Open Poetry #26 |
Her Newest Suitor |
Adonis Cross Junior Member
since 2003-04-07
Posts 46Miami, FL, USA |
I wonder if this ill befell Another who has come before And climbed the stairs to ring her bell Or coyly knock upon her door; I wonder if his heartbeat quit, Or if he also felt the stir That rises in the stomach's pit When waiting at the door for her; I wonder if this ill, at length, Assailed his senses just the same-- Or, having better brains and strength, He turned and fled the way he came... |
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© Copyright 2003 Adonis Cross - All Rights Reserved | |||
Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Very nice -- I'm going to look forward to more of your work. Been that guy....just know I stood right there.... ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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KristieSue
since 2003-01-31
Posts 1460PA, US |
LOL! good job... Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it is learned ~ KS |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This flows so wells and reads so neatly that it is deceptively simle--I do however realize how much thought goes into something to make it seem simple. That is an art in itself. The syllable count is perfection, and just two lines short of a perfect sonnet--I truly admire the construct of this. I WILL be reading more of you. |
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Ivy Rose Senior Member
since 2001-12-29
Posts 1300MA, USA |
Adonis...I, too, find this poem has a nice flow to it and beautiful rhythm. Enjoyed greatly. ***Ivy Rose |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
LOL...mmmmmm I too have felt this way...Very well done. You really have a way with words. |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Adonis: I loved this I wonder if his heartbeat quit, Or if he also felt the stir That rises in the stomach's pit a bittersweet feeling . . . xxoo |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
Adonis, this is wonderful; very much power of emotion and intrigue in it. Inpired many images and feelings. Thanks. |
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garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Adonis, I love the flow of this. It has perfect rhythm and rhyme. Very good work. I really enjoyed reading it. I hope you enjoy it here on our pages of blue. I know I will enjoy reading your work. Hugs, Ethel |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
How could I have missed this!? enjoyed..I know one worders (even if thats a word) is such a drag but I freely admit I suck at the comment thing! If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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