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Open Poetry #26
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Seductive Waters
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Seductive Waters |
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poetSeaMaiden Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107 |
~~ Seductive Waters ~~ Out across the darkest waters, shimmers moonlight in her eyes - Dangerously deep, she beckons - tides of softest sighs… Calling out my name, she whispers - wanting me to come And swim within her depths until the rising of the sun. Her waves are cold against my skin - I cannot see below - My heart it races, I’m afraid, of things I do not know… What lies beneath her waters deep - should I be here alone? What if danger lurks nearby? It chills me to the bone. She calls me so seductively, I cannot tell her no - These waters so mysterious - I feel her undertow… Am I alone within her depths, are others here with me? She lures us in with softest tides - the dark seductive sea. [This message has been edited by poetSeaMaiden (04-26-2003 10:42 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 poetSeaMaiden - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I loved your poem! It gave me shivers up and down my spine---from the cold waters of the sea, to the fear of the unknown...Wondrously imaginative and very compelling reading! Love & Eternal Light, Earth Angel |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
PoetSeaMaiden.....The ocean is both sweet and fearful...your vision here is haunting and beautiful! |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Oh yes! I really enjoyed the way you approached the mystery~ Very pretty~ and *Welcome poetSeaMaiden* |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
I jump in the shower it’s a good place to hide -I like the theme, again using water to mask tears, this is something I love. I don't know why I haven't seen this before, I wonder if you invented this? great! Tears in my eyes, welling up from inside… -  They fall, mixed with torrents of water so strong -tears-water torrents connection is really good, wow I can never make connections like this with my poetry. They wash down the drain, it is where they belong. -this seems to me to represent a desire to be rid of them, am I correct? Thats what I got from this at least... It’s a good place to cry, so that no one will see In a steaming hot shower, there’s no one but me… -Ohh so sad, so alone, this feels even more alone than your other poem, for at least there is life in the ocean, and the hope that you would rise to the surface. Here, there is no hope of anything but loneliness Sorry if I make connections between the poems, but I find similarity in theme.You can cry but it’s like you’re not crying at all Water with tears… Tears with water They fall. -Wow this makes so much semse to me, bu it is very depressing as well. I love how lines two and three here form together into the 4th, blending beautifully. They fall Mixed with torrents of water so strong - They wash down the drain It is where they belong… -A repeating stanza to feinforce the point, I like! Sigh...another great poem. You have tons of talent. Thank you for inviting me to read this!  I'd write more, but Yikes I already wrote so much, sorry. Mike |
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poetSeaMaiden Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107 |
Earth Angel - Sounds like you experienced it just like I was hoping the reader would! Glad you enjoyed! Martie - You too, had a "right on" experience with this. Thank you for liking my "vision." BluesSerenade - Thanks so much! I've read your work, and coming from you, this is a great compliment! MikeFessel - I should like - send you a check or something for your indepth critiques! Thanks SO much for offering up so much of your time to tell me WHAT you like exactly! I'm so glad you can "feel" the sadness. I don't know why, but lately I've found myself "stuck" in this mode. The whole water and sadness thing. It seems to fit me - I think I was a mermaid in another lifetime or something!  I appreciate your comments SO much. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Beautiful!!!!! Bridgette  "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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CastleGuard Senior Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 760Alberta, Canada |
Very 'luring', the temptation of the unknown; the desire; the thrill...and the fear. Nicely done. CG |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
BRAVO!!!BRAVO!!! I love the Sea and what a wonderful way to write of her seductiveness...I love it...totally captivating... |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
 (smiles) Awwwwwwwww, I love this, sweet friend, this had me imagining a beautiful mermaid pulling me into her coral reef fantasy and kissing me with her gentle touch! (big hugggsssssss) This is gorgeous and sensual, sweet friend, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing!  May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton Underneath your clothes, there's an endless story |
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