Open Poetry #27 |
Vox Clamanti in Deserto, Vox et Praeterea Nihil. |
icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Post hoc vita brevis, ergo propter hoc omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis, ergo si sic omnes. per particeps criminis Sitting on a sunny slope surprised in a icy rocky mountain wind, I knew the day that saw your birth, I watched an eagle flying east, and I believed you would appear. Holding threads that wove a tapestry I turned my world inside itself to look, before the mirror cracked I saw there was no going back to living from one moment to the next. Traveling the razor's trail of tears, with hope and disbelief I wandered through a crowded empty world in pain, a child far from home in desperate search of love's sweet anodyne. Living in the open, in the cracks between the building blocks of obligation and necessity, I kept my life as busy as the world around me would allow, and I believed you would appear. Following the setting sun as each night had just begun to open up before me, I would scan the evening sky for reasons without asking why another day had come and gone without you. From time to time there'd be a sign, a raven's call, a lightning strike, the wild geese, the scent of Fall, I'd touch the moon and ask the mother ocean if I'd finally gone insane. I waited through a lifetime, I waded through the service of whom ever took me in, an endless journey passing time with no direction, and I believed you would appear. Waiting, I grew old even in my dreams clutching shredded tatters of belief, watching, casting hope before me as the winds of disenchantment froze the marrow in my bones. Without you I am the wind, full of power without meaning; now alone, truly alone I watch you throw our life away in pieces, as if without a care, and wonder why I believed you would appear. ©2003 by icebox |
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© Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved | |||
QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
***Waiting, I grew old even in my dreams clutching shredded tatters of belief, i enjoyed these lines,, very nice write.. QjQ |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
From time to time there'd be a sign, a raven's call, a lightning strike, the wild geese, the scent of Fall, I'd touch the moon and ask the mother ocean if I'd finally gone insane Amazing write..and I hope this gets the replies it deserves..I know anytime I used latin phrases or titles it scared the buggers off..hope you have better luck grin I'm Off to bed nite m'friend |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I was about to head out west when I saw the first verse but I'm glad I continued south |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
icebox....a poignant write, my friend. Hugs |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Not sure if this is about finding your soul mate but it reminded me of a picture I saw on the web...several skeletons were sitting around a table and the caption said "waiting for their perfect mates"...I think I'll settle for the non perfect version...James |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Gawd that's good, Ice. You left me feeling despair for you. This poem has real power. It makes me hate my sense of humor because that is all I have right now to push my pen. Beautiful writing. |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
Waiting, I grew old even in my dreams clutching shredded tatters of belief, watching, casting hope before me as the winds of disenchantment froze the marrow in my bones. Stunning, yet again, and into my library this heart breaker goes. seriously breathtaking. |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
I love the leading stanza, and the entire poem for that matter. Very powerful writing. |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Perhaps whoever you were waiting for did appear but you were so busy that you didn't even notice. I'd rather believe that than think that a belief so strong couldn't manifest your "heart's desire" unless perhaps it's not really what you believed at the time. Wonderful writing as usual, Icebox. Thank you. |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
QjQ ~ I am glad you enjoyed this. Thank you for taking time to comment. Aenimal ~ *smile* Yes, Latin scares some, although it is a very civil language. Thank you for reading my poem and for your comments. passing shadows ~ Oh, you should not let my poem steer you away from the West! Just remember, there is no bad weather, only bad clothing. *smile* Martie ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for your continued friendship. JamesMichael ~ No, soul mates are too scary for most souls. *smile* Thank you for reading my poem and for your comment. LngJhnAg ~ Humor is the only thing that stops us from going into the abyss; never let it go. No despair, no despair. *smile* gemjop ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for your comment. Magnus ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for taking time to support it with your comment. Honeybunch ~ Yes Helen, the person did appear, did acknowledge the connection, became frightened and ran. Thank you for reading my poem, for your insightful comment and for your friendship. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Damn dude! This is STELLAR! Oh! By the way, Happy that you found this forum. I enjoy your perspective. Ed |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Waiting, I grew old even in my dreams clutching shredded tatters of belief, watching, casting hope before me as the winds of disenchantment froze the marrow in my bones. ___________________________________________ the imagery...marrow chilling in the bones dang, but you are a word and image master! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
quote: These would be my favorite lines. - I enjoyed the entire work immensely, however... and I surely do wish my Latin weren't so rusty - I can only glean about half of it without a translator... |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
I apologize for not returning to this to respond to your comments sooner. Life demands...more, sometimes. ************************************ wranx ~ Thank you for reading and for your very supportive comment. Midnitesun ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for taking time to comment. Nan ~ I am glad you enjoyed this poem; thank you for telling me. I had intended to come back and add a translation to comments, but it just did not happen. I will do this now though I realize you are not likely to read it. Latin does lose a bit in translation to English; as in almost all languages, the assumptions which connect the thoughts are weakened. Vox Clamanti in Deserto, Vox et Praeterea Nihil The title means: "the voice of one crying in the wilderness, a voice and nothing more" Post hoc vita brevis, literally means: "after this life is short," but it alludes to the emptiness often experienced when a major corner is turned in a life or when a significant chapter is over or when a relationship has ended sooner than desired.. ergo propter hoc literally means: "therefore because of this" omnia mutantur nos et mutamur in illis, literally means: "all things change and we change with them" ergo si sic omnes. Literally means: "therefore if everything had been thus" It is a lament; a non-literal meaning is: "why couldn't it last forever" or "why couldn't it continue" per particeps criminis literally means: "as a partner in crime" So...a voice crying in the wilderness asks because life is short and change can not be stopped if we change with life why could we not continue as a partnership in crime? I hope this explanation has not been tedious. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
thank you, icebox, for the translation...not tedious at all. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sitting on a sunny slope surprised in a icy rocky mountain wind, I knew the day that saw your birth, I watched an eagle flying east, and I believed you would appear. Holding threads that wove a tapestry I turned my world inside itself to look, before the mirror cracked I saw there was no going back to living from one moment to the next. Traveling the razor's trail of tears, with hope and disbelief I wandered through a crowded empty world in pain, a child far from home in desperate search of love's sweet anodyne. ============================ Following the setting sun as each night had just begun to open up before me, I would scan the evening sky for reasons without asking why another day had come and gone without you. From time to time there'd be a sign, a raven's call, a lightning strike, the wild geese, the scent of Fall, I'd touch the moon and ask the mother ocean if I'd finally gone insane. ============================= Waiting, I grew old even in my dreams clutching shredded tatters of belief, watching, casting hope before me as the winds of disenchantment froze the marrow in my bones. Without you I am the wind, full of power without meaning; now alone, truly alone I watch you throw our life away in pieces, as if without a care, and wonder why I believed you would appear. ================================ OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did I miss the masterpiece... to have not read it would have left a hole in my poetic soul...I would have felt a loss even if I didnt know why... There are so many lines in this that went thru me... I'd touch the moon and ask the mother ocean if I'd finally gone insane. ~~~ Without you I am the wind, full of power without meaning I dont know what impresses me more...your gift of imagery and personification, or the sheer unadulterated depth of the expression in your emotive confessions Many of us in here share the common believe that one of the highest compliments one poet can give another is to say " I wish I had wrote this" ... and trust me when I tell you I truly wish I had. Once again your words move me to where my words pale and fail to tell you true. the translations are as powerful as the rest of the poem. excellence seems to follow your pen No matter what the differences |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Your Latin phrases certainly are a lot more interesting than the ones in my medical books! You're some writer, Dear Box of Ice! Keep the dream! ergo si sic omnes Earth Angel |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I waited through a lifetime, I waded through the service of whom ever took me in, an endless journey passing time with no direction, and I believed you would appear. Oh, my! *S* Even with Latin more than rusty after wasting away for all but legal terms for decades... I was enraptured by this magnificent write... wondering how in heck I'd been missing it? *S* And the translation just adds more depth... this is excellent! |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
Martie ~ You are welcome. I often feel like there is never time to finish things; I did not want to leave this undone - it would be rude. Janet Marie ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for your comments. "You whispered across my chasm of loneliness ... reaching out for my hand, offering me a path paved in the cadenced content of your company. Across distance and darkness our fingers laced, an entwining embrace lingering on in memory's trace far beyond the fathoms of both time and space." These are your words. They shine with a depth that I only attempt. I do not believe I have ever written anything so poetic and so pure. *smile* Earth Angel ~ Thank you for reading my poem and for taking time to comment. I always thought medical Latin was chosen to disguise doctors' bad hand writing. *grin* suthern ~ I am glad you enjoyed my poem. I appreciate your comments. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I came back to read this beauty and saw your reply back to me... trust me poet sir...you have written them...I have read them on these pages and Im grateful have had that opportunity... but I thank you so very much for taking the time to go and find some of my work ( me muse is extraordinarily contrary these days) I am honored and humbled at your gracious praise...coming from a poet of your capablities, its a lovely compliment. thanks so much.. now lets sent this gift of verse back up for those who missed it..its just too special. No matter what the differences |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
back to the top |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Well, Iceman, I am so glad that this was bumped back to the top. A lot of times if I'm not able to be on here much, I miss some very good poetry. This would have certainly been one of them. This is amazing piece of poetry, kind Sir. I've noticed that you can write on any subject and all of it is magnificent. So...a voice crying in the wilderness asks because life is short and change can not be stopped if we change with life why could we not continue as a partnership in crime? Thank you for the translation, Sir. Even though it was awesome before you translated, it added to my understanding very much. I feel that we all have soulmates in this life. We just fail to wait for them most of the time. I am so blessed to have found mine now....after I thought I never would find the right person for me. Thank you for sharing this with us. "If I know there's no possible way I can change something or do about something, then I push it to the back room in my mind & slam the door on it."~Gary~ ~Heart hugs to you~ Ethel [This message has been edited by garysgirl (07-07-2003 02:09 PM).] |
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NewEnglandlazurlu Member Rara Avis
since 2002-01-04
Posts 7470A Mountain Paradise |
My dear man, this is as good as it gets! I thank you for the Latin translation as I had no clue to its meaning. As for your outstanding poem, there are lines in it that should win a prize. They touched my heart in ways I could never explain: Waiting, I grew old even in my dreams clutching shredded tatters of belief, watching, casting hope before me as the winds of disenchantment froze the marrow in my bones. Without you I am the wind, full of power without meaning; Brilliant ... hugs and thanks, Marti Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. A.Einstein |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
icey: I understand this well: Vox Clamanti in Deserto, Vox et Praeterea Nihil Sempre libera xxoo |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
quote: yep, these words are sticking to me as if they were pasted to my eyes |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
Not sure I have much to add to what everyone else has said...but, wow, you are a master with words. Susan C. |
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