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Open Poetry #27
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All Is Quiet In The Room
| Open Poetry #27 |
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All Is Quiet In The Room |
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quatro Member
since 2003-04-29
Posts 392Galveston, Texas |
All Is Quiet In The Room Listen to the silence hear it's joyful tune pray upon it's peace, all is quiet in the room. No more heavy footsteps no more hit and run no more angry words all is quiet in the room. Awakened now by daylight cradled in it's warmth darkness no longer an enemy all is quiet in the room. Sympathy comes once in a while while the past will fade with time. Fear will no more be a curse for all is quiet in the room. quatro [This message has been edited by quatro (07-09-2003 01:19 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Naome James - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Love the atmosphere of this, and the way you keep bringing it back to that dead-stop focus with the "all is quiet" line... well done! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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x8x_bigmike Member
since 2003-07-08
Posts 130California, USA |
Awakened now by daylight craddled in it's warmth darkness no longer an enemy all is quiet in the room. This really makes the poem for me...the opposites you use daylight - darkness warmth, craddled, - enemy, quiet one thing i would say...is maybe find a way to kill the repitition of the all is quiet in the room...maybe...or changing the structure abit...it might really unlock the feelings buried here...it seems almost restrained...i hope that helps...very well done.. |
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RavenEye Junior Member
since 2003-05-02
Posts 29Ohio, USA |
Hello quatro, This is a wonderful piece!! Very nice read! RavenEye  Keep faith, hold your dreams in your palm of your hand as you reach for your goals! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I love this! |
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anwaarhassan Member
since 2003-07-09
Posts 181Menifee, CA |
Well done!!! Anwaar |
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