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Open Poetry #27
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The Sky Leans
| Open Poetry #27 |
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The Sky Leans |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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The Sky Leans The sky leans over me like a bad actor making threats, adlibs half-hearted thunder but won't muster any lightning. Where's the tornado now, the clouds gone naked underneath and lusting for the ground? Where the heedless wind that drags the house apart, sucks me out into the dark? Where is that force, that forced release, that launch into oblivion? The clouds still claim it, thunder pretends but comes no bare whirling cloud; just a spattered sting of hail, a little rain and no storm, thunder without lightning. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Ratleader Thunder without lightning, lingers in your thoughts. Perhaps it will pass. Enjoyed. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed....The yearning for something stronger to take away the dismal, same old, is apparent in this very well done poem. I have felt this way many times.  |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"The sky leans over me like a bad actor making threats, adlibs half-hearted thunder but won't muster any lightning." That is one of the best verses I've ever read. Excellent Rat...  |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
 loved the imagery but not the feel of the hailstones |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
I want it all...the lightning, crooked and thrilling and the wind which takes me in another direction. If it is going to storm, then let me feel it all. This is wonderful writing. Patricia |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Ed~ Absolutely adore this one~ Was reminded of a touch-stone I penned many years ago~ for I could find serenity in a church. Give me a taste of thunder that lingers long after the lightning is gone. Have an inspired Sunday, poet~  *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Very descriptive and lyrical...as always...awesome. Eric |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Ohhh Ed, I beg to differ . . . The thunder is but waiting Has always been there . . . xxoo |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Sometimes, timing is everything. *S* I'm only online right now because my afternoon guest stood me up... and a storm's been brewing both outside and in. *S* So you must have connections in very high places... for as I read the last verse, the storm broke... and horizontal rain slamming against the window accompanied the last words... and a couple of re-readings. *S* I agree with Duncan... the first verse is incredible... but so is the rest of the poem... so much tension... just waiting release. *S* Where is that force, that forced release, that launch into oblivion? Within your words, poet sir... within your incredible words. *S* |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
I agree with Duncan, those are perhaps the best lines I've ever read. An excellent emotive write with impressive imagery and message. I'm keeping this~ Melissa Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Oh, to feel the electricity in the air! Love this Ed..and I'm keeping it! ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~If you haven't heard the sunset, |
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IntoTheFlames Member
since 2003-06-21
Posts 92Va, USA |
Great write!!!  ~*Summer*~ |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Enjoyed the restlessness in your words, and the uncertainty that looms while looking forward to what lies on the horizon. Hmmmm, lots to ponder in this Ed~ Like the calm before a storm, and the anticpation of it all. |
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Greeneyes 
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903In Your Poetic Mind |
I love a good storm......this has a lot of powerful emotion....HUGSSS Lauren~ Through the darkness |
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ptwils165 Member
since 2002-11-29
Posts 50 |
as many people have said, this is good good stuff. the first stanza is tremendous - hard to maintain that sort of brilliance throughout, but the rest still packed a decent enough punch. fantstic. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Where is that force, that forced release, that launch into oblivion? The clouds still claim it, thunder pretends but comes no bare whirling cloud; just a spattered sting of hail, a little rain and no storm, thunder without lightning. Ed, there is so much longing and want for the electrical currents in this one. The lightning and whirling is there, my friend. I was beginning to think that it would never be for me again, but it is....with more currents than ever before!!! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The sky leans over me like a bad actor making threats, adlibs half-hearted thunder but won't muster any lightning. Where's the tornado now, the clouds gone naked underneath and lusting for the ground ================================== "Toto...we're not in Kansas anymore"  AWESOME write of imagery, metaphor and personification. Very cool poet sir.  Well ... OK ... but you have to wash it first. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Definitely not, JM....though there are some folks who think I belong there. Having lived in Tornado Alley, I can handle it. Having lived in a New York burb, I can handle that, and having lived by choice in LA, I'm quakeproof..... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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