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Open Poetry #26
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Hollow
| Open Poetry #26 |
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Hollow |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Before me a hollow, think I'll crawl in. Feel it chasing again in here I am safe. My eyes shut tight, knees gainst my chest, rolled up in a ball, I am compressed. No light in here, why should I care? For outside only darkness. In here there's despair. This cave grows cold, its not why I tremble. The entrance overgrown, not why I'm trapped. Hear them closing in. They're after me again. If I lay silent will they go away? This place so cozy I may never leave. No one reaches me here I detest this place. Broken little wimpers scream from my lips. Silent forest echoes desolate to my ear. Buried in this place, rotten seed in barren ground, fetid fuming ether, remains of my fruitful soul. By Michael J Fessel [This message has been edited by MikeFessel (04-26-2003 04:50 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2003 Michael J Fessel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Mike Your words chilled me to the bone and I only hope that if this was about you, that you have risen above and found light at the end of the hollow. I could relate to your words from my own experience. "Love is the lifeline I cling to when grief threatens to pull me down into eternal darkness" Take care.......Sue I am in motion |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Wow thank you Sue!  Nah, this is how I was feeling yesterday when I wrote this. I always write the way that I feel. But it was just a dark moment that passed, it always passes thankfully, sooner or later. I really worked hard on this. I'm really glad you liked it!!!! Mike |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Wow!!! Pretty intense!!!! I enjoyed!!!! Bridgette  "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Thank you Bridgette! I am happy you liked this! Intense. Think so? Yay! Thanks for the reply! Mike |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
I am staying, forgive my rashness. I must learn to control it. Mike [This message has been edited by MikeFessel (04-26-2003 04:47 AM).] |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
This is amazing. I fear I know this too well. This is definitly going into my private library. I would have voted for it in a flash if you had chosen it for the book! I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
LOL Even with the problem I have had here, someone comes along and makes me question leaving. I never received such emotion for anything I ever wrote in my life! Thankyou. HUG* Yes please put a copy in your personal library. Enjoy it! Oh, I am so flattered "I would have voted for it in a flash if you had chosen it for the book!" -Hmmm KoKo, thank you but I have no idea what you are talking about. You feel this way too? I am sorry  but at the same time I am also glad to know someone relates to this.Oh thank you KoKo. You have given me much to consider, though you didn't even intend it! Mike [HUGE Smile] |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
You can choose your work to be in the pip book, friend!!! You choose your poem to be in the book by clicking that little box that says "Click if you would like to submit this for the book" or something to that extent and the fellow pipsters vote on it and you just may get it in the book! Amazing, ay? I believe you only have 24 hours to edit your work, but perhaps you could repost it? I really do love this so much and would be ecstatic to see this in the book! ~big hugs back!~ I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. --Chang Tzu [This message has been edited by KoKo (04-26-2003 03:37 AM).] |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Oh no I wouldn't dare. My poem doesn't deserve to be printed. Thank you but no, I can't. Mike |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
I think you should give it a try, really. But it is your work and I won't try to force it on you. But believe me when I say it deserves to be published. I hope you can someday see that! This is a true peice of art, my friend. I would love to see it in the book, but, of course, 'tis your choice.  I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
KoKo, And you call me nice? Thank you! I could go back and forth with you all night like this LOL But I won't. Just wanted to answer each of your replies one last time. Thanks for all the encouragement. I will try, though I know it doesn't stand a chance. Mike |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
~Clicks the box and smiles~ I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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QjQ Member Elite
since 2003-04-18
Posts 3756U.S.A. |
nice write!!!! "It matters not how you answer, It matters only if i hear you" |
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Startime55 Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148Alberta, Canada |
I think all of us have a place inside where we want to hide in when hurt and sometimes it can trap us there if we cannot see beyond the pain we feel....This poem expresses it perfectly...."Hollow" Magnificent....you have my vote.. [This message has been edited by Startime55 (04-26-2003 01:21 PM).] |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I know exactly what you mean~ |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Mike, I have been in that huddled little ball more than once. Even today, I have felt like crawling in the cave. It is cozy there, yes, but very detestable. It is time for me to go into the light. Perhaps, the sun will warm the coldness that permeates me. Funny, I hate winter so, but it seems I was so full of hope then, and now with spring in full bloom, I feel hopeless. Sorry, TMI, huh? (too much info)But your poem just touched me so much. I can really feel your writing. I can relate...and isn't that what it is all about? -Patricia |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
KoKo: Oh you've made my day!!!  Mike[This message has been edited by MikeFessel (04-26-2003 03:49 PM).] |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Thank you so much QjQ!!! Mike |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Startime55: Oh you voted for me? HUGS* Thank you. I am so honored! Oh you have made me feel SO good You described my poem perfectly! Mike |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
passing shadows: Thank you! Mike |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
Patricia, Oh Noooo!! Not too much information at all! It feels so good to know someone related to my poem like this and that someone shares my feelings. However I wish you didn't, for this isn't the best feeling to have is it? Yes, relating is what its all about! I just want you to feel better, really I do. I want you to be full of hope, dancing under the lovely Spring Sun! I know wishing alone won't make it so, but...I can see it, can you? Thank You! Hugs* Mike |
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SPIRIT Senior Member
since 2002-12-29
Posts 1745California Desert |
Interesting and vote worthy. |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
SPIRIT: Wow! Thank YOU SO MUCH!!!  Mike |
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KoKo Senior Member
since 2003-02-15
Posts 995Inside the shadow's shadow |
~hugs ya~ Told you this was book worthy!!! I do not know whether I was then a man dreaming I was a butterfly, or whether I am now a butterfly dreaming I am a man. |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
KoKO, Oh I can't believe you were still thinking of me and came back to read the posts! ~Hugs~ Oh you are so incredibly kind. Great to hear from you again! I can't wait to read all of your future poems, so start posting them please  Mike |
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poetSeaMaiden Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107 |
Oh boy - a compressed ball, eyes shut tight...so many lines I can relate to, this is AGAIN, painfully wonderful! I like your little short lines - they are packed with meaning! I am SO glad you are feeling better! MORE MORE!! |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
PoetSeaMaiden, I already answered this, but the post seems not to have gone through. so here I go again Yay! Thank you so much. Oh I read all of your posts to my other poems and I feel so good right now!!! Thank you, oh I am so touched!!! ~HUGS~ Mike [Huge Smile] |
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poetSeaMaiden Member
since 2003-04-25
Posts 107 |
Well, I'm glad I could bring a smile and a "feel good" to you! I just really like your style, and I can really FEEL what you write, I guess because I can relate? I don't know. Anyway, you can count on me to be reading it all! Thanks for sharing and for all the nice comments back to me. If you get a chance, check out my other 2 poems back on about pages 4-5, I think you'll like them too. "Seductive Waters" and "Angel in the Light." Let me know what you think, ok? ( If you get a chance that is - I'm not TWISTING your arm to read them or anything! ) HA HA HA  Big hugs! |
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MikeFessel Member
since 2003-04-19
Posts 321Brooklyn, NYC, USA |
poetSeaMaiden, Are you kidding me? I can't wait to read them, you MUST know that! Oh, so nice to share poetry with someone who relates to me, and who I relate with in return. Big Hugs Back! Mike |
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