Open Poetry #27 |
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Archetypical Construct of Decay ( A duet with Serenity... the brat child..LOL) |
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Cpat Hair![]()
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Over arching the architecture of straight and curved pieces bolted together is the structural intent grace demands eye traveled follow denying fault within cemented over arcing shadows beneath The Bridge that Sighs with each pulse of cloud driven in circumspective spin cables sing... the ties between roadbed we travel and towers we built first bearing weight of all on bedrock they crumble to the sky on stone stacked slim rain’s rot wearing thin the one day fall Kiss quick before the tumble quicksilvered in catch of light stand steady the balances and be damned the promises denied— legendary conveyance built by yearning to know other sides... fail me to forever but? give to me the moment's high .. Before the superstructure of reality makes me cry, "Oh Babel, your towers, Why?" |
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© Copyright 2003 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Now I know why the boards have been quiet. The Masters were mastering. I'll be back. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Brat? BRAT??? smile. I guess the gig is up, huh? *lmao* [This message has been edited by Sunshine (06-27-2003 03:03 PM).] |
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Wind![]()
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
Serenity's not a brat... she's just a little.. active. Good poem guys I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war, |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Ah what a beautiful sight, two masters indeed..captured me with the title and held me till the end..awesome |
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Cpat Hair![]()
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
Sunshine... mastering the techniques of how to write from the brat child...lol... lord she is so far above me when it comes to wordsmithing I had to beat her on the head to slow her down so I could keep up... and understand what she was saying in her phrasing... Ser..yeah.. BRAT.. LMAO... you know, and I know it.... Wind... a little active you say??? you try writing with her and see if you don't change your mind and decide I am right. Raph..what you see is Ser's touch..and talent..I was just along for the ride.. easy to look good when you work with someone as talented as she is.. thanks all... appreciate the comments and the read. [This message has been edited by Cpat Hair (06-27-2003 04:05 PM).] |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I am SO trying to behave. sheesh. Cap? YOU know, and I know, that you took tripe and made it palatable... but I'll not argue with ya in public. You always win anyhow...contrary to popular belief, I DO have m'pride. *sniff* *chuckle* |
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Cpat Hair![]()
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
well Ser if you have your pride..then stand in the spotlight and take the bow you deserve... you know and I know you put direction to this and initiated the piece to begin with... I edited a few places and added a bit here and there to make transitions... and to hold the cohesiveness of the piece on a level I yes I could understand.... now.. you could argue all you wanted... I'd still be right and you know it.. LMAO |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
and he calls ME a brat? smiling serenely... |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Serenity is not a brat...just has all this talent oozing from her. Wonderful piece you two... Much enjoyed seeing two masters of their craft at work. ~Hugs~ ~If you haven't heard the sunset, |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Wonderful blend of two fine poets...well done!! believe in what your heart feels... |
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garysgirl![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Well, Capt. ron, Karen may be a brat, but she sure is a sweet one, isn't she? And, a whole lot of fun, too. Thanks to both of you for letting us have a glimpse of your talents working together. It is awesome.....you both know that, though!! ![]() Hugs to both of you ![]() Ethel |
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Cpat Hair![]()
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nancy...lol..she is a brat.. ask her..lol.. but she certainly has talent as well..and it was a pleasure to writ ewith her. Scorp... thank you.. it is, as I said above, easy to look good when you write with real talent. Ethel.. Ser sweet? hmmm... let me get back to you on that one ok? LOL... yeah she is sweet... and not a brat in a bad way... but a brat...lol thanks for the comments all.. appreciate them and the chance to write with K... you all should try it some time.. she'll teach you things...she did me. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
talk about a poem built on a foundation of metaphors... whoa... and? the moth is bemused with her self as she had not a clue whose verse is whose... and as much as I read you two..thats a real compliment to this duets chemistry and syncopation. Love the imagery and personifi in this as well. very cool you fave groovy poets of mine ![]() ![]() All I can feel is this distance between you and me. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
(serenity enters cautiously, looking around--nope, no signs of the Cap...) Now, maybe I can have the last word. ![]() Cap Ron is far too generous,people. Truth is, he took my trite GARBAGE and turned into some nice sculpture. Don't believe that business about ME teaching him. He's just too sweet to take proper credit. There. The BRAT has spoken. ![]() Thanks all! ![]() |
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garysgirl![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
See, Capt. Ron...I told you that Serenity is sweet!! See??? ![]() |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
This is so lyrical and full of beauty. Thanks, Eric |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I know everyone gets a different viewpoint of this...but it finally came to me what I thought of throughout most of the poem [deleting, in my mind, the last sentence...] and that was the song, "Ode to Billy Joe..." so, color me weird...but that was what came to me. |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"Kiss quick before the tumble quicksilvered in catch of light stand steady the balances and be damned the promises denied—" I already knew I wouldn't be able to distinguish the "who wrote what" of this coupling and I wasn't dissapointed... ![]() As for Serenity and the afore mentioned brat status...I'm a bit confused why you're resisting it so Karen. You're one of few who could play it so innocently and decadently at the same time. ![]() ![]() |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
I'm hurt...deeply. ![]() |
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Wind![]()
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
On the loose aggain ![]() Must I keep constant watch over her? I said I'm going to buy a gun and start a war, |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
aw, Dunc. Forgive me. I know not the power of my "neener". ![]() ![]() |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
And lest I remind you, not just any neener....but the dreaded Louisiana BRAT NEENER!!!!!! ![]() |
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Wind![]()
since 2002-10-12
Posts 2981 |
![]() ![]() ![]() [This message has been edited by Wind (06-28-2003 09:35 PM).] |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
cables sing . . . God you guys are brilliant! I loved the pace . . . kind of like standing on a bridge listening to /waiting for the SNAP! awesome xxoo |
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Albert J. Allie Senior Member
since 2003-02-13
Posts 512Queens NY |
How I so Badly missed your work! ![]() |
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Larry C![]()
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Are you guys bragging on each other or buck passing? ![]() A lot of cool metaphors in this. Lovely... If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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Ratleader![]()
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
You two make a mighty nice combo -- both brats, then......? ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Sheesh! With all the patter....I forgot the POEM! |
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Larry C![]()
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Of course it was a typo! ![]() If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. |
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SEA![]() ![]()
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
"by yearning to know other sides... fail me to forever but? give to me the moment's high .." I like the way this sounds... the wording in this poem is so cool...I really enjoyed this...and I thought it was seamless... ![]() |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
ah -- two of my favorites collaborate! I feared it might forge an edsel -- but -- instead it's a jag |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wahoo a collaboration by two of my fav poets....this is indeed a masterful piece. and K yer a Luscious Brat ![]() Keeping this Maree ![]() |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Now, were we supposed to take this literally or figuratively? ![]() Words are tools, so I do believe it is safe to say, that you are both TOOL MASTERS. Write on! EA |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
From one who knows the special feeling of partnering with Serenity...I can just imagine the time you two spent on this...what fun, what grace, what beauty you bring to my mind... |
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