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Old Stuff II
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Old Stuff II |
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mirror man Senior Member
since 2001-01-08
Posts 814 |
The Horse of Maribor One Tuesday night around twelve thirty, while I pondered, lone and nerdy, over many a curious configuration appearing on my monitor, while I panted in my rapture, nearly on the safe encapture of some vestal virgin image appearing on my monitor, suddenly there came a crashing, as of some heavy object smashing, smashing on my apartment door. "'Tis some heavy object smashing, bashing, bashing, crashing on my apartment door. Only that, and nothing more," said I, returning to my monitor. But on returning to my chiaroscuro, I found, I found, to my great sorrow, that I'd lost that perfect avatar o' buxom beauty and lascivious lore, that luscious, sumptuous nymph of Maribor, nameless now forever more. Oh sob! sob! galore. Then with lonely fingers drumming, and the low, infernal humming of computer and keyboard filling me with fantastic goose bumps did failure loom, among whose dumps I endeavored to retrieve that luscious nymph, that scrumptious babe of Maribor. Again I heard that loud crash crashing and the sound of something smashing, something smashing on my apartment floor. "'Tis probably that jerk, below, in a drunken stupor," said I, returning to my monitor. But now I heard something more. And with curiosity burning from the sound of water churning, with new found courage returning, I walked down the hall, to my door, to my loud and smashing, splashing lavator. "Sir," I said, "or Miss or Madam, please forgive me if I didn't fathom the urgent nature of your call. I was working at my monitor." And here I opened up the portal to see what loud and busy mortal, to see what man or beast or what all, came crashing on my privy door. Then what appeared to my surprise, a great white horse before my eyes, a great white horse, and no surmise, came sloshing through my porcelain door. 'Twas only this, and nothing more. He looked around the place somewhere to find a sofa or a chair and finding nothing, nothing there, he sat his dripping tush upon my monitor. "Sir," said I, "You cannot stay here, nor can you eat, nor sleep, nor neigh here. And how you found your way, your way here I do not know. We’re on the third floor!" So said the horse, "No need to worry. Nor is there any need to hurry. We can take all night, if you prefery. I trotted all the way from fabled Maribor, from a stable in the fabled, fabled Maribor." "Oh, joy!" cried I as it phased me, "you’ve truly saved me. Now I know the gods have thus forgaved me, and something else that rhymes with aved-me, to send a horse with such decor." For surely he would have those babely configurations I so longed for. Then, stopping for a pause, said I to he, "But truly now, my eyes deceive me, or else my ears have thus relieved me, because I just can't believe me talking here to a horse within my door." "Be not deceived," thus said the horse, "believe your eyes and ears, of course, that you do intelligently discourse with a horse, a horse from fabled Maribor." "Well, excuse my naivity," said I, "but a horse is a horse, of course." "Of course." "And no one can talk to a horse." "Of course." "Unless I'm talking to a [gasp!] talking horse corpse!" "Talk to Mr. Dead," replied the Maribor horse. And then I cringed, but it only got worse. "I am the horse," thus said he, "that roams the world but no one sees, a horse most grim and ghostily, the Horse of Misused Monitors." "But fear me not," continued he, "just call me Duke or Mr. D." But I could only shake with misery at seeing such a ghastly, ghostly horse. "Oh, woe is me," thus said I, "'Tis true, I see, but tell me why before I leave, before I die, why come for me from far away Maribor? Is it something that I said, or is it something else instead, or is it just because that I'm not dead? Please tell me what you came here for." Thus said the horse, "The answer is that you called me, it was your wish to meet that scrumptious eastern dish, the babe from fabled Maribor. And as for death, well, get a life. 'Tis as they saith, you're a nerd. Oh yeth, oh yeth," did saith the horth from Maribor. "Oh, I admit," said I in shame, "'Tis true. It's just like you said, just like said you, and while we're at it, let's throw in something blue. Oh, 'tis true, 'tis true. Oh, boo hoo hoo." "Boo!" said the dreaded, ghastly, ghostly horse from a stable in the fabled Maribor. Then on the air came something rank, like something more than dead, but dank, 'twas then I noticed this horsie stank, this Horse of Misused Monitors. "Pee-yoo!" said I. "It’s you. You stink!" Thus said the horse, "What did you think? I came by bus? I came by drink. I tried, I tried to use the sink, but bowls are much bigger, of course. It really works out for the better and though 'tis true I get much wetter than train or plane, and yes the fetor can get quite thick, it's why it is that no one sees me. But if you wish, you wish to please me, use tidy bowl, or something breezy next time you clean your lavator." "You mean," said I, "I'm supposed to clean it?" And I pondered, pondered how did he mean it, these strange words of the Horse from a stable in far away fabled Maribor. "But now for what I came here for," then declaimed he. "You called, I came. It's too late now, you can't disclaim your wish to meet that eastern flame, that luscious, buxom babe of Maribor. So hurry up, shut up, be quick. The ride may be a bit claustrophobic, and try not to think of anything gastronomic. It is your fate!" Said I, "Oh, ick." Said he, "Hop aboard." Then in a trance, it seemed to me that there was I, riding he, to plumb the depths of scatology, through the bum of the world and rise with a roar in the stables of the fabled, fabled Maribor. Splash, crash, smash, and bash! And now it is I live in bliss to spend my days with such a miss. And while 'tis true I had to slosh through 5,000 miles of ick, I took a bath and was a hit, and nothing is as it was before in far away, fabled, fabled Maribor. Oh joy peerless! Tu-witt! Tu-witt! Then said the babe, "Mow the grass. Take out the trash. Get a job. Move your ass. And who’s this Lenore?" note: my novel, Cool Universe, is now up in the prose forum. Enjoy. [This message has been edited by mirror man (07-04-2003 09:51 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 mirror man - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Well Mr. Nerdy Man, Be careful what you wish for! Thanks for providing this hilarious entertainment for my morning tea enjoyment! Made me wonder if I should get away from my monitor! hahaha! |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
LOL Made me look at my monitor in a whole new way! What a wild and whacky imagination you have! --and a great sense of humor!  Love, Light & Laughter, Earth Angel |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
mirror man........I totally enjoyed this fun fun tale of wit and hmmm, more!!! |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Poetry can be fun, yep! ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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