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Open Poetry #26
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The Rich Man And The Thief
| Open Poetry #26 |
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The Rich Man And The Thief |
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sperarifraai Member
since 2003-03-06
Posts 65Ireland |
She talks to the dead They tell her their terrible regrets Of a mortality they spent Trying not to forget their dreams That they fantasised some day where looming They always wanted to aspire to something They ignored their homes And they ignored their schools Never broke down walls Never attempted to draw an ace From the pockets of their patent denim jeans Never went to the city Never looked in between They despised and they cried And they thought suicide They appeared with thick make up If opinions where dangerous then their opinions they lied They knew themselves all their life For every month, every day, every week They lived with themselves yet never heard themselves speak As windows where closed And rivers dried up Another maybe became a never to hope She weeps for them still with her haunting blue eyes She sees such distractions and they help her realise That its not about winners, losers, happiness or grief Life is a rich man and time is a thief |
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| © Copyright 2003 Sperari Fraai - All Rights Reserved | |||
Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
Though there were a few problems with your wording, I enjoyed the read the second time through. It's an interesting way to approach the truth...that one must seize the moment, bravely follow one's own pathway, however rough the road gets. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I love it! |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
For the most part, Very enjoyable, But I have a little problem with the start She talks to the dead They tell her their terrible regrets Of a mortality they spent Trying not to forget their dreams A modest rewrite She talks to the dead Terrible regrets they have said Mortality they have spent Trying not to forget dreams that went Most the rest keeps this sort of rhyme Slipping from it, time to time, A pleasure to read as it is now Gloom |
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littlewing Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655New York |
Sperari: I loved this line: They lived with themselves yet never heard themselves speak so true - so very true my friend nice write xxoo |
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