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Open Poetry #27
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Love's Address
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Love's Address |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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Ramshackle house, empty, forlorn Does it remember finery worn When faith was new and lives were young And hope's last verse had not been sung? He cut each plank with his own hands They snuggled and discussed their plans How in these rooms, their family Would grow and find prosperity. The children came to bless their lives They faced adversity, survived. Days dragged along but years flew by And kids moved out, making her cry Grandchildren came to visit them But their life's lights were growing dim. Up on the hilltop, side by side An old groom rests beside his bride. The home they built soon fell apart Once love was gone, it had no heart Broken windows and torn off door Show there's none to care anymore. I pass the house and understand I've all the substance of shifting sand Without your love, I'm just a shell I breathe because in me love dwells. |
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| © Copyright 2003 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I have a children's story... I should send it to you. You would understand it.... because you just wrote it. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
 not sure which lines here to quote... so I'll just say they all were well presented and the story well told then wrapped to an ending making it personal.. not just another story being told.... you did good... very good... and certainly glad to see you sharing your talents... see... doesn't hurt now does it? |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
A beautiful piece of writing from a beautiful heart. May love reside at your address, Dear One. Lovin' hugs, EA |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Suthern, This is wonderful...and my mind is pondering your words and how the lines apply to my own life. Excuse me...just sort of speechless here. Superb write. Patricia |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I've all the substance of shifting sand Without your love, I'm just a shell I breathe because in me love dwells. ******************************************* BRAVO! I love that ending. IWIHWT |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Our heart is our home and love always dwells within ... You painted these lives very beautifully, it had a deeply melancholic effect on me. Almost heard the wind "visiting" the house, bringing back stories of long ago. Love, Margherita |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Sunshine: I'd love to read it… thank you! *S* Cpat: Not so very much, I reckon. LOL Thank you… glad you liked! *S* EA: You sweetie… I thank you so much. *S* James: Thank you! *S* Patricia: How kind you are… I thank you so very much! *S* Midnitesun: I don't think anyone has ever given me a IWIHWT… thank you very much! *S* Margherita: Your response is a poem in itself. *S* Thank you! *S* |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
You're getting really good, you know that? The way you balance symbolism and reality here, then bring it all down to a focus with those two closing lines....Yes, I like this a lot. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
damn girl! You can sure write! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Ratleader: I did all that? Really? Where? LOL Thank you, my friend... I'm very glad you liked. *S* PS: Such high praise from two of my favorites... leaves a smile on this gal. *S* Thank you! *S* |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
hey can I just ditto ratleader? lol, but...he forgot the metaphor usage, wonderful write...wonderful....I used to be an empty shell that was crumbling more every day, but now, in me love dwells...sigh...guess that is a miracle in itself... |
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inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
"Wow", I know that address because it is wherever my love and I live. What a touching love story. |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
I pass the house and understand I've all the substance of shifting sand Without your love, I'm just a shell I breathe because in me love dwells. Ruthie, my friend, you know that I love this...because I know this!!!  Hugs to you, Lady  Ethel |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
suthern, breathtaking and stunning in its simple but deep message. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
jellybeans: I guess you can't very well ditto me when responding to my poem... right? LOL Thank you so much, dear friend... both love and beauty dwell in you. *S* inot2B: It does move around, doesn't it? LOL As it should... thank you! *S* garysgirl: I know you know it, lady... so I'm very glad you love it. *S* Thank you! Kethry: You're so good to me, my friend... and I do thank you! *S* |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
suthern...a heart-touching love story...beautifully told! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Martie: Thank you so very much... I'm glad you liked! *S* |
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anwaarhassan Member
since 2003-07-09
Posts 181Menifee, CA |
A beautiful poem...thank you for sharing. Anwaar |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
So beautiful, and sad. Sandra |
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Blush Member
since 2002-08-31
Posts 56Ky |
A meloncholoy and nostalgic touch this one has Nicely done hun I just posted my first new poem here today Patchwork Quilts Hope to see you visit me also Blessings Susan~~~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
anwaarhassan: Thank you very much... I'm glad you liked! *S* catalinamoon: Thank you for finding the beauty. *S* Blush: Thank you so much... and welcome to Passions! *S* |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I pass the house and understand I've all the substance of shifting sand Without your love, I'm just a shell I breathe because in me love dwells. ================================= The moth is late... (out pretending I have a life)   but you knew I would find this gem of pen... classic Ruth poetry...those closing lines have all the heartstring playing, poetic impact of a kick in the chest...and you know how I love having the wind knocked out of me. See...if you just keep doing this...it becomes part of the routine.. See Ruth write... See Ruth post... See moth flit about LOL So...we can expect this on a regular basis, right? heh Well ... OK ... but you have to wash it first. |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
nobody ever gave me an IWIHWT either auntie! (and I don't even know if I want one?) but I know another haunted house when I see one and all I can say is -- OUT DAMNED SPIRIT OUT! LEAVE AUNTIE ALONE -- *dialing a priest*  a creative vignette to house your heart RuthDon't tell me to get a life -- I have one on backorder. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
JM: Nag, nag, nag. LOL Can't you just flit while I laze about? LOL Thank you very much, lady... hope you were enjoying that life. *S* LR: Could you please dial a gorgeous guy instead? I'll even supply the number! Puh-leeze???? *G* Thank you, sweet nephew. *S* |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
It was a joy to read this again, it still maintains its attractiveness, dear Ruth! Love, Margherita |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Margherita: Thank you so much, sweet lady. *S* I'm honored you'd pay a return visit. *S* |
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