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Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

0 posted 2003-07-12 08:21 PM

Goodbye

I wait
and I listen
for a sign, a miracle,
a sudden rush of your scent,
for your belly-passion-laugh
and once more there’s nothing.

And, I don’t even know if I still love you
because I don’t know what love is anymore.
And, I don’t love life
not the way I used to
when I was your little Missa
through splendor sky mornings
when everything seemed so perfect.

You lied to me
when you promised that you would return.

Yes, I’m angry,
so deep in the torment
of losing you
that I could scream
until glass shattered
'til all the gloating, carefree butterflies
stripped themselves of wings.
But, it's useless,
nothing could ever peace the frailty
of what’s out of reach.

And I’m angry with a sadistic God
for making you suffer for so long,
and I hate myself
for not being strong enough
to hold onto you
that even death couldn’t pull you away,
but, he did
and I let him.
I gave up,
just like you,
just like the sun does
when the darkness
drains it’s light.

So, you paralyze me
with the same helplessness
like the years and days
I watched your mind
and body decay.
I just wish that I had a piece of you,
a leftover to carry with me,
something...
anything that lingered on
instead of watching
memories die too.

I’m weeping ass-ragged,
tired of running down roads
that have been chewed, used,
regurgitated and stepped upon.
There comes a point
when I must let go
to keep what sanity I have left.
But, what good is a stable mind
when black and white is not as it seems
and all the plans we made together
can never be.

All that you promised is meaningless now.
It’s been too long,
you’re gone;
and there is no comfort
in Santa Claus
or fairies
or once upon a time.
And, I don’t believe in Heaven
or angels anymore,
no afterlife
with dreams along the shore.

Still, your footprints feign the sand,
there’s just nothing left.
Every drop of hope,
every breath of beauty is dry,
and the world refuses to stop for my pain,
so, I’ve no tears left to cry.

Yes, Grandma, this is goodbye.

By Melissa Long-Monette

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
For Phyllis Long
Died: June 15, 1996
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[This message has been edited by Honeybee (07-12-2003 08:31 PM).]

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

1 posted 2003-07-12 08:25 PM

beautiful,,,,,

A voice of honesty
   is treasured
more than voices
   of flattery
      QjQ

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

2 posted 2003-07-12 08:28 PM

Melissa...I have no words...only tears and lots of
Peace and love to you, my friend.

"...until you have read the verse on his heart,
you have not truly met the poet.
~vlraynes
[This message has been edited by vlraynes (07-12-2003 08:31 PM).]

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

3 posted 2003-07-12 08:30 PM

Such a deep and passionate write, bitter sweet upon the heart, as the reality is so riveting, and the outcome so sharp.
You have touched me, for I know this loss...and I know that you find so much of her inside of you. Well done.
ThisDiamond

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

4 posted 2003-07-12 08:35 PM

Melissa, this really touched my heart.
Thank you for sharing a piece of your
heart with us.

Hugs

Ethel

Dylan
New Member

since 2003-07-12

Posts 7

5 posted 2003-07-12 08:58 PM

wow. heart felt, knee scraping pain. loved this.

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

6 posted 2003-07-12 09:02 PM

Oh Melissa, I feel the hurt. I still mourn my wonderful Grandmother too. You made a powerful piece here.
Sandra

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

7 posted 2003-07-12 10:32 PM

But, what good is a stable mind
when black and white is not as it seems

Beautiful hearfelt and wrenching words Melissa, these lines stood out..I feel it too many times and know you do to. Hugs peace

Honeybee
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-26

Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA

8 posted 2003-07-12 10:41 PM

Thank you all for your replies....

Even after 7 years I'm still having trouble accepting that one of my dearest friends is gone, and the way she suffered and died still haunts me.

But, your replies comfort me, thanks again.

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

Janette

Member Elite

since 2001-07-20

Posts 2843
Chicagoland for now

9 posted 2003-07-12 11:11 PM

This made me weep.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

10 posted 2003-07-13 01:59 AM

x8x_bigmike
Member

since 2003-07-08

Posts 130
California, USA

11 posted 2003-07-13 02:22 AM

there are no words, just simply put, that was beautifull.

Mike

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