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Open Poetry #27
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Old House, Young Love
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Old House, Young Love |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows 
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Old man dying alone, I see your hand on every stone and hammered board in this ramshackle house. Half finished projects softly dusted over time point out you lost your heart so long ago. I won't ever know how hard you labored, what your plans and dreams had been, but the care and love you shared shows in each line. I'll never meet you, she's long dead and you're half crazy, locked in grief, lost in some neglected trailer park so far away. I wish you still remembered what I feel today. ©2003 by icebox |
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| © Copyright 2003 icebox - All Rights Reserved | |||
timothysangel1973
since 2001-12-03
Posts 1725Never close enough |
I just love that thinking mind of yours...... WONDERFUL write ICE |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
wonderful writing - you express your words so elegantly - enjoyed! Roniece Dawson-Bruce |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
icebox...an old house can hold so many stories, layers that have been papered over, or seen in the scratch of wood, heard in the creak of stair. Liked the feel of this and the thoughtful consideration. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
.... |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
nice piece... like the way it can be read and reveal layers of meaning... sometimes looking inside we see that old man don't we.. |
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ambrish Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 257India |
full of passions |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
This poem made me think...when we fall in love, we cannot say enough good about that person, but when love is lost...instead of looking at ourselves and asking the whys, we blame others...them....to the point of degradation...because we cannot get our way...but maybe if we realize, that we to made mistakes...even if only in our choice of that person, then we must ask ourselves why did we do so...and in searching our own souls, instead of casting blame, a thousand lights take us by the hand leading us to understanding of ourselves...we own no one's love,,,,it is a gift...for the time given...we may chose to cherish it...reject it...throw it away...take it for granted...kill it with deceipt and harsh words...or wallow in the gift of it...and be thankful for the experience. Sorry, these are the throughts which entered my mind while reading....wonderful write, thank you for sharing. |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Wonderful write, and tribute to the man. I'm keeping this one. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I wanna write like YOU...pouting again, although I know that doesn't "fly" with you. Grin. This ached like a squeaky board. |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
Really nice ice. Yes, this can be read in layers, as can old chipped paint. Ed |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
The future holds....what the future holds. Remember, most of what it holds is what we put into that particular box, and there are some things we can take out of it before they spoil. I like the way you look at things, icebox. We have much in common, I think, though most of it doesn't show on the surface. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This past week I had the opportunity to visit my childhood home... a home that my father built from the first nail to the last unfinished project. Dad left us a year ago, but had long since been gone from our home. My brother is still there, but seems unconcerned with maintaining our homestead as my father had so meticulously done. It pained me... Thank you for your wisdom, sir...  |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
This one made me tear up. I'll blow my nose and continue, excuse me. This is beautiful. When the heart is gone, sometimes it's too hard to keep going. I love the way you conveyed all that with the house. Well done. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
This aches ice, beautifully written and I hope you've found peace or will if you haven't |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Just sitting in silent awe.... |
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Bonnie j Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588Ohio |
When I see an old elegant home torn down I feel a pang of sorrow. The stories lost forever, the shared laughter and tears.The beauty of the carved wood or stained glass. Beautiful write Icebox. A touching of words of poetry. Bonnie j aka Bon-Bon |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I still can't think of anything to say...I'm just gonna sit with Karilea |
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