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Open Poetry #27
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Less One
| Open Poetry #27 |
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Less One |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass 
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Less One The bench, a’kilter by the thorn tree, beckons again, calls him to the shadows where wood slats shimmer with a memory as he sits exactly where he— And counts more of his treasure. Along the path already there were jewels between familiar trees with foreign sounding names, hibiscus, laurel, pyracantha, down among the little paths and little benches and— See him count the gold reserve in every step to every stop, to every place they held a moment, and now he holds another moment, holds it, counting, counting, it is all counting now, all meaning, was all meaning then, and now these— Red petals falling to the bench where she— And such worth in a fallen leaf the wind gives phantom life, where once a single leaf spoke of safe parting, and— Two precious feathers trembling in the grass, the trembling grass where— The flocculent ducks there at the water’s edge just turning disillusioned heads to go exactly as they did then, precious, crossing toward the dark-haired girl across the water, spinning to the song of tiptoes ‘round her mother— Counting, see him count them all, the trove of yellow acorns there along the path; oh, they were greener then, but still they speak as loudly as the bluebird did, that pranced expectantly along the bridge then winged off satisfied, its message given— But today, when any butterfly may bring a sign, there’ll be no sign of ending, no safe passage and no signal that the world is right again— There will be only duty and the clock, the tilted bench and— A missing treasure. |
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| © Copyright 2003 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
To say this is stunning is an understatement... but it's also truth... for it left me stunned... with its beauty... with its every detail shining with the duality of memory and reality... with the sadness of everything being there, except the only thing that matters. Superb write... one of your very best. |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
bravo Ed.. indeed a sensational piece! you have woven this one to perfection... makes a fellow jealous of you rtalent...  |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
dang, Ed, this is a masterpiece thank you for sharing it, and gifting me something new for my library |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I dont know which is more impressive..the imagery, the vocabulary...the personification, or the emotive expression...each woven as one by word and verse has created this superb write. Excellent write poet sir!! All I can feel is this distance between you and me. |
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CastleGuard Senior Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 760Alberta, Canada |
Absolutely incredible piece of writing, Ratleader. I am duly impressed. "And such worth in a fallen leaf the wind gives phantom life..." As a thought gives to the memory of a moment... Totally immersive work. CG |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Amazing write...so very much enjoyed.. wonderful imagery and love the presentation. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~If you haven't heard the sunset, |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Does make one stop to appreciate what they have before them...before it's too late and it's just a moment of~~ M |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I can't leave this masterpiece on the second page... especially not knowing what's pushed it down. *S* Thank you again... so much. *S* |
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OwlPoet Junior Member
since 2003-06-18
Posts 17Fullerton, California, Urantia |
Ed... Makes for a good poem these words put together this way. Will Patrick |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ed....The imagery is so real, and the feeling of love and some kind of loss, hurts in this, yet are so poignant and beautiful.  |
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ecrivan Member Elite
since 2001-12-10
Posts 3923my own state |
that empty bench beckons..well done Ed |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Ed, this is very beautiful, even if there is a sadness and loss in it, too. Very good writing, Sir.  Hugs, Ethel |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
I really liked this piece, descriptive and poetically penned! ARCTIC WIND |
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