Open Poetry #26 |
Just Below the Surface |
poetSeaMaiden Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107 |
~*~ Just Below The Surface ~*~ Just below the surface of the deepest, bluest sea You will find a lovely maiden floating there, and she is me. You cannot see her tears, for the waves wash them away But they’re there - they’re always falling - always falling night & day. The waves are churning hard, like the thoughts inside her mind If you dare to brave her depths, there’s no telling what you’ll find. She’s an angel of the sea, always there within the deep Some say they’ve seen her on the shore, but only in their sleep. Truth is - she fears the shore, which is why she stays below But she cries below the surface, doesn’t want no one to know. The deep blue sea’s the perfect place to hide the tears you cry They fall, and no one sees them - so then they don’t ask you why… Just go below the surface of the deepest, bluest sea Go below and you will find her, she is there, and she is me. [This message has been edited by poetSeaMaiden (04-26-2003 07:40 PM).] |
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© Copyright 2003 poetSeaMaiden - All Rights Reserved | |||
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...some may want to know why you are crying those tears...James |
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whiskey
since 1999-12-28
Posts 1278Australia |
Great first post, Can feel the sadness you discribe. Welcome to passions Julie |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Enjoyed your first post!! |
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Mistletoe Angel
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
"My gentle Puck, come hither. Thou rememb'rest Since once I sat upon a promontory And heard a mermaid on a dolphin's back Uttering such dulcet and harmonious breath That the rude sea grew civil at her song And certain stars shot madly from their spheres To hear the sea-maid's music?" - Shakespeare's Midsummer Night's Dream (big hugggssssssss) This is a very emotionally charged debut, dearest friend, I love mermaids so much and have collections of mermaid art and can sympathize with the grief the ocean can experience! God Bless You, this is precious, I love it! Welcome to Passions, sweet friend, may you be inspired by all of us here as we will all be inspired by your lovely words! I can't wait to read more of your lovely words, sweet friend, we all love you so much, and be sure to check your E-mail for a very special greeting from all of us here at Passions just for you! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet friend, thank you for sharing! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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regards2you Member Elite
since 2002-10-01
Posts 3940California |
Sea Maiden, ~WELCOME TO PASSIONS~ Wonderful first poem and you are aptly named...glad to see you here and I look forward to more of your poetry. Hugs, Pat ..without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.. |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Welcome To Passions!!!! This is an incredible first poem!!!! Hope you like it here.... Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Something tells me your name goes very well with your poetry.... Nicely done and welcome to Passions. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Much enjoyed your first post! I look forward to seeing more of your work. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
I really love this. Normally I don't like long lined peices but this is absolutely great! I LOVE the way this read...It sings so beautifully! Great job here! And once again, WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!! You are a great addition to our family here! I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
poetSeaMaiden A delightful read, enjoyed. |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Oh my, oh my, OH MY! This is my kind of poetry! I had to check your poem out, because you related so much to mine, that I had to see inside of your mind. This is incredible writing. The expresion, the imagery, the emotions, I love it!!! Oh now I am going to write out all of my favorite lines Just below the surface of the deepest, bluest sea You will find a lovely maiden floating there, and she is me. -I love the picture painted, just enought to let me finish painting the scene myself, which I love. You cannot see her tears, for the waves wash them away But they’re there - they’re always falling - always falling night & day. -Oh this is fabulous writing, so sad though The waves are churning hard, like the thoughts inside her mind If you dare to brave her depths, there’s no telling what you’ll find. -Oh great comparison, waves-mind churning, I love the next line as well! She’s an angel of the sea, always there within the deep Some say they’ve seen her on the shore, but only in their sleep. -oh the mysteriousness you play with here! This is remarkable to in my opinion. Truth is - she fears the shore, which is why she stays below But she cries below the surface, doesn’t want no one to know. -Oh this breaks my heart This is so sad, I feel such longing to help her, to reach out to her and bring her to the surface The deep blue sea’s the perfect place to hide the tears you cry They fall, and no one sees them - so then they don’t ask you why… -this is so deep, I know this feeling so well, the hidden tears... Just go below the surface of the deepest, bluest sea Go below and you will find her, she is there, and she is me. -about here is where I started to cry. to be continued Mike |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Sorry I wrote so much some of it didn't fit, so here's the rest: This is so amazing! I can never understand why anyone who writes a poem like this, would ever look at something of mine and be impressed. It boggles my mind. I really felt your emotions here, and I can tell you I have shared, heck I continue to share so many of them. I wish you didn't feel them. I wish you were happy. Please be happy OK? Sorry if I go on. I hope I didn't upset or offend you in anyway, I sure didn't intend to. Mike P.S.- Oh and of couse Welcome! I am so glad you joined, obviously. Most people usually say things like, great for a first post, but this is simply great period! |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
WELL DONE! I like the way you let your feelings float upon the waves with this post. Welcome to Passions! |
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poetSeaMaiden Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107 |
JamesMichael - If I TOLD you why I was crying, I'd have to "do away" with you, see? Thanks for reading! *smiles* Whiskey - I hope you enjoyed, and thanks for the warm welcome! Nightshade - What a COOL little welcome sign! Thanks for reading and welcoming me! Enchantress - Thanks for a warm and lovely welcome! I love your name too! Lovely!! Magnus - Yep, that's me! Miss mermaid herself! Glad you enjoyed! JustBleu - I love your little happy face you left me! Thanks so much, and glad you enjoyed! Noah - What a BEAUTIFUL addition you've made to my comments here! A million thanks for taking the time to make it special! WOW! *big hugs back* KoKo - Wow, I'm so glad I could change your mind temporarily about long poems! LOL I'm with you - it has to be good to keep my attention. Maybe we're ADD and don't know it! *wink* Thanks so much, you already know I'm a big fan of yours too! Sy - I've always enjoyed your works, and so glad you are sharing mine too! Thanks! MikeFessel - I am humbled, just simply humbled. Please tell me you didn't really cry, because now I feel terrible! I am so moved that it touched you that way though. That must mean it's at least SOMEWHAT good, 'eh? *feeling proud* Don't be boggled Michael - and thanks so much for wishing me happy. You always go above and beyond sharing your thoughts and giving opinions, and it is ALWAYS appreciated. BELIEVE in your writing sir - you do have talent in my opinion. It's not easy pouring your heart out on paper like you do. *curtsies to you* Midnitesun - Thanks SO much for feeling this poem. I'm so glad you enjoyed!! ~ Poets cry with words, not always tears, you see. ~ PoetSeaMaiden |
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