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Open Poetry #27
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"waving goodbye"
| Open Poetry #27 |
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"waving goodbye" |
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gyiel marlok Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 145OHIO |
hey little darling i see you smiling will you walk with me i've seen you crawling to a flowerbed's sprawling and the petals wave to you and not to me a fresh breeze frenzied an evening star breathing and autumn leaves waving goodbye.evangelize crows' feet staring at these eyes the carrion is all we'll see these honeybees just keep stinging me waving goodbye the carousels been stained rouge i'm still hearing the faint chatter as the cheap shots go boom dreary as my curbside room dreary as the raining afternoon dreary as those fallen hands at the moment of their last breath spent and the sun leaves waving goodbye..evangelize crows' feet staring at these eyes the carrion is all we'll see these scorpions just keep stinging me waving goodbye how come (edited by Moderator) memories are associated with a sad song..morals depletion joke all lifelong...and that's not a front,why are we so tender to equaling rights and wrongs,i implore you to fix broken handrails before you go holding on,the (edited by Moderator) i've eaten to the last drop,i feel like a commode,because it will not stop,and the warmth leaves... waving goodbye...evangelize.. crows' feet staring at these eyes the carrion is all we'll see your handshakes are breaking me imaginary massacres are killing me narcissism you bow down to we don't know why waving goodbye,waving goodbye [This message has been edited by littlewing (06-15-2003 10:45 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 GYIEL MARLOK - All Rights Reserved | |||
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gyiel marlok Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 145OHIO |
to those who post be frank as hell |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very strong write, very powerfully emotional and sadly so true, I can relate to this |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
****if you delete all of this, your message is actually more powerful: how come **** memories are associated with a sad song..morals depletion joke all lifelong...and that's not a front,why are we so tender to equaling rights and wrongs,i implore you to fix broken handrails before you go holding on,the *** i've eaten to the last drop,i feel like a commode,because it will not stop,and the warmth leaves... waving goodbye...evangelize.. crows' feet staring at these eyes the carrion is all we'll see your handshakes are breaking me imaginary massacres are killing me narcissism you bow down to we don't know why waving goodbye,waving goodbye ******that's my opinion, take it or leave it. And? it doesn't fit our household *** rules anyway. It reads stronger if you leave the reader with the image of a scorpion as the last image on their retina. [This message has been edited by Ron (06-15-2003 11:52 AM).] |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Thanks Kacy - I agree with the expletives wholeheartedly - this is very powerful - but yes Kacy is 100% right on this. Thanks again sis xxoo |
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gyiel marlok Member
since 2003-06-08
Posts 145OHIO |
THE EXPLETIVES ARE MINOR,SEE PAST THAT,IT'S LIKE A COOKIE THAT FELL ON YOUR CLEAN KITCHEN FLOOR,LITLE DIRT NEVER HURT ANYONE,AND BESIDES THAT'S WHAT MAKES THE POEM/SONG,NEVER HEARD OF SUCH CRAP,WHY WOULD YOU WANNA EDIT SOMETHING THAT IS EDTIED,MAKES NO SENSE TO ME,HAS ANYONE LOOKED AT THE WORLD TODAY, IT IS ONE BIG EXPLETIVE,SO LET'S ALL JUST RELAX A LITTLE SHALL WE,SORRY IF I OFFENED ANYONE |
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Ron
Administrator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-05-19
Posts 8669Michigan, US |
While it's perfectly acceptable to leave cookie crumbs all over your own kitchen floor, gyiel marlok, it's usually considered a bit rude to do that in someone else's home. We have rooms here, in the Mature Content section, where profanity (explicit or implicit) is allowed, and you might want to explore their use. In this room, however, your cookie crumbs WILL be swept off the floor so our barefoot visitors needn't feel uncomfortable following in your wake. |
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the_loner_23 Member Ascendant
since 2002-06-08
Posts 5479Jacksonville, Florida, USA |
Very strong write. But I agree with Kacy too. No need for the cussing. Cold hands means a warm heart |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Very Strong Indeed ARCTIC WIND |
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