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| Open Poetry #26 |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space 
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Sun slips through window dawn changes nothing pinned to bed by the weight of things There is almost comfort in this darkness its roots dug deep long a part of me And though she whispers of beauty within these eyes I see only the beast that lies behind them The haunt of its breath upon my flesh teeth bared in wicked smile the Devil mocks but the face is mine I have crushed a soul in cold revenge Drawn tears with words for pleasure Have felt the crack of ribs against my boot Thought the thoughts that one should not In the hold of self pity for suffering endured I'd thought these things justified that all should feel my pain My knees worn with prayer I have found no solace in repentance the sting of self flaggellation yet to release me For I know there is no angel left wings soiled and halo lost in depths few would face |
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| © Copyright 2003 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Once again... well. As soon as I figure out a response worthy of this... I'll be back.  |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
all too often our own self judgement is worse than any others would impose on us.. you state this. all of this in a poetic way that flows dwon the page and into the readers mind... and leaves a sting of our own failings to ponder... Not a one of us here is an angel.. and not a one of us that live have not committed acts we could be judged harshly for... pick up the feathers and glue them back on... you may never fly... but they will keep you warm. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
there IS a beauty in those eyes... ...and angels are everywhere, though some fall...it's expected...not hopeless. [This message has been edited by passing shadows (04-23-2003 03:36 PM).] |
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wings of the moon Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323Pink bubblegum land |
Few, that was a physical read. Very empowering, brutal and hard at points but terribly compelling, well done  I was mesmerized...!"more than yesterday, less than tomorrow, i love you" |
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Brad Majors
since 2001-04-03
Posts 2647Georgia |
very good use of imagery! |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
Truly magnificent, in it's power, and perception. I liked what Cpat said... wise words. TD |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Raph, this is a magnificent piece m'friend which does show the beauty within your eyes. I see it! very powerful. keeping it. Maree |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
karilea I'm not even shure what to say Cpat thanks, eventually of course i will just feeling ugly inside and out today Very sweet thanks Dixie I know its not hopeless but knowing and feeling are different things Thanks you wings I'm glad you got through it grin Thanks Brad appreciate it Thanks thisdiamon, I always like what Cpat says Thank you very much Maree too sweet |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Raph: this is a brilliant write Had me at every line eyes intent heart beating fast dropped jaw just like an amazing write should be You are awesome (but I do disagree with you - but of course you knew I had to put that in here hehe) xxoo |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
This is a powerful introspection .... an absolutely breathtaking write. ... it came to the light .... you see LIGHT IS, whether you see it or not. You are Light, look twice within ....you'll find the sun breaking through the clouds. Love, Margherita |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
... |
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junemac Senior Member
since 2003-04-24
Posts 1005uk |
this poem was really thought provoking. i was fascinated all the way through. june x |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Even angels fall and when they do, they learn and grow and become, somehow less remote. I always enjoy the feel of your work even when it's painful to read. Kethry Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Thanks Sue not an easy write to..well write and I know you disagree but.. Un abbracio Margherita very sweet words I am always awed by your kindness Kamla?? Silence? That's just scary is it speechlessness or you holding back a critique, if it's the latter let loose but understand this was less a poem than it was a purge Thanks June glad it held you Thank you Kethry it means alot that you do |
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