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Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

0 posted 2003-07-10 01:51 PM

I am practicing rhyme and meter
with this verse.

Embroidered Dreams

I stitch by flame my case of lace
To capture dreams tonight
With hope for soft embrace of face
I pull each thread quite tight

Cross stitch my words of midnight blue
Loop peaceful moonbeam chain
Embroidered wish my dream hold true
No tears this pillow stain

Sew verse I sing crop string of thread
With knot tied tight in place
To know tonight my head in bed
Soft filled with dreams of lace

I dream the dream I sew tonight
Hold fast to keep ‘til morning light

[This message has been edited by Patricia (07-11-2003 12:49 AM).]

LeeJ
Member Patricius

since 2003-06-19

Posts 13296

1 posted 2003-07-10 01:58 PM

and what fine lace your embroider,,, beautiful words...beautiful heart..very much enjoyed.

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

2 posted 2003-07-10 02:29 PM

nicely written,,,,

A voice of honesty
   is treasured
more than voices
   of flattery
      QjQ

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2003-07-10 02:34 PM

So where's my special linen sewn
where dreams are captured of their roam?
Where stars are flung about my room?
Tell me will you send it soon?

~*~

Love it!

Pilgrimage
Member Elite

since 2001-12-04

Posts 3945
Texas, USA

4 posted 2003-07-10 04:50 PM

I enjoyed your little exercise. Good images in it.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

5 posted 2003-07-10 04:58 PM

Very very beautiful Patricia.
I have a terrible time with rhyming..
rather write free verse any day.
But, you do seem to have it mastered.
Much enjoyed the read.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~If you haven't heard the sunset,
you haven't been listening.~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

6 posted 2003-07-10 10:32 PM

Wonderfully penned Patricia, flowed beautifully.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

Poe_Pot_Pie
Member

since 2003-06-01

Posts 107
Canada

7 posted 2003-07-10 10:35 PM

I really like this! It's a wonderful poem. You combine a lot of things to make this, but lay it out so clearly that people can understand. Even people as weird as me, giggle.

Keep writing!!

Nightshade

Member Patricius

since 2001-08-31

Posts 13962
just out of reach

8 posted 2003-07-10 10:41 PM

Beautifully done Patricia. hugs, Chris

"Said you'd give me light...
...but you never told me about the fire."

~Stevie Nicks~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

9 posted 2003-07-10 10:50 PM

Patricia, this poem is so lyrical!

May I make a little suggestion?

"cross stitch words rich in midnight blue" is beautifully stated, but perhaps "of" would be smoother than "rich in". Just a thought.

Truly a lovely poem--image-wise, rhythm-wise, and thematically.

Luvs 'n hugs,
EA

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

10 posted 2003-07-10 11:56 PM

Patricia - well done for a practice piece. Me thinks you write well...

BC

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

11 posted 2003-07-11 12:00 PM

Patricia, this is very beautiful.
I love the title, too. Just beautiful
writing. I love it.

hugs

Ethel

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

12 posted 2003-07-11 12:23 PM

Pretty piece of stitching here kiddo!
Delicate and soft as it danced the page.
TD

Ivy Rose
Senior Member

since 2001-12-29

Posts 1300
MA, USA

13 posted 2003-07-11 01:09 AM

Patricia...Very nicely done. Doesn't look like a practice piece to me. ***Ivy Rose

anwaarhassan
Member

since 2003-07-09

Posts 181
Menifee, CA

14 posted 2003-07-11 01:15 AM

If this was just a practise piece...then I can hardly wait for the serious stuff...excellent rhyme and meter...great work.

Anwaar

ambrish
Member

since 2003-03-27

Posts 257
India

15 posted 2003-07-11 02:19 AM

captivating title
a poem full of melody and rhyme

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

16 posted 2003-07-11 02:29 AM

brought back some memories here Patricia...thanks

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

17 posted 2003-07-11 08:03 AM

yes, Pat, this stiching hold together really well

Toerag
Member Ascendant

since 1999-07-29

Posts 5622
Ala bam a

18 posted 2003-07-11 08:20 AM

Honey...I practice on every verse I attempt to write....and I'm proof positive that practice doesn't always make perfect!!!..But ya done good here gal

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

19 posted 2003-07-11 11:22 AM

Wow...your practice is perfect!
Eric

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