Sour Sugar - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

0 posted 2003-07-06 03:31 PM

Sour Sugar

You craved a steady
glucose IV,

Slow drip
induced
morose,
comatose
state.

Always eyes glazed,
Consciousness unraised

Each day I satisfied your addiction.

Mixed your fix,
with sugar and water
exactness.

Sixteen years
you never tasted
caustic acid
in my salty tears.

Until the day I found my will
And left you with a bitter pill.

Didn't you know sugar could sour?

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

1 posted 2003-07-06 03:57 PM

Patricia, this is SO good.
Sandra

Magnus

Member Laureate

since 2001-10-10

Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

2 posted 2003-07-06 07:11 PM

It certainly can, can't it? Even the plum
picked fresh from the tree can be bitterly
sweet, looking so delicious on the outside.

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

3 posted 2003-07-06 08:05 PM

With over 7,000 members, you must understand that so many read, and so many do not comment. They just read. Writes like this, honest, factual, gritty...stand the test of time.

It's not always sugar and lightness... sometimes it IS sugar, fermented, gone acid with time....sometimes, it takes a very talented poet...to spill the grains.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius

since 2001-10-23

Posts 10549
By the Seaside

4 posted 2003-07-06 08:45 PM

What Sunshine said, I am not sure what to say Patricia, only because I understand this so well. I gave up sugar a long time ago...it never did anything for me anyway.

I am partial to honey now-a-days!

Good write gal!!!

Edder
Senior Member

since 2003-04-02

Posts 671

5 posted 2003-07-07 12:45 PM

ohhh, this is good. well done Patricia!

littlewing
Member Rara Avis

since 2003-03-02

Posts 9655
New York

6 posted 2003-07-07 12:55 PM

Damnnnn Patricia . . .
felt the punch in this one
awesome
xxoo

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

7 posted 2003-07-07 01:19 AM

ooh, this one stings
well done, poet Patricia

peppermint35
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1106
Texas, USA

8 posted 2003-07-07 02:40 AM

Succintly said.

Well done.

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
Percy Bysshe Shelley

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

9 posted 2003-07-07 05:20 AM

I never would have thought about it, but I see it now

2dalimit
Member Elite

since 2000-02-08

Posts 2228
Mississippi coast

10 posted 2003-07-07 06:47 AM

WOW... I'm glad I read this one.

Thanks,
Melton

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

11 posted 2003-07-07 06:50 AM

Patricia, i see the strength in this, good on you lady. thanks for sharing with us.

Ericc
Member Elite

since 2003-01-31

Posts 4178

12 posted 2003-07-07 07:46 AM

Deeply moving Patricia.
Your words describing this struggle are very poingnant.
Eric

Ceinwyn
Member Elite

since 2000-07-09

Posts 2175
VA

13 posted 2003-07-07 09:32 AM

uh huh what they said!

If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

14 posted 2003-07-07 04:48 PM

Oh!

Patricia,
This is the best yet...and that is tough to say. Smiling right at ya! TD

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

15 posted 2003-07-08 01:48 PM

Sixteen years
you never tasted
caustic acid
in my salty tears.

Such sadness here... but strength, too... when enough was enough. *S*

Liked this very much! *S*

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

16 posted 2003-07-08 01:54 PM

You pulled out his I.V.--and saved your own life!

Lovin' hugs,
EA

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

17 posted 2003-07-08 07:05 PM

Didn't you know sugar could sour?

Heh, especially love this line and love the rest too.

Well Done Patricia.

Maree

fate is not just
whose cooking smells good
but which way the wind blows

(Ani DiFranco)

Bonnie j
Senior Member

since 2003-06-27

Posts 1588
Ohio

18 posted 2003-07-08 08:06 PM

Good one. Life at times sure can be a bitter pill to swallow. Have had that sour sugar a few times in my life.
See Ya Bon-Bon

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

19 posted 2003-07-08 08:21 PM

Patricia - I didn't know sugar could turn sour, but the way you wrote this I believe it can. Yes, it sure can. It's a shame when the other party doesn't get the message until it's too late....

BC

QjQ
Member Elite

since 2003-04-18

Posts 3756
U.S.A.

20 posted 2003-07-09 08:31 PM

very good write,,

A voice of honesty
   is treasured
more than voices
   of flattery
      QjQ

Poe_Pot_Pie
Member

since 2003-06-01

Posts 107
Canada

21 posted 2003-07-09 08:53 PM

Amazing! You have a way with words! Everything about this spells, AWESOME!!!

Well Done.

garysgirl

Member Laureate

since 2002-09-29

Posts 19237
Florida, USA

22 posted 2003-07-10 12:51 PM

Patricia, I like this style on you...it's good!!
I really liked this part....

Until the day I found my will
And left you with a bitter pill.

Didn't you know sugar could sour?

I hope he reads that!!! LOL

Hugs

Ethel

Patricia
Member Elite

since 2003-04-06

Posts 2160
Missouri

23 posted 2003-07-10 07:41 AM

Thank you for the replies to this poem. I am working through pain the only way I know how. I believe this is the best way for me. I appreciate the support I receive from you, my poet friends.

Love,
Patricia

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.