger, 'someday' unquenched. For, I am no apple of a man's eye - an ugly stepsister beneath the gown wishing the same wishes and singing the same song. Yes, my prince, I’ll settle for the frog lips of fate and plant warts in the garden of faith. Penetrate my belief with your Pinocchio manhood, kiss me awake to sleep so I can dream. I’ll wear your strings, dance the catatonia... tell me that love isn’t just a word, read me the fairytale, let’s pretend forever. So, I’ll cut up all my credit cards and be a poor man’s second choice. I’ll fly the Superman without the cape, I’ll even accept the raincheck for all the plastic flowers you will pick me on a summer's morn when the sun is tangerine cutout, construction paper born from a little girl's scissors, lace-skinned lovers in a row with mom and dad fighting in the background. Carve out my pumpkin heart in hurried spell to glass slipper; and from it, sip my whine to wine so that I may be a love's hangover in make-believe that you'll still want me after midnight. By Melissa Long-Monette Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
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| © Copyright 2003 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
"I’ll even accept the raincheck for all the plastic flowers you will pick me on a summer's morn when the sun is tangerine cutout, construction paper born from a little girl's scissors, lace-skinned lovers in a row with mom and dad fighting in the background." Wow, very deep and powerful. The imagery of these lines ...amazing.  |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
My turn..DAMN..amazing use of imagery you love this theme don't you..mmm frog legs lol |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Thanks Kaoru and Raph.... I think every women loves this theme to write about or at least whine about LOL And we're always disappointed 'cause fairytales are too deceiving and reality too blunt. SIGHS! Believe it or not, in some twisted way writing about the dark helps keep me optimistic...go figure. Us Virgo chicks like to difficult, huh?!  Melissa Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Goodness, Melissa, I believe I've seen more "heart" and "honesty" in this than I've seen in a lot of your work. Truly excellent, my friend, straight from a "real poet's" lips. You are definitely growing as a writer and I'm quite proud of you.  The stars will shine when I am gone, |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Penetrate my belief with your Pinocchio manhood, kiss me awake to sleep so I can dream. I’ll wear your strings, dance the catatonia... tell me that love isn’t just a word, read me the fairytale, let’s pretend forever. ====================================== You have always had a gift for the strong bleeding emote and for imagery with impact, as well as mixing rhyme, assonance, alliteration and word play... and also what always stands out is your employ of theme and metaphor ... using personification and imagery...and using examples of extended metaphor to express your theme on a deeper level. In this inspire working the fairy tale facade to poetic impact and completion. Penetrate my belief with your Pinocchio manhood, WHOA ... kick butt line Melis-girlie.  "I'm good at two things and this is the other one." |
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El_Campeador Senior Member
since 2003-01-29
Posts 761Ohio, USA |
This one hurt, because it is too easy to dream for that fairytale. But maybe the answer is that we have to learn to find the fairytale in everyday life. And if we find that love is a sacrifice, not just a feeling, then love will last forever. “We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.” –Robert Louis Stevenson [This message has been edited by El_Campeador (07-16-2003 08:02 AM).] |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Melissa, I can't do better then JM she said it all.  |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
*bump |
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JaiOfHeaven Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 207California, Usa |
What everyone said and more. Hey, you are a true poet and writer. There just is always room for improvement is all. Keep writing... Jai |
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